170 People Are Sharing Their Work Brainfarts, And They're Embarrassingly Hilarious

At my main work, we got a new Team Leader called Sunday. It took a while for one of my co-workers to realise that I was telling her to call the person, not to book a call for five days away.

How about patting your girlfriend on the head when she walks by after you spent the weekend training your dog?

My mom has worked in a day care for 25+ years. A few years back we were in the hospital to visit her father, who was going to pass away any day. Understandably, she was a bit out of it.
When we were exiting the elevator, an old man walked by, tears in his eyes, cursing repeatedly.
Instinctively, my mother said "We don't say those no-no words here!" While making direct eye contact with him.
We very quickly walked down the hall as if she hadn't said anything.

I was at a restaurant and ate what I liked in my salad and left the rest in the bowl. Instead of the waitress asking "if I was done with my salad" she said in her best MOM mode voice "you are not done with your salad!" Being a mom myself, I laughed and responded "does that mean I don't get dessert if I don't eat all my dinner too?"

We were having dinner one night at my dad's house. I was with a new boyfriend at the time. I opened the refrigerator to look for the sport pepper sauce. When I couldn't find it, I loudly asked where the sport PECKER sauce was.

A banking colleague of mine visited two attractive young female customers who had just moved into more spacious offices. He got stuck between saying "its great to be able to spread out" & "it's great to be able to stretch your legs". He finished up saying "it's great to be able to spread your legs". Freudian slip?

Not a work fail but while writing a very important paper i wrote what people take for grunted instead of granted and wrote the wrong name on it

These are about as bad as when i was in training for a call center job, we had to answer the phone as " thank you for calling ACS how may i help you? well me & my brain fart said.... Thank you for calling ASS how can i help you!!

I worked at the A&W in my town while I was in university. After at year and a half, I got a job as a receptionist/dispatcher at a large every company. One day I was showing another coworker how to find something on the computer and the phone rang. I answered the phone with "Welcome to A&W what can I ge-wait, what?" One of the ladies from the call centre was on the other end of the phone and was dying. I apparently made her day. The coworker I was helping had no idea what I said and was very confused why I was laughing so hard.

I sometimes volunteer as an MC for the local eisteddfod. It's kind of like a big show, where contestants perform for points in numerous categories. It's very long, and it's very fun.

So, we were on the music section. I had been up late MC'ing the previous night - it had run about two hours over time, so I was very tired. Anyway, a lot of the names had been in numerous languages - some were French, some were German, some Italian etc.

We got to the Saxophone section, and I looked on the page to see who was next. So, I confidently walked up to my podium and read out the name of the piece. Of course, it was called "Get Eccentric", but my mind was not having any of that. So I very confidently told the entire crowd, "Next up we have competitor number four with 'gièt eccentrie'" in my best possible French. It seems, while others get confused between words, I just forget entire languages exist.

I've worked as a secretary for a swimming pool company for several years. I constantly say "yes/no, sir" to women and "yes/no, ma'am" to men. However, my favorite slip up was when instead of answering "Hello, ________ Pools!", I was very hungry, and said "Hello, ___________ Food!" My sister happened to be at work with me and just about died laughing. Lucky for me, it was just a recording.

I also may or may not have belched loudly at a telemarketer trying to sell me meds.

I was introducing the new bosses of the section I was working in. Standing in from of 1200 people, instead of introducing Randy and Chandra, I said Chandy... dang it.

I worked at a convenience store where we kept the condoms behind the counter, so customers had to embarrass themselves to ask for them. One guy asked for a "pack of Trojans" or something. They are sold in a three pack and a twelve pack so I instinctively reached for the twelve pack. The customer said, "no, I want the small one". Without thinking I shot back "one size fits all". He was not amused.

I take public transport everyday and I always thank the driver when I leave... I end up saying thank you when I get ON the bus and to random people when I meet them.

I was a consultant leading a big community meeting for a small town. I was greeting everyone when they walked in to the auditorium and the mayor and her grand-daughter walked in. The mayor was a white woman who happened to be wearing a bright red blouse. She introduced me to her young grand-daughter who was African American and we all started talking and making little jokes and I commented on how radiant the mayor's outfit was. When she commented that we had such a big turnout and asked how I was going to organize the workshop part of the meeting, I smiled and, thinking about her vibrant blouse, said "how about we separate people by color?" Her: "Excuse me?" It finally dawned on me and all I could blurt out was: SHIRTS! CLOTHES! She looked confused and then I had to go talk in front of 150 people for an hour, blushing.

I used to work at a schmancy restaurant. A group of 5 or 6 guys around my age were sitting at a table located next to a Parson's table with gigantic bottles of wine called Nebuchadnezzars on it. They were oggling the bottles and I jokingly said I'd know who to look for if one went missing. One of the guys said "I'll just put it on my back and walk out." To which I replied "Yeah! Just strap it on!" We looked at each other numbly for a few seconds and then he said "Just walk away. No one else heard." I turned right around and hid in the service station until my face went from red to normal face color.

Working on film sets so often, I catch myself, and my coworkers have agreed to this well, saying "striking!" whenever turning on a light while not on a set.

For years in my teens,I worked at a drive-thru carwash which was always just referred to "the carwash."
When I later switched over to a fast food joint, I automatically and constantly called the drive-thru window the 'carwash'. I'd say things like "Ugh, I'm in carwash tonight..." not knowing why I'd always get such utterly blank and confused stares from co-workers.

Worked at a pizza restaurant (chain). Second day on the job, answered the phone with a greeting naming a competing pizza chain. Somehow kept the job.

I had just started working at Chick Fil A, and training on the drive through. The person training me would say things like "Id be happy to serve you at the window" or "Its my pleasure to serve you at the window". Well one time, I got the 2 of them mixed up and said" I'd be happy to pleasure you at the window" I immediately heard what I said and didn't even turn around when they drove up. I told the manager what I did, and he just laughed.