Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#301
I had a fling with a girl for a few weeks last year. As we kept hanging out, I started getting messages from her mom and sister. They tons me she had run away from home, stolen their car and that the name I caked her by wasn't even her real name. Also turned out she was trying to get pregnant so she could trap me. After ending it, showed up at 1 am with cookies to get me back. I declined. She threw them. Room mate ate them and had a horrible case of the shits. Good times...
6points
#302
I dated this girl who took a big dump in my toilet. It was the biggest I have ever seen.... that's right, she didn't flush, she showed me. I was intimidated and scared and f**king grossed out.
6points
#303
Had a girlfriend who acted innocent and sweet for a really long time. Once we started saying I love you to each other she revealed that she was a prostitute who like bondage and a bunch of old men. That ended anything I ever had for her.
6points
#304
I went on a coffee date once with a girl who seemed a little off....then she told me in conversation how she had a room in her house that she let her dogs go to the bathroom in so she didnt have to take them out all the time. Quickest cup of coffee ive ever had.
6points
#305
Went out one night with a guy I dated for pizza and beer. We went back to my place to fool around. I excused myself to use the restroom when I returned to my room there was vomit everywhere...i asked if he was ok he said yes so I asked him to clean up his mess but he refused. So of course I dumped him that evening.
6points
#306
Broke up with the older guy I was seeing because he went crazy.. He was all fine and lovely but afew months in he started to go weird. He thought the world was ending and would spend all day in the dark you tubing conspiracy videos. He started to make legit list and plans but when he said my fur baby (a black lab) would have to learn to like the taste of blood and would have to have his teeth sharpened I put my foot down and got the hell out. #survied #loco #saywhat
6points
#307
He wouldnt ever brush his teeth! I even would say "I'm bored lets go brush our teeth" he would have some reason that he couldnt.... soo grossss
6points
#308
Met him at a club (my place of work at the time) seemed very nice. Went for a date He said he needed to go back to his, would I come with him for a time so he could get hiself a clean pair of trousers (should really have been my first indicator). His flat was filthy, he smoked a spliff even though I told him I wasn't into that and then threw his cat against the wall. Needless to say I never went with him again.
6points
#309
Had to end when he would squeeze spots out of his face at the meal table , line the findings up on the cutlery and stare at it to see if it moved!!! Yes he still used the cutlery .....ugh
6points
#310
We were in 10th grade, and he cheated on our chemistry test. Dishonesty? Always a deal breaker. Good job 15 year old me.
6points
#311
She bought me a sweater and showed up at my work to give it to me. We had only been dating for a week or so.
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5points
#312
Anytime a cat walked into her line of sight (we're lesbians, there's always a cat around), she would go 'kitty!' Didn't matter if she was in the middle of saying something or if I was talking about something. It just popped out of her mouth. I couldn't handle it.
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5points
#315
Once I had met a boy at a local bar, I was looking for a new rent and he offered me the other room in his place. We got drunk and have a one night stand in his room. In the morning I woke up to his smell... till this point I did not realize this extremely salty smell. I went home and we continued the conversation on facebook. Soon he came out: he is in love vith me so bad. ILater he confessed, that was his strategy to frighten off girls. It worked.
5points
#316
I broke up with a guy cuz his eyelashes were super long like Everytime we kissed I could feel them on my cheeks like a butterflies wings, another guy wore socks with his sandles I just couldn't handle that.
5points
#317
One time he willing compared himself to American pyscho... he liked to look at himself in the mirror during sex and moisturised daily
5points
#318
My ex-husband broke up with me because I had no more libido after a few years (I was depressed and was struggling with mental illness the whole time we knew each other.) I also hid the fact that I had started smoking again. When he found out he said I should have asked him if it was ok. So I did. And he said no, it was not okay with him. Like, I should stop because he didn't like it. Something about that didn't sit well with me. Next boyfriend couldn't handle mental illness. I'm single now.
5points
#319
He gave my left overs away. Not to a needy person or anything... just to some guy in our dorm. Didn't even bother to ask smh
5points
#320
For my birthday she gave me a mint Janis Joplin record and tickets to see Live at the Parc. I couldn't be happier!
Night of the concert, as we walked into the Parc, Live starts playing 'Lightning Crashes' stopping me in my tracks to listen to it. I find it one of the most intense, emotional songs. She starts talking to me and I asked her "please not now'. She continued anyway, even after a few of my beggings. I broke up on our way home...
Night of the concert, as we walked into the Parc, Live starts playing 'Lightning Crashes' stopping me in my tracks to listen to it. I find it one of the most intense, emotional songs. She starts talking to me and I asked her "please not now'. She continued anyway, even after a few of my beggings. I broke up on our way home...
5points