Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#621
While having sex. Apparently she had some stomach issues and let out a massive fart that smelled like death. That wasn't the deal breaker. Shit happens right? About 5 mins later while riding me she let's out another fart. I realized this wasn't a fart when I felt the warm ooze over my junk. She had sprayed liquid poo all over my lap. I was utterly disgusted.
2points
#622
He broke up with me because I showed him a picture of food of Facebook. He stood up and told me "if that's how you feel, it's over." Then left with another girl. This was my freshman year. All i showed him was a relationship post on love.
2points
#623
I once broke up with a guy because of his self-induced health issues. I was caretaker for both of my elderly parents and just couldn't take any more. He called me a cold-hearted bitch.
2points
#624
He was the touchy feely type and I wasn't. He constantly tried to cuddle me in bed, have tickle fights, hold my waist and I hated it, I was never raised in a "cuddly" environment and have been sexually abused in the past so I hated being so intimate.
It only lasted a few months.
2points
#625
Guy i know from work and have spend YEARS flirting with/ hitting on. Well he recently seperated from his soon to be ex wife so we hook up a few times..Apparently his drunken " love you" as I was leaving was enough for him to end our relationship outside of work.
2points
#626
I was hooking up with one of my br There friends, who I had a crush on since I was 14. He would make noise and moan a lot while making me out or having sex. Not like sexy dirty noise and moans. Almost like he was whining. Stopped talking to him and deleted him off of Facebook.
2points
#627
I was 14 and went over to his house for dinner and to hang out. He asked his dad to make gumbo with spicy sausage in it (I can't handle anything spicy), so I bit the bullet and did my best to eat it. Later in the night we were watching a video of something online his head was resting on my lap, and all of a sudden he reaches his hand up to my chest, SQUEEZES my breast, says "Boop!", and then goes right back to watching the video. I was done with him.
2points
#628
So i broke up with her cuz in 3 months : she has no fav food, no fav movie, nothing this and that favourite...Ok, i did put that aside prettending that i dont care. What most upseting are her answers:"xddd" on everything interesting or smart or lovely i wrote to her. Also many others factors like : "im bored in bed"(almost 24/7)... Oh yeah and begging me for attention to give to her and then i wait for up to one hour for her to respond to me with "xddd"
2points
#629
She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).
2points
#630
I asked him not to put his feet in my lap.
He felt the necessary response to my request was to stick his feet in my lap a second time. I kicked him out, and never spoke to him again.
He felt the necessary response to my request was to stick his feet in my lap a second time. I kicked him out, and never spoke to him again.
2points
#631
When I was around 14-15 years old (she was the same age as me), I got dumped in less then 24 hours because her mum told her she wasn't allowed another boyfriend. She broke up with her previous boyfriend the day before she dated me.
2points
#632
In 7th grade I pity dated this guy. Sweet kid, but no chemistry there. He ended up sending me a "suicide email" one day and suddendly dropped off the map! Phone off, Myspace taken down, no longer in school... About 5 years later I get a facebook message from the same guy apologizing for putting me through that and explaining that he'd simply moved away with his military dad without telling ANYONE. Seriously? Who does that?!
2points
#633
She had to fall asleep listening to a specific radio station. Needless to say I couldn't handle the same 10 songs every hour.
2points
#634
I once dated a guy a few years ago. He was ok. We went to my favourite pizza parlor and then we watched a comedy movie. As I was going home he asked out of the blue if I can just book a hotel room. My house is just 30 mins away. I said no. I had enough when he didn't even bother smoking in front of me. All of his second hand smoke is going on my direction. He asked for a second date but I said no.
2points
#635
1st date we went to grand lux cafe. The waitress told him they didn't have any more hot wheat rolls. He shouted oh my God! He then folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them. She started apologizing perfusely to this BIG grown baby. Finally I snapped out of shock and she walked away. #checkPlease
2points
#636
He used to cling to me like a leech constantly wanting kisses. I broke up with him on New Years Eve......now we live together
2points
#637
I had a boyfriend at 16 who would like butt stuff done to him with my finger once of twice i told him i didnt like it and he persisted i still do it he broke up with me bc i wouldnt do that for him and i guess he was mad i didnt bc he started being abusive stayed with him for 8 months i was stupid at that time
2points
#638
He was to dusty.... 6 foot tall man living a lovely small house he left an insane amount of dust everywhere, he also used to clean things dirty! I could not keep cleaning after this twerp
2points
#639
A guy I was interested in getting to know better must have gotten dating advice from his mates and they possibly told him to get a girl home, get naked and play with her pussy cause when he gave me a lift home after going dancing, I was busting to use the ladies room so I raced inside, by the time i got my pantyhose back on successsfully and walked into my loungeroom he was naked, bending over playing with my white kitten. He was shoved out the door in less than a minute. Never saw him again.
2points
#640
My best friend's ex boyfriend bit his toenails and I caught him and she immediately broke up with him!
2points