Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#121
He called it 'Malk' and drank it with dinner. Every. Day. (Milk! With an 'i' goddamn it)
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22points
#122
Every time we (french) kissed, she said, "Yummy!"
It was meant to be sexy. It. Wasn't.
It was meant to be sexy. It. Wasn't.
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22points
#123
We had just started seeing each other and one day he started telling me about a cougar that hit on him at the gym (she made eye contact). He wouldn't stop talking about her so I blocked him. I wonder if he actually got a date with the cougar.
22points
#124
He plucked his eyelashes.
No, I'm not confused, I mean his actual eyelashes, on his actual lids.
No, I'm not confused, I mean his actual eyelashes, on his actual lids.
22points
#125
She sold my copy of "Amused to Death", signed by Roger Waters basicalky for peanuts, to make money for a present for her kid brother. I was caught between killing her or leaving her.
22points
#126
She always wanted to cuddle/touch me/flirt while I was eating. I told her it bothered me, but she thought it was cute or something so she did it often. One night while eating a slice of pizza she kept rubbing her hand up and down my arm, I had decided enough was enough and loudly broke up with her.
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21points
#127
He lived on a busy street. His bedroom had two large windows that faced the street.
No curtains.
No curtains.
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21points
#128
I was dating a guy, and we were together for about 5 months when all of the sudden he told me that it wasn't working out. I asked him why, he said that I was "too good to him" and then that was the last I heard from him. Lamest excuse ever to give to someone..
20points
#129
I went out on one date with a guy then he self declares, without my opinion or permission, that he is my boyfriend. He then proceeds to call me 'My Love' and called me at 3am everyday! It came to a point where I just ghosted the guy. His calls lasted a month then he went silent and I took it as a sign that he was over me, but no, two weeks from that last call he made to me he started calling again this time with a different number to tell me he 'broke up' with his new gf. The guy is mental!
20points
#130
I had one guy break up with me in high school because he said the ghost of his dead aunt told him to. Ok......
20points
#131
I once dated a girl who refused to make any noise while we had sex. Eventually she quit moving when we had sex too. When I asked her why. She says "if I don't make any sounds I like it." And continued saying "I don't move because I wanna get used to being raped." i don't know what she thinks this is but that ain't it! Deleted!
20points
#132
He laughed at me for half an hour straight when I told him I wanted to fly a fighter plane for the Navy
20points
#133
She was a swimmer at the university we went to and would only shower like once a week(her excuse was she was always in the water anyways). Once we were in bed, I couldn't shake the stench and how sticky her skin was from all the sweat and chlorine. Bad hygiene is a turn off and some body parts really should be taken care of better.
20points
#134
I'd have dinner ready for him every night when he got home from work and every single time he would say "my mum makes it better"
20points
#135
His head was too small. Like freakish, shrunken head small. He was a big dude 6'4 200 pounds, with this tiny child size head I could completely wrap my tiny girl hands around. My friend still call him Tiny Head Paul.
I hope he found someone to love him and that petite noggin of his.
I hope he found someone to love him and that petite noggin of his.
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19points
#136
She held her fork overhanded, as in the shovel technique. You can't take someone like that anywhere.
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19points
#137
Got a divorce because I came home from deployment and my house was super dirty. Like hoarder dirty.
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19points
#138
I broke up with my first love because of peer pressure and i regretted it for a very long time.
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19points
#139
I once dating a guy, after having sx, I go to take a shower but I did not lock the door. He open the door suddenly without saying anything and doing his poo poo. while I am still busy with my shampoo.
Sorry for my bad English. xD
19points
#140
Every time he liked something he would say "that's-a-nice" like Borat.
Another guy would touch my boob and whisper "squeeze"
19points