83 Of The Most Shockingly Dumb Things People Have Ever Heard

1. "I can't believe someone remade that lame Vanilla Ice song!"
Teenager at the grocery store when "Under Pressure" came over the sound system.


2. A cashier in Arizona called her manager and tried to keep my ID stating "New Hampshire is not a real place."

I remember years ago being in the kitchen with the smartest guy in our small company (he's now gone on to startup his own multi million tech firm), he was making a client a cup of black coffee while putting small amounts of milk in it.

He finally stopped and said "that is as black as I can make it" which is where I asked what he was doing.

I then explained to him black coffee was without milk, he didn't believe me so went and asked the client, fortunately he had the sense to strategically ask rather than looking more of an idiot.

A guy friend I have asked me if I had a uterus- he was being serious. I was having very bad cramps that day related to that time of the month so yes, I do have a uterus.

I had a woman that I used to work with that didnt realise that Fiji was a seperate country to Australia and you needed a passport for it. She was under the impression you needed a passport for visiting countries in the northern hemisphere only. Anything else in the southern hemisphere was fine.

In highschool a guy I know was convinced that if it was June in america it was December in South america. Not that the seasons were flipped he genuinely thought the months were different. Guy was one of the dumbest people I know, ended up being a J6er which is the least suprising thing ever.

A guy once told me that plants and animals have scientific names in Latin because people from ancient Rome went around the entire planet naming stuff.

Having lunch with a couple friends of mine. One from England the other from the Midwest usa. The Midwest friend casually asks the Englishman what's it like to hear someone talk with no accent. As if Midwest America was the pinnacle of the world and everything centered from there.

My boss hired my assistant because he was good at kissing up, despite my protest that he was dumb as a bag of wet mice.

One day he looked at me and asked: "One quarter, and one quarter, and one quarter, and one quarter, how much is that?"

I finally got to fire him a month or two later when he came to work tripping and couldn't figure out how to get out of the bathroom stall.

Maybe only funny at the time. In the 90s my son had spend the night company. Rented Jurassic Park. The kid said, in all seriousness, "you know they didn't use real dinosaurs ". We still bring it up when we need a laugh.

I've had conversations with 3 people who don't understand why printing more money wouldn't solve the federal deficit.

I'm sure there are many truly more stupid things I've heard, but one that stood out came from an adjudicator at a Middle School "brain bowl" competition. He asked the audience what the lowest possible temperature was in Kelvin, and I said 0 (i.e. absolute zero). The adjudicator just kind of chuckled and shook his head and said that, no, the answer is -273. I clarified and said oh did you mean Celsius and not Kelvin, but no, he was just confidently incorrect and very smugly told us to look it up ourselves.

A girl at my high school decided the best way to show her parents she was responsible and thinking about her future was to let her 20-something boyfriend with 2 or 3 other baby mommas knock her up "Because babies *are* our future!"

She once said sleep is just a suggestion.. like I still think about it every time I’m exhausted.

Single family housing in Southern California will become affordable if they wait long enough is something I keep on hearing over and over. Even if it somehow crashes like in 08 that assumes that they will be in an advantageous position to buy. This is coming from very smart people and understanding of economics but on this subject they seem to throw it out the window.

"I don't want cooked shrimp. I want pre-cooked shrimp" A white blonde native english speaking woman in her 30s came to me at Wegmans with a recipe card in her that called for pre cooked shrimp.

Stupid funny, but my sister applied for a job one time that asked her to pick a word to describe herself and chose the word OMINOUS.

Rivers only run from north to south (because it could only flow from the top of the map to the bottom).

Placing too many people on Guam will cause the island to capsize.

A colleague once got caught sharing a secret they’d been entrusted with and said, completely serious:

“What’s the point of a secret if I can’t tell anyone?”

I just stood there like… O.o … then… o.O … and decided that was the day logic officially resigned.

I was speechless. Still am, actually.

My FIL once said, "I don't know why Taco Bell is supposed to be bad for you. It's got lettuce on it".


I politely laughed at the lame joke.


He was not joking...