Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#41
On our first date, I brought her home. I went to let my dog out for a grand total of five minutes, and she shaved her genitals using my razor. I came back in, went in the bathroom, and it was like a shaving cream bomb went off. Then I noticed my razor, wet with hairs on it. I have a full beard, and hadn't used it in over a week. She then played it off like nothing happened, and there was nothing she felt like telling me.
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71points
#42
She broke up with me because I was & I'm paraphrasing "an unhinged atheist "
Ps I'm just a research scientist.
Ps I'm just a research scientist.
70points
#43
I have two. One guy ate like a t-rex. He would keep his elbows by his side while he ate and leaned over to get his food off his fork. Another guy had no shape to the back of his head. His neck just went straight up. Both named Chris.
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67points
#44
She had the same name as my sister. I liked her and tried, but I just couldn't do it.
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67points
#45
She would always say how much she loved to travel, but has never been outside of California. Retweeting, reblogging, Instagram, everything about her "travels to the grocery store" or "my travels to Yosemite". I ended it cause I said I needed space, last thing she said to me was "good luck on your travels".
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66points
#46
Shallowest reason here but with zero exaggeration - her natural laugh was a bellowing siren that sounded extremely forced and fake. During a normal conversation, this reverse duck call would sporatically ring through the public area causing literal standstills, quickly followed by several groups paying full attention to our table just waiting for the next siren to go off. And it would - with the exact same pitch, volume and length.
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66points
#47
I once had a girlfriend's dad tell his own daughter that she wasn't good enough for me. No shit. The Japanese are brutal.
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66points
#48
She would always make points by asking opposing questions.
For example, "Do I like crunchy peanut butter? No. Do I like creamy peanut butter? Yes."
It happened three or four times a day. And never in a scenario that made sense to be formatted that way. I didn't even break up with her. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her out of fear of having an aneurysm.
For example, "Do I like crunchy peanut butter? No. Do I like creamy peanut butter? Yes."
It happened three or four times a day. And never in a scenario that made sense to be formatted that way. I didn't even break up with her. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her out of fear of having an aneurysm.
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64points
#49
She had lower self esteem than me. No one has lower self esteem than me. NO ONE, JERRY
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58points
#50
He obsessed with Japan and anyone on Earth dares to say anything, even if its true about that country he would gone mad. We once walked in Tokyo (as he insist to visit that country) and we saw loads of prostitutes around. He said those must be women from poorer country, like Vietnam, as Japanese are "too cool for that". and I'm a Vietnamese...so...F'off!
56points
#51
I broke up with a guy because he was forcing me to be a fat, furry characters in our roleplays, even when i told him so many times that I hate these things. That was not the only thing, he even forgot my birthday, flirted with my, under age female friend, and even with my ex. The last drop was when he started me sending fake pictures of his genitals, which were much bigger than his real ones, he then blamed me that I made it all up.
53points
#52
1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn't know our relationships were tied together like that
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52points
#53
i once dated a guy who would occasionally talk on the phone to someone in Spanish who he claimed to be his mother. it turned out to be his girlfriend.
51points
#54
He had been cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend for two weeks because he'd been feeling neglected. I had been enrolled in a therapy group by my doctor for clinical depression and social anxiety. A week later, he tells me he broke up with her and wants me back. I said no. He sent a last resort dick pic. I still said no. The next day, his girlfriend finds me on Facebook and messages me to stop bothering her man. His stupidity was mind boggling. I'm happily single.
49points
#56
I dated a guy I had known since we were kids, but had been years since we had seen each other. The first weekend I spent with him, we went to the bar with his friends. After, we all went to his house to watch some stand-up comedy. At one point he got up, went into the kitchen, pissed in fridge, then proceeded to walk back into the living room where he face-planted/passed out into a deep drunken slumber.
The red flag was his friends told me "Don't worry. He does this all the time"
The red flag was his friends told me "Don't worry. He does this all the time"
48points
#57
I got along with her father, she liked me because I was a rebel. I still miss her dad.
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46points
#58
We were at a dinner party with his friends (another couple) the friends start talking about how it's really difficult to get a decent job with all the migrants. I laugh expecting the joke to be over, it wasn't, he agrees. I'm Mexican I left never saw him again.
46points
#59
She would only eat at restaurants that served Mountain Dew. If they did not, she could/would not eat there.
I kicked that one to the curb quickly and with no hesitation because that's f*cking insane.
I kicked that one to the curb quickly and with no hesitation because that's f*cking insane.
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45points
#60
She called herself "pretty much a psychologist" after taking Psych 1000.
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45points