Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#21
He put A1 all over filet mignon I made him for Valentine's Day. This was not some shit big box filet -- hand cut and selected specially for the occasion by butchers I know.
And he wanted it well done.
Woman's gotta have a code, man.... Some shit ain't right.
And he wanted it well done.
Woman's gotta have a code, man.... Some shit ain't right.
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108points
#22
He was really nice, but when we got to speaking on Facebook and text he could barely spell anything, and didn't find grammar necessary. I felt bad until he called me a bitch.
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104points
#23
I broke up with this guy after going out twice because he ended up having NO sense of humor & I love to laugh. After I broke up with him I started getting multiple phone calls on a daily basis from car dealerships - they would always start the conversation off with "Im sorry but I know Im going to pronounce your name wrong"...followed by names such as: Ms. Cuntarella, Ms. Bitschface & Ms. Fatasse. IM NOT KIDDING YALL. Sad thing is, I laughed SO HARD because damn, thats original!
103points
#24
He ate my lunch while I left to get napkins for him. The only meals I ever really got my junior year was the free lunch provided from the school district for low income families. He didn't know that and assumed it was OK because I usually don't get mad over those kind of things but I was on my period and just got done with stupid standardized testing. So I walked away and never looked back.
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99points
#26
Every time I yawned she thought it hilarious if she stuck her finger in my open mouth. I could never relax…always had to be prepared for oral violation
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93points
#27
I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn't even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked "are you sure? You said you wanted to wait" but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would. Then she dumped me.
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91points
#28
I suspected her of stealing my Pokémon card. Nothing special, just a Pikachu, but damn, when my suspicions settled in, I smashed all ties with her. I miss being 11.
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90points
#29
She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee. Would leave clumps of coffee sugar.
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88points
#30
I had left him in the restaurant because he said that cats are stupid. I asked once again: "So, you're saying that MY cat is stupid???" He said: "Yes ..." I stood up and went away. That was our first (and last!) date.
88points
#32
Was staying at a beachhouse with girlfriend and her family. Outdoor shower. I'm in there fapping up a storm because, I don't know, it felt appropriate at the time. You ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? Turns out you can look down into the shower from the top deck railing and her mom and aunt are laughing it up like little girls watching me operate the dutch rudder. I didn't say a single word to girlfriend, got in my car, drove 3 hours home. Just never called her.
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84points
#33
I met this gorgeous Kenyan girl. Beautiful to put it simply. I took her to a baseball game and things were going well. But she kept referring to the crowd as "the humans" or "you humans". For instance, 3rd inning comes around and so does the wave. Once it passes us, she sits down, laughs and says "You humans have weird customs." This freaked me out. All I could think was if we are the humans... wtf are you?!
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83points
#34
I briefly dated a lady who was very attractive but, I soon learned, probably fell comfortably into the 5th percentile of IQ. I'm from Africa and told her about traditional weddings in my country, where a cow would often be slaughtered in front of the guests, for their consumption. She screwed up her face and said something like "Oh my god, who eats cows?". I looked at her for a moment, and asked "Do you eat beef?". "Yes," came the reply. I got up and left shortly afterwards.
83points
#35
She always said "I don't mind" as the answer to every question put to her. What film do you want to see? What do you want from the chippy? What club do you want to go to tonight? Always "I don't mind" so I would make a choice only to be met with
"ugh, I don't like that. I would rather [insert choice]"
Drove me up the walls.
"ugh, I don't like that. I would rather [insert choice]"
Drove me up the walls.
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82points
#36
He didn't eat anything but potatoes, peanut butter, and ramen. He wasn't a broke college student, just a f*cking picky eater. Nope. Adios.
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78points
#37
She'd wait until she had the bartender's attention and then start to decide what she wanted to drink.
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77points
#38
I had an ex leave me after five years so she could "go be young". About three years later she has two kids and she's divorced.
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77points
#39
I absolutely hate anime. Not shitting on it, that's just my brutally honest opinion. I don't know why, but I just can't stand it. Anyways, I didn't have a problem with her loving anime, but I did have a problem with her forcing me to watch it all the time, saying "I'd grow to like it", but if anything my disliking towards it only grew stronger. We couldn't find something we both wanted to watch, no no, we had to watch anime.
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74points
#40
We got in a fight because he didn't want me drinking green tea. (He was Mormon) I was fine with the Mormonism but he claimed green tea was bad for my health.
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72points