Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#321
He would sneak up and grab my boobs from behind- and make idiotic noises like "beep beep". Oh...and he snored. My toenails curl thinking about him.
5points
#322
Had a gf who broke up with me because her father died. one year later she wanted to be back together. we arranged a date, called her house to check if she was ready. Guess who answered the phone
5points
#323
Met a guy for lunch near my house . When he rocked up , he said he already ate , even though he's the one who suggested lunch . Asked to go for a walk. We ended up at a bus stop , while he sat on his phone . After twenty minutes he got up and said he's gonna go walk to the next bus stop and walked off . Later told me to add pics of my body next time . I told him I was a larger girl , but what's funny is he had a brown tooth and apparently just lost 20 kilos but still had man boobs lol
5points
#324
I broke up with a girl because missionary was the only mover in her repertoire. I was ok with it initially after a few weeks that shit got old. She also started talking nonstop about moving in together i just kind of ignored it. The final straw was her coming over for a booty call after work and the body odor was a complete turn off that i had to recommend an emergency shower after that i couldn't fathom an eternity with a woman whose scent was 10 times worse than mine.
5points
#325
He couldn't pronounce the word Pterodactyl nor hadn't any idea what it was.
5points
#326
She said she thought politics were stupid.
5points
#327
Never really dated the guy, but we chatted once for about 20 minutes. I was a senior in High School, and he played football for a local college. He was nice enough, but I wasn't interested. Next day he starts calling incessantly. I'm talking multiple times a day. Calling my house. My parents answering the phone. I always tried to politely cut the calls short. After about 3 days I told him to cool it. He cried on the phone. Dodged a bullet there.
5points
#328
in you early twenties I broke up with a guy i had just started seeing. IT had been two weeks and sex lasted 30 seconds. That included forplay. I'm sorry... sometimes too early, really is too early!
Never called him again.
Never called him again.
5points
#329
He lived about an hour away by train and I was tired of spending all my money on transportation and then this concert came up with one of my favorite artists and so I decided to spend my money on the concert instead of visiting him. He then aksed me when I was comming to visit and I had to tell him I won't be comming anytime soon, in fact never again.
5points
#330
He had a full beard, but shaved the rest of his body from the neck down. When we finally got naked together I lost it in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
5points
#331
This isn't a break up story so much as its a never even got started story. My friend liked this girl at a coffee shop we always stopped in while walking to work. One day he finally got the courage to ask her out and he was so surprised when she said yes that he told her he was kidding, turned and ran out of the shop. She looked at me and I was just like I don't know. 6 months later, we still walk the long way to work cause he's too embarrassed to walk by that coffee shop
5points
#332
This is her breaking up with me. We dated for a few months. She was going to be a senior in high school and I had graduated the year before. She said she just couldn't go through her senior year being tied down. She had something like 3 abortions that year. Must've been a really fun senior year.
5points
#333
Dated this gorgeous Latina girl. One, I don't like Latinas, and I'm Latino. Well, apparently I forgot our "third month anniversary" and I broke her heart? She forgave me... Then both her and her mom asked me if I watched porn and masterbated to it! She let her mother ask me such a weird question and didn't back me up or something. After that, her mom wanted me to sign a contract to marry her daughter. I was 18 and her daughter was 16. I'm 22 now and haven't dated a Spanish chick since...
5points
#334
In a same sex relationship with a girl who didn't believe in bisexuals. Literally said they were a myth and I was lying to her and trying to be "difficult" to piss her off. Ironically caught her cheating with a guy friend.
5points
#335
She was basically an adult child. She still lived at home, didn't have her driver's license, and refused to eat anything other than macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets.
5points
#336
I was 19 and seeing someone 7 years older then me. We were together about 5 months and it was going well, we saw each other quite regularly. One day we were supposed to meet and he said he had a problem with his car so we didn't (fair enough). That's the last I heard from him til 3 months later. I tried calling and texting so many times with no reply. He said he left because he was falling for me and he was afraid. We didn't get back together because I couldn't trust him after that.
5points
#337
Dated a guy who had an annoying way of making out. He insisted on kissing my teeth. Every time I'd try to kiss him he'd dodge me and make out with my two front teeth instead. Super awkward, had to drop that one.
5points
#338
We were dating only couple of months. Once he had problems with his stomach; he was reading a lot on website's you know 'pain of stomach? you have a CANCER'
He claimed has problems because of stressing him and now he is sick because of me.
It was only reflux, numbskull.
He claimed has problems because of stressing him and now he is sick because of me.
It was only reflux, numbskull.
5points
#339
Didn't even get to dating this guy. Hung out once after bar, talked for a few days. Then he decided to tell me every thing, like total emotional dumping of everything. Stopped talking to him, few months later ruin into him at the bar. He tried to explain my feelings to me, and got pissed when I told him to shut up. Never again with the younger guys.
5points
#340
I was engaged to n man about 20 years my senior.
He worked as an expat in Africa.
One morning at around 05h00 I got a message: "Mam, why is my daddy ignoring us?"
Turns out he was married before and had 2 kids he never told me of.
He worked as an expat in Africa.
One morning at around 05h00 I got a message: "Mam, why is my daddy ignoring us?"
Turns out he was married before and had 2 kids he never told me of.
5points