Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#421
I dated a guy who looked like a girl and his sister looked like a guy. People shouldn't doubt my sexuality, hence I left him.
4points
#422
He bought gifts for me, that he liked, and kept.
4points
#423
I met up with a girl and her friends one night. She was intoxicated to the point when i said i was exhausted and was going to head home, she cried saying i didnt love her. After i left she texted me 54 times and called me 33 times. She came to my apt knocking for a half hour straight then left.....i watched her walk out of my building from my 4th story window and in front of the building she squatted and pissed for anyone to see....while texting me....again.
4points
#424
Was with him for almost five yrs he blamed me for testicular cancer and not having a prosthetic testicle he also beat me
4points
#425
He shared a post on Facebook that was about how women belong in the kitchen. I explained to him why that was an issue and he refused to listen, he thought it was funny that it offended me. I had him take me home from Panda Express and never talked to him again.
4points
#426
Talked in a low, slow voice like a radio DJ. Did magic tricks for strangers whenever we went out. Told me we couldn't have sex b/c he can only come when he masturbates. Ummm...nope.
4points
#427
Got broken up with because I wanted to have sex all the time .....
4points
#428
She didn't like "The Office." Hepatitis C-ya later!
4points
#429
I once dated a guy who was our company lawyer. He was 6.2ft, super-smart, had a sexy voice (unbelievable!), and always wore those chic hand-tailored power suits. I had a crush on him for months, then I just told him.
Turns out, he felt the same for me. Yaaayy..! Unfortunately, he turned into a needy, clingy man I didn't recognize anymore. He was complimenting me all the time; told me I was too hot to be his GF; I could have any guy...why did I choose him;...
I just couldn't do it... ):
Turns out, he felt the same for me. Yaaayy..! Unfortunately, he turned into a needy, clingy man I didn't recognize anymore. He was complimenting me all the time; told me I was too hot to be his GF; I could have any guy...why did I choose him;...
I just couldn't do it... ):
4points
#430
In high school i always said yes to guys when they asked if i wanted to ve their gf. There was nothing sexual. I just hated being alone. One time a guy in a wheel chair asked me out. He would slap my arm talk loudly and run into the fucking wall! I had enough on day two. So i broke up with him and he didn't stop harassing me until he found another gf.
Shortest relationship ever.
Shortest relationship ever.
4points
#431
I found out the hard way that he had a sleeping fetisch. He had early in the relationship prompted I got an IUD because condoms was a annoyance. So waking up in the morning with spunk on my thights was not so weird I thought. Newyears eve came and with it my period. he got mad about it but later said I should enjoy a glass of bubble even if he was a non-drinker. I woke up choking because he thought it was a good idea to deepthroat me.
I'm usually a hevysleeper and wonder how many times he used me
I'm usually a hevysleeper and wonder how many times he used me
4points
#432
A guy I once dated had a serious drinking problem, not like horrible horrible but enough to get pissed off at everything. He was drinking one night with me at the bar I work at and blew his lid about the locals. Needless to say we broke up. Tried to work things out but for my best friends birthday weekend he got pissed that I was having girl time instead of going to see him. He then began threatening me over this matter, I told him multiple times what I was doing. Nope not happening psycho.
4points
#433
Okay, so I had an ex whose parents smoked heavily at home, I'm asthmatic so I never stayed over. I made an exception for his sisters birthday as his parents agreed not to smoke in the house that day. Fast forward a few days to prom night; he avoides me for hours, refuses to dance, and keeps shooting dirty looks at me. I confront him at the end of the night and basically he acuses me of lying to him about having asthma, bursts into tears, and runs down the road... seriously.
4points
#434
I broke up with my ex because when I had my wisdoms pulled, I wanted her company from the pain I was having during the healing process, she said she couldn't because she had plans that day, after that I found out from my best friend that her best friend told him that my ex said the sex wasn't great. After that I ended it. Later on I finally found out why she couldn't keep me company that day, she was cheating on me with a guy who she dumped 2 months later from that day. I was with her for 3 yrs.
4points
#435
Guy I met online demanded ALL of my time. If I had to cancel plans because I was working (my roommate wasnt working so it was just me and money was tight) he would lose his shit. Telling me I'm a terrible person and a hypocrite. Like yeah no my bills and comfort comes before you dickwad.
4points
#436
We dated a week and he seemed great. One day went were out getting dinner, I ordered a huge plate of nachos with extra meat and cheese. I ran to the bathroom and came back and he had eaten all the good chips with meat on them......yes My food!! He shouldnt have assumed it would be ok. I walked out and never talked to him again.
4points
#437
This had to be our 2nd or 3rd date.... But we decided to walk around the mall before our movie started, when all of a sudden he started counting out loud... I had to ask him twice why he was counting before he said "I'm counting how many guys look at you so I know who to kill." Like What?? Freaking crazy.
4points
#438
I denied and ignored all the red flags for months. Oh, you quit both your jobs and aren't actually looking for a new one? Now you stay the night and spend the days that I'm at work at my apartment? ...Okay. Eventually I realized he was using me to take care of him. The day I snapped I had come home from work and he had drank all the whiskey in my cupboard and smoked the entire 1/8th of weed I'd bought (legally) the day before. He left calling me an addict and saying I needed help.
4points
#439
I dated a guy for a few months, got along pretty well with him, although he was a little socially awkward. He broke up with me out of the blue one day, saying he only wanted to date me so he "could see what it was like to be human for a little bit"...wtf?
4points
#440
She was over at my house while I was home "sick" from school. This was in 9th grade and my parents were both at work.
We were just making out and the family dogs were in the same room which didn't *seem* to bother her, but when I went to get us more iced tea, I heard one of the dogs yelp in pain.
When I went in to see what happened, she said, "The dog got too close to me so I kicked him."
I immediately told her to GTFO!
We were just making out and the family dogs were in the same room which didn't *seem* to bother her, but when I went to get us more iced tea, I heard one of the dogs yelp in pain.
When I went in to see what happened, she said, "The dog got too close to me so I kicked him."
I immediately told her to GTFO!
4points