“My Wedding Day”: 92 Times People Misread Social Cues So Badly, It Still Hurts To Remember

When I take my evening walk, I often have a “go-to” greeting for everyone I see. This particular night, it was unseasonably warm and I was wearing shorts for the first time this year and my legs were very white. That night’s “go-to” was apologizing for my white legs blinding them. I got a few chuckles and was feeling pretty good about my little Midwestern small talk. That is, until I walked passed a lady with a blind walking stick… I didn’t notice her stick until it was too late

I was at a party, I saw a guy walking towards me...he came straight at me so I got up and hugged him. He made this weird face, walked past me and grabbed his jacket that was on the chair next to me. I was so embarrassed that I ran out and avoided eye contact with everybody

I was at work talking to this guy. He was telling me about his weekend boating with friends. He said, "you should come next time". I said, "ok! Bye!" And practically ran away. Later, after I got over my embarrassment/shyness I asked him to my office and asked him on a proper date. At which point he explained he is gay and just wanted to hang as friends.

I was at a National English teacher convention and was going to a panel discussion that Jason Reynolds was part of. As I got closer to the room, I saw Jason Reynolds standing in the hallway all by himself. I couldn’t believe my luck! I immediately introduced myself and started a conversation.(extrovert here). He was very nice. Finally another lady with a badge came over and said, “Ma’am, the audience is already seated.” I then realized he was by himself to mentally prepare for his presentation.

Someone stopped me and was like “Hey how are you! It’s good to see you!” and I had a whole conversation with her, ending in the warmest hug.
I have no idea who she was.

Literally a few days ago I was at the airport walking to my gate and I noticed a cute guy standing off to the side talking to another guy. As I got up close to them, the cute guy says “have a safe trip”
Me: “Thank you, you too!”
He looks at me weird and then I noticed his friend was walking away and he was clearly talking to him and not me. Like, why would I think he was talking to me, a complete stranger ??

I was out and about and a woman came up to me and said “you are so beautiful” and I thanked her and she said “you remind me so much of my sister” and I wasn’t sure what to say so I quipped “I hope you like her!” and she said “I loved her very much”

Was at a party and met a new group of ppl. One guy kept talking about how this annoying girl was on the way & the group agreed no one wanted her there for what sounded like good reasons.
He stepped out & returned happily with a girl he introduced as his gf. Thinking she'd be in on the joke too I said "Whew glad you aren't that annoying girl"
Everyone stared at me in disbelief and that's when I realized that the gf was the girl they'd been hating on.
Needless to say those weren't my people

An aquaintance I kind of knew, was holding his fist out to me and said "how's your night been so far?" I grabbed his fist like a microphone and said "it's been really good tonight!" He looked at me super confused and said "I was trying to give you a fist bump" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I felt like a weirdo. To be fair, who holds their fist sideways for a fist bump?

I was temporarily using crutches and about to take the elevator for work. Group of coworkers came in and I asked if they wanted me to hold it for them and they said they’d take the stairs. I shouted, “enjoy your legs while you have them!”

My foster child was having surgery and a nurse asked me how I think he’ll do with separating from me. I went into a whole thing about his attachment to me, but that he would do okay because we would do the transition slowly when he moves (which was coming up soon) and that I would likely still be able to see him. She waited until I was done and said, “…I meant when we take him for surgery.” I WAS VERY TIRED OKAY

At least once a week I do something low key like this on accident. This week I was multitasking and meant to tell a coworker “I love that for you” but what I actually said was “I love you.”

My son and his wife work overnight in a nursing home. I ask my son after every shift "Did anyone pass away last night?" So, I asked his wife the same thing. She burst into tears and said "My uncle"
JFC.

Ran into a friend that is gone to school with from K-12 at the grocery store. He was picking up some things because he was moving out of his mom’s house to his own place. After a few minutes of chat and catching up we each moved on but I remembered I should wish him well in getting his own place. I chose to turn around and yell loudly from about two aisles away in the busy store, “have a smooth move Don”. It’s been haunting me for 40 years now

I had moved to Alabama for a brief stint (grew up in Iowa, lived in Colorado for years; never been to the South). Day 1, pull into a fast food place and ordered a drink:
Her: “what fries”
Me: “no”
Her: looks blankly at me
Me: looks blankly at her
Back and forth like this for minutes.
Me: “I don’t want fries, I want a drink, please.”
Her: “siiiiiiiize. What size drink?”
I told my husband we have to move immediately (stayed 4 years)

I accidentally flirted with my daughter’s high school volleyball coach who is like 22 years old, he said he always checks to see what parents are at the games and I asked him if he was checking up on me. I will never stop thinking about that sentence as long as I live

in high school this guy i REALLY liked and had been hanging out with a lot confessed to me one day that he really liked me too, and i was so flustered and nervous that the first thing i said was “you have a crush on me, that’s embarrassing” in this weird random partial valley girl voice for some reason😭😭i have no idea where tf that voice came from OR why the HELL i said that in the first place

My in-laws had a “flower cake” on the counter and I curiously asked multiple times—MULTIPLE TIMES—how they planned to eat it. They’d just give me weird looks and ignore me.
I thought a “flower cake” was a regular cake decorated with real flowers. It dawned on me way, way later that it was just a flower arrangement…shaped like a cake.
That—especially with the silent weird looks—occasionally haunts me.

I just thought of another one. I was in 7th grade home-ec class and we were doing a kitchen scavenger hunt. I had to find the “tongs” and I came back yelling “I found the THONGS!” Uhg. I was so embarrassed

i used to work a burger king. i was 17 and planning a trip before going to college.. a lady pulls in the drive thru and it’s busy so we chopping it up. i say “yeah, bc i need some more ones” she is like “really?! i’m trying to get rid of these ones” im like “ill take them if you don’t want them” i laugh and she hands me a huge stack of $1s.. i count them real quick and its about $86 . i say “ooohh, thank you girl” and close the window..