Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#221
The sex was tragically bad. I tried 3 times. First time, I could tell he wasn't interested in my pleasure so I "lent a hand" and got myself off. No biggie, right? I chalked it up to first-time jitters. Second time, I took a hands-off approach and gave him a chance to redeem himself. He left me hanging. Third time, I resigned myself to taking control of my own pleasure, but he reached down and pulled my hand away, finished, and then laughed at me. I was so stunned I ghosted him the next day.
10points
#222
I was dating a guy once who decided that in order for our relationship to go to the next level, I needed to be comfortable peeing in front of him. he was very insistent about it and me being very modest I was very insistent on not I told him to get his jacket we were leaving my house and he wanted to know where we were going. I told him that we were done and on my way taking him home he threatened to jump at 65 miles an hour if I didn't stop to talk it out. Go ahead and jump
10points
#223
My then boyfriend got fat and was insecure about it. His sollution was making others feel bad. On my birthday he said I shouldn't eat my birthday cake because I should be getting my body ready for summer. The cake stayed, he went.
10points
#224
We were on a date in the city, walking to our destinations throughout the day. Let me just say that in the start of the day he asked if he could put his drinks in my back pack so he didn't have to hold them all day, I have scoliosis and I say no so he just drinks them. Fast forward to afternoon after a lot of walking and awkward/inconsiderate conversations, and he tries to kick a pigeon that landed on the sidewalk in front of him. RUDE.
Yes, I ended it because he tried to kick a pigeon.
Yes, I ended it because he tried to kick a pigeon.
10points
#225
When my younger brother was in college he broke up with a girl for "cutting into his gaming time"
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9points
#227
He broke up with me because I was an intelligent model who was going to college in my free time. He said that he couldn't complete with any guy that came my way so why bother. 😒
9points
#228
During the three months we were dating, he called me by my name exactly once
9points
#229
I had a secret crush on this guy for over 3 yrs but never made a move cause it scared the shit out of me liking someone so much. He never knew that until I finally made my move and he was so happy at first but I convinced myself he is to good to be true and is full of shit and and started treating him like shit for no reason whatsoever. He was so nice he kept up with my shit 4 months and then finally had enough and ghosted me. I still have the crush on him and now realize I've been an idiot.
9points
#230
An ex broke up with me because I used words he couldn't understand... I am smart but I try not to be obnoxious. I don't remember what word it actually was, however, I joke that it was words like- trust, love, fidelity.."
9points
#231
The first time I went to his parents house I overheard his mother say to him, so she's your latest victim? she seems much more mentally pliable than your last conquest, hopefully you'll have better luck this time.
Has to be the creepiest thing i've ever heard anyone say in real life.
Has to be the creepiest thing i've ever heard anyone say in real life.
9points
#232
When she was thisty, she would take a sip of water from the glass, lower the glass, move the water around in her mouth, then sallow. Repeat that for like 10 times until she drank all the water. Drove me motherf*cking nuts watching her do that, she even did it when she was super thirsty.
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8points
#233
When making tea, she didn't stir it, but clanked the spoon noisily against each side of the cup repeatedly.
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8points
#234
I once broke up with a guy because he legit thought he was a dragon. I was half tunned out on the phone since he called when sailor moon was on. He started up with this "Im a dragon and you're a dragon. We're both dragons and that's why we get along so well". I wasn't paying to much attention but when he brought be a dragon pendant to school the next day, that was pretty much it.
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8points
#235
Kindergarten: He proposed with a grape candy ring. It tasted like Advil.
8points
#236
He took me to his favorite restaurant, Red Robin, and half way through his beer started crying about his dead ex-girlfriend.
8points
#237
his penis was smaller than a tampon
8points
#238
My ex had an ex that thought she was legit a wolf. She told him she was going to change him. Later found out he was cheating on me with her. I laughed and left.
8points
#239
He once compared himself to lion and the rest of the world as sheep. He was the lion because he was brave, majestic and didn't 'go with the heard'
8points
#240
He kept saying "honesty speaking" and kept interchanging the pronunciation of his p's, f's, v's and b's.
"Can you flease fut the fafer in that tavle?"
"I want to eat prench pries"
"Your shirt is bery fink"
"Can you flease fut the fafer in that tavle?"
"I want to eat prench pries"
"Your shirt is bery fink"
Drives me nuts.
8points