Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#681
He didn't talk to me for a week. We were in the same calculus and band classes and rode the same bus home. My birthday came and still nothing. I changed my relationship status on facebook and the next day he came up to me and asked why /I/ broke up with /him/.
1point
#682
We were going out for about two weeks when he willingly told me that he was only five inches. Which isn't a problem, it was the fact that he was too afraid to kiss me. I'd go to make the move and he'd shy away. He walked up to me and a friend the next day and I just looked at him without saying a word then proceeded to walk away and we never talked again. I guess we didn't "officially" break up.
1point
#683
He insulted Kendrick Lamar in front of me. That was enough.
1point
#684
One of the scumbags I meet few years ago asked once for a razor gilette to shave his legs to go football ( soccer ) then used all my hair muse and his hair looked like it was licked by a cow then talked to himself in the mirror : I'm pretty - don't I ? Lol
1point
#685
I went ghost on a girl for acting upset on our second date and not opening up to me. If you can't trust me then why are you wasting my time? Weird thing is we had our first kiss on that date and I felt nothing because I was still thinking about how she didn't wanna talk or open up about why she's upset. The free dinner was nice tho.
1point
#686
He cried during the sex...every time! I thought it was about me but then I randomly met his ex and she said that was the very same reason she broke up with him too
1point
#687
I was too perfect for him
1point
#688
I dated a girl who is threesome and can multitask.
1point
#689
I went on a date with a girl whom I found on tinder. We met an evening, watch movies, ate food, roam around in the streets for sometime.. On the way back to my place, we passed a speed breaker and she farted. Not just one, but it was series of farts coming out with each of the hump on the road. I dropped her home and went back to my place. That night I deleted tinder
1point
#690
I once had sex with this girl who once she orgasmed.. she then said 'right I'm done now, you can keep pumping away though'
INSTANT BONER KILLER!
INSTANT BONER KILLER!
1point
#691
I once went out with a guy that wore a 3 piecesuit to the movies. When I asked him why he was wearing it he said "Because it's a date!"
1point
#692
She informed me one day while watching a science program that the earth is only around 7 thousand years old, because the bible says so and no amount of proof that it was older would change her mind. I didn't even finish the program before I was out the door.
1point
#693
We were friends before we started going out. He tried to commit suicide by pills after his last gf broke up with him (sign). We never hung out with my friends only mutual friends from his school. He caught me off guard one day & said he loved me, I said it back and didn't realize until after. Tried to break up with him 2 weeks later & he cried for 2 hours. Ended up breaking up with him online because I was interested in someone else. 2 weeks later he showed up at my school trying to get me back.
1point
#694
Dated this girl, never noticed that she didn't use napkins until we went to this burger place in Galveston. We're eating and I go to grab a napkin, we don't have any on the table so I grab a roll from an empty table. Offer her one and she tells me, "I don't believe in paper towels." Umm...well it's right in front of you, so they do exist. "They harm the environment and if it's not reusable I don't use them." She wiped her mouth and hands on her clothes, biped right out of there.
1point
#695
He broke up with me by not calling for a week, not telling me where he was and when I did my best to make sure he was alive and not in a ditch, told me "you crossed the line when you called my mother to see where I was." 2 years later, he asked me to be his roommate... oh yes, the kicker of it all? He had actually gone out of town to cheat on me. She told him no.
1point
#696
I once dated a guy back in high school who thought the best way to show affection was to kidney shot me every time he saw me. To top it off he told me I wasn't worth the $5 he paid for us to go to the winter formal. Safe to say the relation ship crashed and burned after that. I hear now that he has diabetes, is still and is married to a crazy chick who has cheated on him multiple times and tried to throw their kitten down the stairs because "it was the reason why their relationship had issues"
1point
#697
He was a body builder lmao Mr.Vegas but he took me on broadway to eat n was wearing cowboy boots he got the boot
1point
#698
I was stressed over college, had six exams and 6 make up exams the same month and he was passing everything without even a mild anxiety attack.he was also the teachers pet and kissing up to them, he was their favourite aswell since he was older than any other student and hot. I just couldn't stand him being mr perfect eventhought I knew it was my fault for spending the year procastinating and going out so I told him I needed to focus on my future.I met my next boyfriend at the library that month
0points
#699
me and my best friend were texting each other when she sent me a sex song and since i'm only 13 i think she ruined my childhood memories with a sex song...i never saw my parents the way i used to...
0points
#700
I was seeing a lad who would call me while I was on my way to work/home. Speak to me for the duration. Then text within minutes after hanging up to ask what I was planning on doing for the day/night.
This was every time I travelled to or from work.
I worked 12 hour shifts.
This was every time I travelled to or from work.
I worked 12 hour shifts.
0points