“My Wedding Day”: 92 Times People Misread Social Cues So Badly, It Still Hurts To Remember

My wedding day. The server asked me if I wanted to cut the cake and I said, “Yes, great idea, thank you!” Smiling at her. She stared at me blankly, eventually said, “So… you’ll cut the cake now?” I said, “I mean, you can cut it…?” Blank stare. I awkwardly back away. Cake is eventually served and it’s yummy. Later I tell my husband, “It was so strange, they were asking me to work. They wanted me to cut the cake. Obviously, I didn’t bring a knife!”

Undiagnosed autistic, first time in a new public school in 4th grade, first time at recess.
I watch one girl stroke another’s hair and say “Nani Nani Nani” in a lullaby type voice. The other girl seemed to like this. When we lined up I tried to replicate this with her in an attempt to become friends. We had never even said hello before. They were both INCREDIBLY weirded out.
They proceeded to “be my friends” and viciously bully me at the same time for years. It was very confusing.

I once went to an end of year function/ staff meeting for a group of colleges. I did not work with these people and somehow misread an invitation to attend and was just there for the whole luncheon before I realised it was a staff meeting. Everyone was so kind and welcoming lol I still laugh about it today like…

Another kids mom, at PreK graduation, said "Oh I LOVE your dress" and when I glanced over my shoulder (was presently crouched to help my daughter get her shoes strapped) reflexively said "thank you so much!" as I clocked that she was looking past me - at my daughter, in HER cute dress (and by rights should have been, she was so stinkin cute!). By the time I was able to straighten up to acknowledge my faux pas, other mom was gone and I was left humbled lol

In secondry school my teacher stopped me in the hall and asked ‘do you know what time your guitar lesson is?’ And I said ‘Yes I do’, she just stared at me for a really long time, waiting. I eventually smiled, turned and walked away. It wasn’t until later that I realised she was requesting the information, not just asking if I knew lmao

At a restaurant with fam/friends. Friend goes to the bathroom and I decide I want to scare her. I walk into the silent bathroom where there’s two stalls. I make the horrific assumption it was only her in there. First door opens within seconds and I jump behind it and immediately squeal like a pig. The woman looked at me for half a second and immediately fled. My friend from the other stall goes “what the hell bro” I wanted to never leave that bathroom.

Once I asked my coworker if she had a minute to connect about something, and I meant to ask if she was busyrunning off to an appointment but I said “hey do you have a moment to chat or re you running away”

I didn’t misread any social cues, my brain just decided to ruin things. My current job was me (male) and 7 women. I had a job interview that would have been a big bump in money. Aced the interview. I knew I was in, they knew I was in. They also were a department where I’d be the only man. Hiring manager is walking me toward the door.
Her: Any other questions for us?
Me: No, it seems ideal. I like working with women.
I LIKE WORKING WITH WOMEN?!?! WHAT THE ACTUAL…
DIdn’t get the job.

One time when I was a kid we were visiting family, in particular a cousin who was really sick with cancer. My mom gave us a STERN talking to in the car that we were not to mention/ask about his hair loss from chemo. We got in the house, he is wearing a hat. At some point, he decides to play "I spy" with us, and I said "I spy something red". He couldn't guess it, until I PULLED OFF HIS FUCKING HAT AND RAN AROUND WITH IT. Mom said hair, not anything about the hat.

At a customer dinner I was invited to, the CEO of the company left early and while saying his good byes , I blew a kiss

I was serving this group of guys at the bar, and while one of them was saying his order, I wanted to grab a pen from my apron. As my hand went in, I felt something weird (it was a piece of onion I accidentally dropped in my apron). I made a face naturally. But the guy thought I didn’t like his order lmao he was upset and obviously didn’t tip me

I thought some classmate I knew was dabbing me up as I was approaching class but in reality he was saying what’s up to his friend who was walking behind me and approaching as I was. I never dabbed him before so I thought it was weird but I was like why not and sure enough my social awkward cues got me again, that lives rent free in my head to this day

I was at a dance (I think it was a church group or something, so it must have been a loooooong time ago) and this nice boy asked me to dance. He said ‘your hands are cold’ and I said ‘Mum says I have bad circulation’!!!

I was working at a concession stand and a campus officer came up to me and ordered a beer with the most serious voice/face ever. I was like uhhh okay, which one? I guess in my head I wasn’t like oh he can’t drink on the job. I can’t remember what happened afterwards I try to block it out of my memory