Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#81
She left me because she thought I was going to leave her for another guy. I'm bisexual, and was head over heels in love with her.
34points
#82
She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving.
Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree (that's how she would say it)
Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree (that's how she would say it)
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33points
#83
I was the one got dumped but I was talking on the phone to my then girlfriend and my brother says "what if you take her home, and find out her dick is bigger than yours?" I laughed. She asked me what was so funny and I (like an idiot) told her. She broke up with me as soon as I was done telling her. Thinking back on it, I wonder if my brother was right?
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33points
#84
We ate mushrooms one night in college and we were coming down laying in bed and I realized she had a weird smell about her. I forgot about it, fell asleep, and after a couple more times seeing each other I ended it because the smell was permanent. Her natural aroma. I just couldn't shake it. It was like a combination of poppers and sweaty feet. We weren't a great match anyways but the smell made the choice easy.
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32points
#85
She said one of my dogs was, "kinda ugly."
32points
#86
Met the guy on the Saturday, by the next Saturday I had around 700-800 texts off him, he'd send 10 in the time I'd take to reply once. He blew my phone up constantly to the point where I could hardly carry a conversation with someone else, if I was busy for even an hour I'd find myself having to read 50 texts afterwards!
31points
#87
I once broke up with a girl because she was just so fake. She wouldn't just be REAL. The deal breaker was when she tried to steal my unicorn. I told her she was the worst girlfriend i could ever imagine. My current imaginary girlfriend is much nicer.
31points
#88
We were dating for a week when he took me on a trip to meet his family. Not that big of an issue, I guess. Then at the two week mark, he told me he loved me. Right after he said that, he decided to tell me every minute detail about the texture of his ex's vagina. At the three week mark, he showed up at my house at 4 am and moved all of his stuff in. He stole my house key to do it saying it was a surprise. Oh, and he constantly stole cigarettes from me even though he had asthma.
30points
#89
When she wore heels, she walked like Jar-Jar-Binks. You know what I'm talking about.
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29points
#90
He believes that the earth is flat.
29points
#91
He let his dog defacate inside the house on the carpet. It was still there 4 days later.
29points
#92
She always ordered food, ate half of it, then ate half of mine. Then she would offer to share what she ordered, but I didn't like the stuff she ordered.
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28points
#93
I went out with a girl a few times who was completely normal whenever she was around me, but whenever I saw her with her friends she morphed into one of those weird, screaming, over-excited girls who seem like a flock of chickens. Big turn-off.
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28points
#94
Double negatives.
Constantly.
I tried to help by explaining that it's unnecessary.
She responded, "I don't never do that!"
I closed my eyes as I was leaving.
Constantly.
I tried to help by explaining that it's unnecessary.
She responded, "I don't never do that!"
I closed my eyes as I was leaving.
28points
#95
I asked him to bring a bottle of red wine to go with dinner and he brought Raspberry Arbor Mist.
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27points
#98
Her voice was annoying and when speaking she placed emphasis on the weirdest parts of the sentence.
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27points
#99
This girl was taking too many selfies with me, showing me off to so many people, sexy girl but I felt like a cat.
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27points
#100
After 45 minutes of having sex in the same position, asked if he wanted to change positions. His response? No. We have to stick to the agenda.
27points