“My Wedding Day”: 92 Times People Misread Social Cues So Badly, It Still Hurts To Remember

At a catholic wedding. The bit in the service comes where you turn round to the person behind and say “peace be with you”. I misheard and said “pleased to meet you too”!!!

I was in the front row at a Fifth Harmony concert. Thoughout the show I was vibing with everyone, dancing, and even making eye contact with Normani a lot. It felt like I was a part of the group! Everyone around me noticed too. When the concert ends, Normani comes out and waves me to go to the side of the stage. I get to the side and she’s pointing at me to come back stage. As I started to go back stage she yells, NO NOT YOU, my sister! Come to find out her sister was behind me the whole time

I was talking to a guy I had a crush on. He told me to have a great weekend.
I panicked and said "You too. Keep it Cracklin'"

In a video interview a potential employer asked what I was doing right now and I said “sitting here, talking to you” He meant for work

I was about 8m pregnant (undeniably pregnant too bc I’m 4’11) and rushing to a train station when a lady stopped me to ask how long I had left to go.
Super confused, I was like ‘well I’m heading to this town… so like… idk, half an hour?’
The way we both just blankly stared at each other for a min, and she was like ‘oh… okay?’ and I kinda walked away totally confused.
About halfway through the train trip I realised she was asking about my pregnancy. I bet she never did that again.

I went to take a picture for a family, they were hispanic (yes that matters). You know how we say say cheese. I said “Say Quesoooo” they were quiet. I just wanted to melt away. I think about that every now and again

First day of freshman year of high school, the guy behind me said “‘Sup” but I misheard and thought he said “scoot up” so I started moving my desk away from him. We sat next to each other any time we were in alphabetical order by last name for the next 4 years…

I was on the phone with our soon to be nanny discussing final logistics. We had met twice to interview and for her to meet our baby, but honestly, we barely knew each other at this point. As we were hanging up, I slipped into autopilot for ending phone calls and said “Love you, bye!” Immediately realized what I did, and instead of laughing it off I got embarrassed and just hung up the phone. After a couple months, I finally brought it up, like “remember that time…” and we laughed about it HARD.

I was interviewing for a data input job many years ago. The interviewer said that some find the work tedious. I replied, "different strokes for different boats. " that night I realized what I had said . I'm 73 now and still cringe when I hear the word boat.

This past Easter, as the priest was walking out at the end of mass, he looked right at me and raised his hand for a high five. With a smile I raised mine too. Then he passed me by and high fived the three year old in the pew behind me

I met my favourite actor at a convention and I told him I was his number one fan. His handler looked at me like i'd just farted so I quickly followed up with "but not in a Kathy Bates in Misery way". Fortunately he found that funny but I wanted to crawl into a hole!

My husband and I were waiting to get off a plane and the line was completely stopped. I noticed my friend’s mom towards the front getting her things. I yelled, “Hey lady, you’re holding up the whole plane!” My husband hit my arm and whispered how rude that was, and I was like, I know her. She knows I’m joking! And he said, “Look in front of you,” and there was an elderly woman who could barely move or carry her bag who actually was holding up the whole plane, so everyone thought I yelled at her.

I’m at orientation the week before my freshman year of college. I was extremely innocent - never drank alcohol, never had any substances. Just an introverted homebody & bookworm. At orientation we’re in a classroom getting some presentation & these 2 boys turn around and starting talking to me, ask me what I like to do for fun and “what’s your favorite drink?” My answer: “uhhh… probably chocolate milk.” They just giggled and left me alone after that.

i went to an interview at target a few years ago and the person interviewing me asked what i liked about target/why i would want to work there. i got nervous and said the first thing on my mind “i love the color red” and he laughed. i still think about this every night before bed

I was about 15 and went with my mom to the grocery store. She told the cashier “congratulations on your pregnancy!” The lady looked at her with daggers in her eyes and said “I’m NOT pregnant!” Instead of dissapearing, my mom sheepishly says “Oh I get it. I get so bloated too sometimes.” I tugged at my mom’s shirt like i was 4 years old trying to signal her to stop talking. But she kept going mentioning how she is trying to lose weight. I wanted a sink hole to open beneath me.

My ex was trying to brag to friends that a nurse was flirting with him (she wasn't). I was with him while he said this so made it 10x awkward.
Ex: I could've picked her up if I wanted.
Me: I mean she was kinda short, but why would you want to do that?
Everyone shut up after that and, in hindsight, maybe me playing dumb made him realize this was a stupid lie to brag about

Mine isn’t insane but one time the cashier at the gas station told me to have a good night and I meant to say “you too,” but my brain shut off halfway through and I confidently said “yoot!” and walked out. I think about it way too often.

It wasn't so much a 'misreading of social cues' as a 'misreading of someone's limbs.'
(I was in high school and have since realized how awful this was REGARDLESS of the potential presence/absence of body parts)
Met a friend's friend for the *first* time. As they were walking up, it looked like he was holding an arm behind his back, so I joked- "You're an amputee!"
He...he was.
And then, even though I'm 92% certain they didn't even hear me, I made it weird by saying "...GROUP HUG!!!"

I was in 5th or 6th grade. My class was on a field trip somewhere that had a small theater. An adult was walking down the aisle of the theater (with me and my class filling the seats).
Some gesture the adult made triggered an instinctive reaction in me: I reached my arms out to him, as if I were a toddler asking to be picked up.
I’ve never forgotten the embarrassment.

I just went to the gas station and when I was done checking out the cashier said “have a nice night” and bruh tell me why I said no thank you