Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#341
I one dated this guy, I was 18 and he was 27, he got pissed of one day because he wanted to stare into my eyes for long periods of time and it was weird to me. He threatened to tell my mom we were having sex and proceeds to tell me he messaged her. I wanted proof and he said no. He was so weird and clingy. If I checked fb before messaging him he'd call me a bitch. Dodged a major bullet.
5points
#342
This might be shallow but ive been a chef my entire adult life. Met this girl through mutual friends went to an expensive steakhouse like 100 dollars for 2 people not including drinks and appetizer. She precedes to order the most expensive steak on the menu EXTRA WELL DONE. Like tells the waiter if you think its well done cook it longer. Slathers ketchup over everything on her plate. Literally trying not to throw up. I mean come on who orders a 90 day dryaged porterhouse well done
5points
#343
I broke up with him for: He was a bit older than me and would constantly remind me of that fact. I couldn't possible understand something because I'm a little girl (I was 25). Why was the new Star War casting a black man as a lead ("It's a white universe!"). He would drink constantly and mock me when he got drunk. He was absolutely garbage in bed. He would get angry and tell me I was stupid then accuse me of calling him stupid. When I tried to break up, he would cry on his knees. Just... Ugh...
5points
#344
This happened in the late 70's. I borrowed my older brother's Porsche 911. When she saw the car she asked if I was going to get a new car why didn't I get a Trans-Am. Like the bandits.
Very short date, no second one.
Very short date, no second one.
5points
#345
One time I went on a first date with this guy I met working at the exhibition. We end up in this scummy area of the city where he takes me to a park. I question as to why we're there. He proceeds to light a huge joint, green out after a few puffs , vomit cheesies right next to my leg and then fall asleep. I got up and left, avoided him for the remaiming 2 weeks left of the exhibition.
5points
#346
Was dating this guy for a few months, was never interested in more than kissing. One day he saw my birth control pills in my bedroom and asked what they were for. I told him it was birth control and he didn't know what that was. He was 24 years old. Nope.
5points
#347
I once broke up with a guy because hew composed a beautiful love poem for me. To be fair, he wrote it in his own blood. He said it was a love spell to keep us together.
5points
#348
He told me he loved me on our first official date and after only about a week talking...then when I asked him to take me home he refused and drove around for 3 hours. Then he showed up woth flowers the next day to apologize...Needless to say I told him to leave and never talked to him again.
5points
#349
The night after the first time we slept together (which embarrassingly wad the day after we met) he called me to say he couldn't sleep without me by his side and then sang me a love song. The next day his mom started calling me to "check on me" and make me feel like part of the family. Less than a week later he dropped the L word on me... I ghosted.
3 days later he was in a Facebook official relationship.
3 days later he was in a Facebook official relationship.
5points
#350
She told me that she hate System of a Down (my favorite band) and her favorite bands were Avenged Sevenfold and Bring Me The Horizon (two bands I hate).
5points
#351
I found his socks and underwear in my dryer, he didn't live with me.
5points
#352
There's a lot of things he had done that were pretty narcissistic and sociopathic but when he dumped me (After I called him on the phone and his other girlfriend picks up) he said, "I will come back for you after 4 years. When you're more mature and improved. I also just want a baby so I'll get a girl pregnant, take the child and then come back for you." Uhm, no you won't cause I've been long gone, psycho!
5points
#353
She said she didn't like kissing girls. Joke's on her! I'm trans.
5points
#354
I dated a guy for a couple of weeks. He refused to eat any vegetables and was very picky about other things. I knew it wasn't going to work when he strained a jar of Ragu to get the tiny pieces of vegetables out.
5points
#355
I was seeing this older guy for about a year then out of the blue he broke up with me (the day before my birthday). 2 days later he wanted to get back together so I asked why we split in the first place and it was because he didn't buy me a birthday present. No thanks!
5points
#356
I once dated a guy that thought it was funny and cool to do disgusting things and point out gross things making everything awkward. One day he licked his cats eye saying that it was dirty. I started gagging as i said i was done and never talked to him again.
5points
#357
she insisted I try mushrooms. I politely said no thanks. SO she snuck one in my food. I'm allergic. Awkward trip to turn ER. Last time too.
5points
#358
She was convinced I was in love with her ex and was going to cheat on her by having sex with him all the time. I'm straight and hadn't spoken to her ex in over a year. She ended up saying she would stay with me if I admitted my 'undying love' for this dude and that's the point I left.
5points
#359
He scolds me for chasing my dreams, for staying in a location far from him, for donating to charity, ignoring me while out with his friends, blames me for having emotions. Basically scolds me for everything I do
5points
#360
I dated a guy for over a year. During one of our hangout and game days I noticed he was sitting on the couch funny only to realise he was chewing his toenails. He ate any toe junk he found underneath too. Never spoke to him again.
5points