Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#61
I was dating a guy briefly early this Spring. He was a bigger guy, about 6'4" and 250 lbs. Two weeks into dating, when I'd try to have a conversation with him, he started to use this tiny, nasally, lispy baby voice to talk to me with! He said stuff like "oh mah gerd", "awww, poor baybay" or "cool story bro"...even had a movie quote for every scenario. All in the lispy baby voice! It was the biggest turn off ever, so I ghosted. No wonder he is single.
45points
#62
A guy left me because I was doing my Master in Cultural Studies. He said that it's not serious course enough and I haven't planned my futhure well. Two weeks later, he was dating a a two-classes-lower student of the same studies.
I can not blame him, she had like amazing boobs.
45points
#63
I left 2 bottles of expensive French wine at his place when I left, told him to keep him for next time we would see each other.
He drank them with his buddies at a camping trip, told me about it afterwards, still asked me if I could bring more "of that french wine he got drunk on"
Animal.
He drank them with his buddies at a camping trip, told me about it afterwards, still asked me if I could bring more "of that french wine he got drunk on"
Animal.
44points
#64
She would sing along with songs that were playing on the radio, but with a delay of .5 seconds, like she knew the tune, but didn't know the words until she HEARD them. It got SO annoying, SO quickly. Nope.
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43points
#65
I'm really into craft beers and I get super excited when I go to a place with a really big tap and/or bottle selection. I was on a second date with a guy and we were at a local bar with one of the best bottle selections in town. As I'm standing there analyzing the different bottles, trying to narrow down what I'd like to try, he orders us two Busch Lites.
I stopped returning his calls after that.
I stopped returning his calls after that.
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43points
#67
I took a bus, ferry, and subway to commute to her place.
She wouldn't reciprocate. The commuting distribution was wildly uneven! Trains! Boats! Busses!
She wouldn't reciprocate. The commuting distribution was wildly uneven! Trains! Boats! Busses!
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41points
#69
He mispronounced words. Drove me crazy. Subtle was one of the words. He said SUB til. I just couldn't...
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41points
#70
I once dumped a guy because we were doing the same things every day, like it was an army routine. I saw my life flash before my eyes with all my future days being the same. So, to break the cycle, he had to go.
39points
#71
She left me because I brought flowers and a love letter to her house because we had a pointless fight over text the day prior. Obviously meant as a surprise. When I asked if she's serious she reminded me that she told me 3 months before that she hates surprises and that this was the second strike. 2 years later I realised I dodged a tank shell.
39points
#72
I know someone who broke up with their SO because whenever they took a bite from a fork they would bite down on it while they slid it out of their front teeth. Makes me cringe thinking about it.
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38points
#73
Found out she was banging a friend and smoking crack around our baby daughter.
38points
#74
She had the smelliest upper buttcrack. Its almost as if she would wash her buttcrack with a dirtier buttcrack
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37points
#75
She said she was a big Pink Floyd fan. Later, didn't recognize Pink Floyd on the radio.
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37points
#76
Barbeque sauce. She was from St. Louis and decided that St. Louis style was the ONLY bbq sauce that she would use. I season and smoke a beautiful brisket, and she slathers it with sweet bbq sauce WITHOUT EVEN TRYING IT AS IT WAS INTENDED.
I'm getting angry now.
I'm getting angry now.
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35points
#77
I made a comment about hating the fact that there are security cameras everywhere.
She fired back with the bullshit "nothing to hide, nothing to fear" argument. I knew we weren't meant to be.
She fired back with the bullshit "nothing to hide, nothing to fear" argument. I knew we weren't meant to be.
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35points
#78
Oh, I have so many stories about him but i'm gonna tell the one that was the last drop for me. We were in his room. I was sitting on his bed and at one point i was looking under his bed and i saw bottles filled with something. i asked him what it was but he refused to tell me. I was afraid to ask, but i did it: "is it pee?". It was. Seven big bottles of pee because he was too lazy to walk in to the hall to the bathroom. I can somehow understand laziness, but why keep 7 bottles of pee?!
35points
#79
During sex, her giant dog jumped up on the bed and licked my balls from behind. Freaked me out, and I completely ghosted her after that. We were doing doggy style.
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34points
#80
On a first date we had a coffee then went for a walk at his suggestion to somewhere he liked. We walked for 20 minutes and then he stopped and said thoughtfully, 'I thought we'd sit here.' I turn around expecting a bench, but its just the pavement, and its facing a car park. No second date.
34points