If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they're not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one's head.
Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you're expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you've come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.
Okay, okay, it's not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don't feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it's bearable. So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place.
Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.
P.S. if you're looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!
#81 Welcome to the Hurties Club
"Thirties? More like the 'hurties.' Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking."
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#82 Forever 29, huh?
"Happy first anniversary of your 29th birthday!"
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#83 Adulting: Plot Twist, You’re Still Figuring It Out
"You are now an official mature and responsible adult. This means you also have to start acting like one."
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#84 Parenting: Choose Your Own Exhaustion Adventure
"Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty!"
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#85 20s Excuse Expired, Sorry Not Sorry
"Have fun on your birthday, but don’t get too crazy. Remember that you can’t blame your irresponsible behavior on “being in your 20s” anymore."
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#86 Still Feeling 21, Just With Bills
"Life turned 30 is less about knowing how old you are and more about believing how young you feel."
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#87 Finally caught up with the rest of us
"I can’t believe it took you thirty years to grow up. Better late than never, though."
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#88 One step closer to free popcorn
"Congratulations on being one year closer to a senior citizen's discount at the movies."
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#89 So, When Did We Become The Adults?
"There used to be a show called '30 Something' and if you can remember it, you’re beyond it."
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#90 Peak adulting energy drop
"When you were 24, you didn’t even get to the bar until 11 p.m. Now, you’re in bed and asleep before the monologue on SNL."
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#91 Crowds? Hard pass.
"The only thing a line in front of a bar means is that there’s a large crowd inside. And you don’t do crowds anymore."
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#92 Finally, Saturday Night Secrets Stay Secret
"Gone are the days of having to hear about what you did on Saturday night from another person."
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#93 Glow Up: Solo Bar Dates Are Peak Flex
"You wouldn’t be caught dead alone at a bar in your 20s. But now, it’s the ultimate luxury. Just you, a drink, and then another drink."
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#94 Aging: The ultimate ninja move
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again!"
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#95 Sweating now, saving later
"Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement."
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#96 “Wait, When Did Everyone Shrink?”
"When high schoolers start looking like preschoolers to you… You might be a 30-year-old."
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#97 Smart Moves Only
"You develop a safe drinking strategy on nights out."
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#98 Aging Like Fine Wine—Somewhat Sadly
"Oh you’re 30? One drink means 3 days of a hangover."
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#99 Adulting hits different, huh?
"Ugh. Your thirties… Where your friends from high school don’t invite you to their kids birthday parties anymore."
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#100 Recovery takes longer than the hangover
"Your 30s: where a day of drinking requires recovery time like a minor surgery."
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