83 Of The Most Shockingly Dumb Things People Have Ever Heard

"Man...ya know...we should do something epic this summer you guys...im serious...like something crazy...what if we take a bus or rent one somewhere and we just take off and drive to Europe."

(Nervous chuckling from a few of us...quizical looks from others)

"No guys im serious...think about it...how often do you hear about guys our age doing that?!"

This occurred almost 30yrs ago in college in the US. He was an education major.

"If evolution is real, why aren't there cave paintings depicting it?"

My ex said to me if gravity ceased to exist we’d fall into Australia….. yeah, I had the same reaction as you just did reading this.

A guy who was trying to get my friend to go home with him, in response to her saying something like ew, no, how do I know you don’t have some disease (because this guy was with a different girl every minutes):

“Nah, girl, it’s cool. I’m clean. I mean I only had the AIDS once but not no more”.

I have never forgotten this and not just because of the glaringly bad grammar.

While I’m aware there are great treatments for HIV which stop full blown AIDS from happening, I’m unaware of any treatment that would cause “the AIDS” to just go away. Especially not in the early 90s.

Lesbians caused the LA wildfires. My boss. In Canada.

Over lunch a coworker said she saw on FB that today and today only, if you subtract your birth year from the current year, you'll get you age. Magic!

My friend told me one time that she thought the reason people couldn’t have monkeys as pets is bacause it would be too easy to teach them to steal. What do you even say to that? Maybe?

One of my friends was going to light a bonfire directly with a can of gas. When I said thats a pretty stupid idea, he said "Dont worry, I'm OSHA certified", and proceeded to light the bonfire and the gas can spigot on fire. He did manage to throw the flaming can into the nearby lake to extinguish it...after lighting half the grass on fire waving it around. I'm still not sure how he managed to not get burned or burn anyone else.

Waiting in line to donate plasma and a girl said I wish we could just do this from home like on our phone.  Yeah she wanted to donate body fluids by mobile phone.

I asked for an iced coffee (it was listed on the menu) at a small local coffee chain and the girl taking my order said "but if I put ice in the coffee, it will melt" and I think about her sometimes.

My coworker once told me she doesn't eat at restaurants that have been open less than a year because "the food hasn't had time to develop flavor yet." i think about it at least once a week.

That seals are fish with gills and everything. This woman has a PhD.

Guy said the Space Station was fake. You know you can go outside and watch it fly over with your own eyes, right? So I wasn't surprised when he said the moon landings were fake, Fibromyalgia is fake etc...

"Can you take a selfie of me?".

I worked as a vendor at a Wachovia Bank. It was a fairly popular bank with a bunch of locations. It was bought out and they were merging with a much larger bank. A teller was talking to coworkers and said she felt bad for Mr. Wachovia because he was losing his bank. She was genuinely confused when her coworkers tried to explain to her what a corporation was, and how she currently worked for one.

I was sitting in an opticians and there was an oldish couple sat next to me waiting for an eye test.

Outside the eye test room was the machine that tests for glaucoma, the one that blows gently in to your eyes.

The guy said to his wife that he’s not going on that machine because that one makes you short sighted, then you go in that other room and they tell you that you need glasses.

As a footnote, when I was leaving the store I walked past them, he was wearing and asking his wife’s opinion of the biggest pair of glasses I’ve seen in my life.

Someone in work, a long time ago, said that dogs bring lightning into a house during a thunderstorm.

When I was in college I had a friend that insisted meat wasn’t animal muscle.

Women aren’t supposed to work they are supposed to stay at home and take care of their parents forever and they don’t need to marry either or remarry after their first husband [passes away]. My late mom said these things.

One day, as we were walking back to office after lunch, my co-worker presses the pedestrian button at a traffic light. He immediately proceeds to use the same finger to dig his nose.

I told him, hey that's disgusting. You don't know what germs linger on that button surface since it's been touched by thousands of people.

He looks at me, shrugs and says - "I don't see anything with my eye so there's nothing on it!".