Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#261
I had orders to afghanistan. She asked if she could visit me there. I told her it was a war torn country, so she asked if we could just meet up on the weekends in a neighboring country. I told her not a chance. She told me to quit my job in the military so we could move to the mountains, live off the land, and raise children.
7points
#262
He didn't like giving but love receiving.
Every time we had sex he would say "don't be mad if I cum quick"
He didn't like foreplay either, he'd just stick his dick in me and assume it was comfortable. Then after 2 minutes of lousy performance he'd get off and fall asleep.no orgasim of me, after the second time I avoided sex with him and broke up with him a week later
Every time we had sex he would say "don't be mad if I cum quick"
He didn't like foreplay either, he'd just stick his dick in me and assume it was comfortable. Then after 2 minutes of lousy performance he'd get off and fall asleep.no orgasim of me, after the second time I avoided sex with him and broke up with him a week later
7points
#263
First date we went bowling. He annoyingly made a big deal about me beating him. Second date we went skating. He fell and said I was a bad person for not turning around to go back and pick him up. He waited to take me to dinner for the third date because "at least I can't beat him at that" . I'm, nope. Didn't realize it was a competition. I ghosted him.
7points
#264
A boyfriend in high school that I dated was drunk at my house while I had a house party. He got so sloppy drunk he could barely stand. Well, the lightweight went to go pee in the bathroom and I heard a commotion so I went in to see what was going on. Turns out while he was trying to piss with his pants fallen to his ankles, he pushed out a sloppy wet shart ALL OVER the bathroom wall behind him. He was attempting to clean it up with the hand towel but it was clumpy and corny. BYE BYE!
7points
#265
We lived two hours apart, he didn't have a car and lived with his mom so I would drive down once a week and bring him back to my place overnight. He would bitch at me for smoking in my car, and then put chew in his mouth and spit into an empty bottle like a fucking heathen. He would do it in my apartment too and every time I took the trash out it smelled like mint chew spit. The last straw was when he left a spit bottle in my car and didn't close it all the way. Had to deep clean my carpets.
7points
#266
While going down on him, I smelled his pre-ejaculate and it stank! Couldn't have sex with him after that.
7points
#267
We went on our first date to a semi-fancy restraunt. I of course paid. She wanted wine i said ok but i dont really drink. She proceeded to order a whole bottle, $60, and drank the whole thing herself. I drive her home and she wanted me to come inside for "desserts". I declined, she was plastered and barely lucid. I decided to give her a second chance. She told me over diner that we were third cousins, and named the connection. She then said that she was still interested if i was......
7points
#268
Met a guy online, really sweet and funny. Eventually met, his picture was obv old! He wasn't as cute n he was roughly 3- 4 stone heavier (which wouldn't bother me, but heads up). 1st date, went for coffee, wen the bill came he said oh BTW, im really short, are u OK to get this. Any time we met, i went to his and bought everything. Train and a trek! On leaving was always dark, never once offered to walk to the station (thru a bad area too) bye bye!!!
7points
#269
We passed by the Berlin Zoo wall that is picturing a heard of rhinos. He said those were hippos and he wasn't joking. He was born in Germany and both of his parents are African. He couln't tell the difference between rhinos and hippos. I broke up with him that evening.
7points
#270
In high school, my boyfriend dumped me out of the blue. He told me it was because I made him feel like a Half Elf. I still have no idea what that means and neither did he when I asked him a decade later.
7points
#271
He actually broke up with me but I dodged a bullet. I had a pregnancy scare and he ghosted for a couple months, he was constantly flirting with other girls, and he eventually moved away and married the girl he told me was "just a friend" after getting her pregnant. Yeah, I'm onto better things.
7points
#272
Was dating this girl for a few days, she texted me from her mother phone because her's was broken or something. Anyway, the Saturday I was on my way to a family function when her mother called me, accusing me of kidnapping her daughter. Turns out she went to a party and used me as an excuse.
7points
#273
Whenever I wanted to spend some time with my family, he would always say "so you love your family more than me?".
7points
#274
It was my junior year, my ex said he was going to get my named tattooed on him, I laughed it off and told him I would break up with him if he did that. The next week we were together on a trip he was wearing shorts and sure enough on the back of his calf was my name. We were dating for a month. I broke it off when I saw it. He was nuts. To top it off four years later he messaged me right before his wedding and said he was still in love with me.
7points
#275
He asked to wear his deceased wife's lingerie and had started introducing me as the new "her"!!!!
7points
#276
I got dumped, because I spun out on black ice coming home from work party. I came home crying and bleeding with a concussion. When he saw the damage to my car he said at that moment he "knew it was over". Oh, did I mention he lived with me for three years and never helped pay one single bill? He also said the fact that i was never home was part of the reason he was leaving. I worked two full time jobs to support his lazy ass. Him leaving was the best thing to ever happen to me.
7points
#277
She used to Fast Forward through the opening credits of Game Of Thrones.
6points
#278
She married and divorced young, had twin boys, and one died of SIDS. That was OK. What wasn't OK was her having her 5 year old son (the surviving twin) call her by her first name.
6points
#279
I once dated a girl who didn't belive in Jesus, but also didn't belive in eveloution.. she would just say that we just are, we appeared and humans and plants and animals just always have been.. we would argue on this one topic for weeks untill I eventually broke it off!
6points
#280
I agreed go out with a guy when I was 17, as soon as I said yes he started saying he was going buy me a new phone (he said mine wasn't good enough) that soon became him saying he was going to marry me and kids etc, he didn't go my college but turned up to every break, texted and rang me constantly, actually got an ex who was on my course to end it for me, he came back in half hour later telling me the guy had been crying on his shoulder saying he loved me, (we went out for a WEEK)
6points