If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they're not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one's head.
Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you're expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you've come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.
Okay, okay, it's not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don't feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it's bearable. So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place.
Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.
P.S. if you're looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!
#101 Flirty but Make It Classy
"At thirty you can get flirty without being dirty."
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#102 Vintage vibes but make it young
"You're not really 30. You're 18 with 12 years of experience."
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#103 Still young, just slightly more responsible
"Don’t feel down. 30 years old is only 120 months older than 20, and it’s going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun."
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#104 Forever 29 and Counting
"Don’t worry about turning 30. You can say you’re 29 for several more years, and people will believe it!"
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#105 Aging is just a rerun, right?
"Don’t think of it as turning 30. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday."
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#106 Priorities: Furry Over Fabulous
"Forget parties, gym memberships, and makeup. It’s time to spend all your money on cats, dogs and children!"
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#107 Thirty, flirty, and slightly confused
"Wow, you’re 30 now. There’s no better time in your life to celebrate with friends or family… except if you’re 29 or younger."
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#108 Vintage vibes only
"If you were a card, you’d be an antique!"
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#109 Predictable but unmissable energy crash
"If you start drinking at 1 p.m., you best believe you’re on the couch watching Friends reruns with a family-sized bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos by 7."
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#110 Mood: Redefined
"On a scale of 1-10, feeling a solid 30."
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#111 Counting up or holding on?
"Happy 29 + 1th! But seriously, you're going to have to come to terms with this eventually."
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#112 Forever stuck in high school mode
"Recycled teenager."
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#113 Adulting Level: Expert Excuses
"The good thing about turning 30 is if you don't want to do something, you can say, 'I'm too old to do that!'"
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#114 Too Much Life Update Energy
"Your Facebook feed is inundated with baby pictures and wedding photos."
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#115 Morning essentials, redefined
"30s life hack: put your Nespresso machine next to your bed."
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#116 Thirty: Like a free workout, but make it brutal
"Turning 30 is as easy as jumping rope… If the rope were covered in hard metal spikes, you were barefoot, and the ground was covered in hot lava."
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#117 Counting days makes aging weirdly specific
"If you think about it this way, you’re only 21 years and 3,285 days old."
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#118 Number games we all stress over
"30 is a nice round number. Let’s just hope it doesn’t correspond to your figure."
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#119 Measuring Life in Woofs
"In dog years, you’d be getting closer to your death."
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