Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#161
When I was 12 I had my first girlfriend. I broke up with her because she tried to make out with me and I was scared because I never had. Fast forward a year, we were back together and I broke up with her again because she wanted to go all the way. 13 is too young, and I still stand by that decision.
17points
#162
She wouldn't change the volume on the TV to an even number. I mean how hard is it to put the TV on 30 instead of 29
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16points
#163
Dude, one time this girl played with my dick hole and made it look like it was talking, while she imitated baby talk.
16points
#164
I found an open condom wrapper in his bathroom trash can. I confronted him and he said his cat was playing with the condom and probably poked a few holes. I left immediately because the condom was missing from the wrapper.
16points
#165
He wore lipstick.
16points
#166
I was interested in this girl I worked with. Gave her a ride home one night and she invited me in. She had an 18-month old daughter, which I was okay with. While we were talking, the kid needed a diaper change, like a MAJOR #2 issue. She used the wet, crappy diaper as a wipe, nothing else, and left a lot of poo on the poor kid, then went right back to talking like it was no big deal. Nope! Bye, Felicia!
16points
#168
Funny, I just had a friend telling me stories of a guy who broke up with his girlfriends for petty reasons. Apparently he broke up with his most recent ex for two reasons:
1: She didn't know how to make scrambled eggs.
2: They were making hot chocolate in a pot, and she was moving it from the pot to her mug with a small spoon. One spoonful at a time.
1: She didn't know how to make scrambled eggs.
2: They were making hot chocolate in a pot, and she was moving it from the pot to her mug with a small spoon. One spoonful at a time.
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15points
#169
On a dinner date he hawked up a big gob of mucus, pulled out his hanky & put it back into his pocket, Bon appetite ! You can't unsee that shit, even now it makes me want puke.
15points
#170
I met a guy on Tinder. On our first date, he took me to a pizza joint and told me he is a vegan but said I can still order what I like. I ordered one of the specialty meaty pizza only to have him criticize and try to convert me the rest of the night. I told him I had to rush for my train to get home and ghosted him since.
15points
#171
Local radio station had a similar line of questions and were talking calls a while back. I heard this girl explain that every time she was driving with her date, he would make squealing tire noses under his breath every time they turned. Always made me laugh thinking of that.
15points
#172
she left me because I was"mooching off of her and using her for her money." side note: I've never been unemployed for longer than a month since I was 15, work 50+ hours a week, and let her drive my brand new dream car for about 20,000 miles. she was unemployed on three separate occasions during the year and a half we were together, never helped pay for any of the bills, and I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. man I know how to pick them.
15points
#173
I got dumped because our sex life had really gotten bad...I wanted to more often then him (I'm a girl) and he didnt want to as often. I asked him why he never wanted to have sex and he told me if I lost weight he would want to more often (I was a little chubby but not huge by any means!) then we started working out together that week. He quit working out with me but I continued. About a week later I was still upset about him basically calling me fat...He told me I should 'just get over it'. Bye!
15points
#174
She walked too slow. We'd go out somewhere and walk down the street and I'd turn around and she's like 20 feet behind me.
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14points
#175
She was allergic to peanut butter. Like really bad. If I was gonna see her I couldn't have peanut butter for the two days before. That's a life I don't want to live.
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14points
#176
I was dating two guys with the same name. It was getting confusing. So I dumped one. Been with the other for 27 years now.
14points
#177
He thought I looked like Cindy Crawford (even though I really don't) and would call me not by name but always Cindy.
He thought it was a compliment, I thought it was bullshit. So Cindy says bye bye.
He thought it was a compliment, I thought it was bullshit. So Cindy says bye bye.
14points
#178
I broke up with my ex because he wasn't only a big narcissist, who tought that he was the most funniest guy in the world. He made up really stupid songs about himself like "uncle Wes, uncle Wes, is the best" ( Wes is short for Wesley) and laugh. He was also very gross. For example he tought I would appreciate it to get pictures of is poop. Clearly I didn't.
14points
#179
I was broken up with when I was 20. She said I wasn't providing a good enough life for her. I had no family to speak of and literally started out on my own at 16 with just clothes. I talked to her about it and she wanted me to own a fully furnished nice house, a brand new car, and have daily maid service. Needless to say I didn't try to win her back when I found that out. Last I heard she was single and living with her mom almost 10 years later.
14points
#180
Turned out she was a he.
14points