Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#281
We went to a burger shack and ordered two burgers. Both arrived at the same time, and he reached out to my plate and took the first bite out of MY BURGER! I said: "You're the worst person I know in my entire life" and never look back.
6points
#282
So, I broke up with a guy because we had a fight over which team would win the IPL (it was so not a big deal, but became one) and instead of just waiting it out and letting the best team win he kept insulting the team I liked.
My team did win the finals #BitchSlap
6points
#283
I went on a date with with guy who ended up getting so wasted that he shot a snot rocket in the middle of the bar on to the floor, he then proceeded to pick up his booger and try to wipe it on another guys face almost getting beat up in the process. I left 10 minutes later.
6points
#284
Multitude of errors here:
1) Alls. As in "Alls I said was...) NOPE
2) came like he was performing in a porn. NOPE
3) used a John Hughes movie plot line (Pretty in Pink) as his own to explain his social woes -- thinking I wouldn't know what was up. As a child of the 80s I found this hysterical and offensive. NOPE
1) Alls. As in "Alls I said was...) NOPE
2) came like he was performing in a porn. NOPE
3) used a John Hughes movie plot line (Pretty in Pink) as his own to explain his social woes -- thinking I wouldn't know what was up. As a child of the 80s I found this hysterical and offensive. NOPE
6points
#285
My ex-husband left me because his mother told him to. He went to hide out in her house and sent me a message on Facebook saying he wanted a divorce... so classy...
6points
#286
Dated one guy for about 8 months who had the most obnoxious laugh and would randomly say phrases from movies and video games throughout the day. We'd be mid-conversation and he'd suddenly go "Metal Gear!" In a deep voice. Didn't break up with him for these things specifically, but they certainly added to it.
6points
#287
He wanted me to quit my job & "let him take care of you". I had a better job & made more money then him. He wanted to make me dependant on him. I didn't of course & he said I wasn't available enough to him, started a long string of fights. He really just wanted another mommy though.
HE ended up breaking up with me so he could date his drug dealer's fat sister who already had 2 kids. Four months later he calls to lament how she is pregnant & had dumped him. She ended up getting an abortion.
HE ended up breaking up with me so he could date his drug dealer's fat sister who already had 2 kids. Four months later he calls to lament how she is pregnant & had dumped him. She ended up getting an abortion.
6points
#288
He prefered sweet over spicy. I'm talking food and generally. Whenever we were at it and I tried to get naughty, he just said "You're looking for trouble" yet trouble was nowhere to be found.
Boooooring.
Boooooring.
6points
#289
Me and this girl took a break after a year together because family didn't want us together. Few months go by and she wants to try again and see if it will work out. Didn't even last three days before she said she wanted me to get "tested" because she didn't believe me when I said I didnt date anyone else. Ended it right then and there.
6points
#290
My ex broke up with me because he didn't want kids. I'm infertile
6points
#291
I recently broke up with a guy I'd been with for 11 years. This was the 3rd and last time. After the 2nd time, he promised to quit drinking and he did. Unfortunately, he's an even bigger asshole when he's sober. Got mad because we dropped a tree he'd been talking about doing for 3 years. He's never home and complained nothing was getting done. This year we started doing stuff and he got pissed because we didn't "consult" with him. I think he's going through "Manopause" because nothing suited him
6points
#292
Someone actually broke up with me because Jesus told him too lol
6points
#293
I dated a guy that lived in another state for a couple of months. I work the night shift and would drive 8 hours to see him on the weekends. It was all good for the first month or so but then he would start saying things like you don't really like me do you? Or he would disappear for literally days at a time and then be upset if I questioned him about it. When I spoke to his sister she said oh he must be off of his medications. He was bipolar and it was like dating two different people
6points
#294
In highschool, my bf at the time came to see me at my boarding school. It wasn't the weekend yet, and he didn't have a place to stay. I insisted on him staying with my sister who was an hour drive away. A week later, my sister calls me and tells me that they did the 'dirty deed' at her place. I didn't believe her, until HE told me OVER TEXT. TWO weeks later.
6points
#295
He let his younger brother call me mum. Nope.
6points
#296
I was seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and we were just hanging out lying on my bed talking and then all of a sudden he started dry humping my leg like a dog. Even made dog noises panting with his tongue out! Needless to say I was not amused and didn't see him again!
6points
#297
I'm Australian, he's Afghan. His parents refuse to accept me and will disown him if he didn't break up with me :(
6points
#298
This was while he was working as a heavy duty tow truck driver. I rode with him for the day and he had to go after we dropped off a truck to the yard, he goes behind the building and comes back excited and says he has to show me something, he brings me through the yard to the back of the building to show me his pile of sh**! Like he was proud of it or something! Before this, while we were at his place, he would "forget" to flush, I didn't realize it was intentional. Gross.
6points
#299
I once broke up with a woman who had no job and (seemingly) no income. She takes me and my daughters out to breakfast and pays with cash. I asked her where she got the money. She nonchalantly says, "I sold some of your prescription pills last night." A drug dealer? Not in My house.
6points
#300
He was a big child. Lived at home with his mom at 35. Couldnt kiss at all! When i broke it off he started crying and put his mom on the phone to talk me out of it.
6points