Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#141
She asked me if I'd wait for her while she went off to f**k a millionaire for a year or two.
19points
#142
He broke up with me because i was sexually assaulted and it was my fault because I wasn't strong enough to push him off
19points
#143
Me and my ex boyfriend were dating in park, we are happy and enjoying the day then suddenly he borrowed my apple iPod then he check my Facebook activity, he saw that I was liked someone picture post then he throw my iPod in a street, after that we end our relationship and I told him to replaced my iPod. I learned that I will never be in relationship to the guy that was younger than me.
18points
#144
I once dated a guy who was so lazy, he never wanted to work, study or go out. He wanted to live off his parents income for the rest of his life. His parents had to force him to even go to a dinner dance that my dance group was hosting. He threw a huge fit saying "my mum never took me to those when I was a kid" and flung my hand off his hand. the whole situation drove me mad. After 4 weeks of his laziness, I left him.
18points
#145
I broke up with my ex (partially... ok mostly) because the sex was SOOO bad. Like only missionary, no noises, hour long awful silent sex. I loved him otherwise but that was so painfully boring I couldn't keep going.
18points
#146
One ex ended up being horribly mean and rude to her whole family and would curse the out in front of me, and I didnt like that. Then as i started to break up with her she asked me to stay with her so that she could win a bet with her mom that i wasnt breaking up with her
18points
#147
I was on a date with a very boisterous and buxom girl who lived in one of the other houses my landlord owned. She seemed nice so I took her to a nice restaurant for dinner one evening. She never stopped talking!
I should say at this point that I had recently been commended at work for my honesty. At one point in the evening, my nerves frayed by the one sided conversation, she said her mother thought she talked too much, what did I think? My honesty ensured we never had a second date.
I should say at this point that I had recently been commended at work for my honesty. At one point in the evening, my nerves frayed by the one sided conversation, she said her mother thought she talked too much, what did I think? My honesty ensured we never had a second date.
18points
#148
He asked me to wear a scarf on my head ! Screw that m out
18points
#149
When I was 19 I took my girlfriend to a local concert. She asked if she could bring a friend, which was fine as I was bringing some friends. Turns out the friend she brought was her boyfriend. To make matters worse there was another dude there that was her "boyfriend" too. All three of us broke up with her that night.
18points
#150
I was a young freshly single mom. He would literally race me to change my infant son's diaper. The third time we hung out, he asked, "soo what do you think about people who like get married really fast after meeting?" He insisted on meeting my parents, and I have never seen a grown ass man brown nose the way he did with my dad. New Year's Eve, while dad was in the bathroom, he basically, LOUDLY, in front of extended fam, said "hush babe, the men are talking." Boy, BYE.
18points
#151
She had a mole on her eyelid. Every time I kissed her I saw it when I was leaning in. I started having dreams that the mole was talking to me.... That was the end.
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17points
#152
He wouldn't use tongue when we made out. If I tried, he'd stop kissing me and teasingly say, "Put that tongue back in there."
17points
#153
I dumped him because we went on one date- ONE DATE- and halfway through that date, he started talking about how he feels what strong chemistry we have and how he knows we're gonna be together forever, we'll buy a house and get married and he'll adopt my young son... really creeped me out. So I dumped him and he blew up my phone daily for almost two months after.
17points
#154
He would always stare at me no matter what I did. We could be walking or he could be driving and he'd always have his neck craned down, staring at me. Turns out after I broke up with him he turned into a complete psychopath. Didn't surprise me one bit.
17points
#155
I was dumped because I was not "totally and completely" in love with him, after just 1 week. I told him to take it slow, he told me he couldn't be with someone who doesn't share his feelings... What f**king feeling after just 1 week ???
17points
#156
He said my hair was too short, and I needed to pull on it as often as possible every day to make it grow faster.
17points
#157
This guy and I were very much in love. We got along great and had alot of fun together. One day we had planned a really great day together but he never showed up. I called and ge was really distant with me. I asked him to come over so we could talk. He came over and he barely could look at me. I asked him what was wrong and ge started to cry. He said he had to break up with me because his mother told him he had to. He said his mother wanted him to go out with someone from their church.
17points
#158
He liked to make out with my ear more than he liked to make out with me. My ear! Heavy breathing, tongue and all. That one didn't last long.
17points
#159
He incorporated How I Met Your Mother into every aspect of his life. Like he did actual slap bets. He was constantly quoting the show. One day I was trying to have a serious conversation with him about my anxiety and depression and he had said something about how when he's sad he just stops being sad and is happy instead. Two weeks later I was watching HIMYM and seen an episode where Barney had said the exact same thing he had said to me. Nope. Done.
17points
#160
Laying in bed, naked, and the guy (who didn't tell me he was a virgin until afterwards) slips it in for all of three seconds beforehand finishing. I freak out since there was no condom and he turns to look straight into my eyes and says "don't worry, I'll be a great dad. I won't go anywhere." Thank God i wasn't pregnant and got the hell out it as fast as I could- changed my number, blocked him on everything, and never spoke to him again.
17points

