Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#561
He said he wanted to get married and have 3 kids with me and kept asking me when are we going to have sex. We were 14.
3points
#562
His dad literally cornered me. I am a small person, but had never been physically intimidated like that before. The dad then preceded to tell me he knew I was only dating his son for his money.
Said son lived with his parents. I had my own place and was making a lot more than he was.
I told him about the incident and he defended his dad, saying he was just looking out for his only son. Nope!
Said son lived with his parents. I had my own place and was making a lot more than he was.
I told him about the incident and he defended his dad, saying he was just looking out for his only son. Nope!
3points
#563
I once dumped a guy I had been dating for about 3 months because he decided to remodel his kitchen. Because I have experience in painting and doing drywall, he expected me to do the work. I was going to college full time and working 40 hours a week, but sure. Let me remodel your kitchen. But that wasn't all. The kitchen was this gorgeous Victorian era room with original tin ceilings, ceiling-height cupboards, and a slate sink. He wanted a drop ceiling and a stainless steel sink. Unforgivable.
3points
#564
On our first date, she screamed at an old lady and almost got herself arrested. Haven't spoken to her since.
3points
#565
I'm 26, had a crush on a guy since preschool. We met recently at a party, became friends for a month, ended with a big fight. He's the perfect guy, really sweet and all, really likes me. But he has commitment issues and is struggling with his faith. I haven't spoken to him for 2 and a half years. Long story short: never believe a guy when he says he loves you, but keeps saying 'maybe' all the time.
3points
#566
A guy broke up with me because I wouldn't take him and his friends, who I'd never met before, to a car meet..... BYE THEN!
3points
#567
When he tickled me his fingers would dig into my skin and I'd have bruises from it. Dated him a couple times because he really was a good guy but both times the tickles is what killed it
3points
#568
(Not a story so muh about me.) So I met a guy at a halloween party, we were having fun and laughing, he then proceeded to call up his girlfriend and break it off with her. He dragged me outside and pulled his pants down and asked me to sleep with him then and there, not a great person/party...
3points
#569
I once dated a girl for 3 days and within those 3 days I received on the 2nd day a love letter saying she didn't know what she would do without me, and a tin of home made cookies? The reason at the time for breaking up was because I had already been interested in another girl and was dating this girl to make the other one jealous but looking back at it I'm glad I dumped her as I didn't really like her, and she seemed a bit crazy (confessing her love after 2 days)
3points
#570
Always playing the victim, whining about getting over her ex, how she's obviously good because she's a girl but the string of guys she dated are pricks. She didn't live in my town at the time, she was visited friends. But they all got sick of her so she kind of just invited herself in to live at mine, with all her belongings, to have somewhere to stay.
She clearly just saw me as a temp boyfriend until the next one. I ended it. Found out after she did the same with 3 other guys that month.
3points
#571
We were 15, he was play fighting with me, tripped me up and I landed on his balls knee first. He wouldn't talk to me at school the next day so I dumped him.
3points
#572
First boyfriend, we dated over the summer, took me places with this family shopping, long trips, vacation type things. Everything was great until the first day of 8th grade for me, comes up to me and says he's starting football doesn't think he has time for a girlfriend and football fine went home cried my eyes out. Couple weeks later he's got a new chick talk about hurt feelings. Only good thing was the fact that I didnt need a towel after we made out kissed like a drooling dog.
3points
#573
I was with a guy for like nearly 2 years. A few days before our 2 year Anniversary and a few weeks after the year of my aunts death he dumped me only to get with this girl he considered just a friend. They broke up and I decided to give him a second chance. Ended up breaking up with him after he took the crazy chicks side when she threatened to slit my throat. On top of that he cheated on me with her on Valentines day. He was telling me how shit he felt for giving me up when drunk after. Fun.
3points
#574
When I first stayed over at his place where he lives with his parents and brother I walked in on him in the unlocked bathroom. When I brought it up later he acted like nothing happened and said: "We never lock our doors when in the bathroom. We also walk around naked, it's no big deal, we're family."
3points
#575
He took me out to a bar but for some reason he never blinked out looked away! I had the hardest time keeping the conversation going because he would always take about ten seconds to respond to anything and just stare. The most uncomfortable moment of my life after which I never saw him again.
3points
#576
A guy I met at work invited me to eat ice cream and gave me rides home. Didn't think much of it until one day I texted him that I was staying the night at a date's house. He freaked out, asked me how I could do this to him.
I moved to college shortly after and my number changed, we lost contact. But a few month later I receive a birthday card from him, no idea how he got my address! He was over 10 years older than me and had a mustache with a bold spot right under his nose. Blocked and deleted
I moved to college shortly after and my number changed, we lost contact. But a few month later I receive a birthday card from him, no idea how he got my address! He was over 10 years older than me and had a mustache with a bold spot right under his nose. Blocked and deleted
3points
#577
He took my V card and then broke up with me a week later because he "Still loved" his ex. I told him his penis was small. Three failed marriages later for him. Who is the real winner?
3points
#578
She dumped me because I was black, her friends were embarrassed of me , so she dumped me, now she has 3 kids for 3 different men who all ran away. I am soo satisfied.
3points
#579
Although he showered regularly, he refused to use deodorant. By the time the evening came, which was usually when we were intimate, his armpits smelled like cornish pasties. I bought men's deodorant but he didn't take the hint. I dumped him!
3points
#580
I dated this 40 year old guy.
"What do you do with a tampon if you pee, cozz you have to get it out to pee, right?".
Clearing throat/nose and spit it out in public, reason: "if i swallow it, it will just go back to my lungs". His mom told him so.
Too much scents/smells make me nauseous and faint, but he showed up with 50+ scented candles, "to surprise me". He thought i meant perfume, while trying to kiss me after using half a bottle of aftershave.
At least he remembered i like candles.
"What do you do with a tampon if you pee, cozz you have to get it out to pee, right?".
Clearing throat/nose and spit it out in public, reason: "if i swallow it, it will just go back to my lungs". His mom told him so.
Too much scents/smells make me nauseous and faint, but he showed up with 50+ scented candles, "to surprise me". He thought i meant perfume, while trying to kiss me after using half a bottle of aftershave.
At least he remembered i like candles.
3points