Do you want a girl who walks like a T-Rex? Maybe you're looking for somebody who chews so loudly that you'll feel like you're dating the Cookie Monster? Or perhaps you want a partner who applies mustard to fries by squeezing it into their hand and then smearing it all over their food? Well if you said yes to any of the above, then you're in luck because as you can see from this hilarious list of reasons that people deserved a breaking up for, all of these folks are currently leading a single life!
Compiled by Bored Panda, the stories below contain some of the funniest and most bizarre reasons that people have decided breaking up with somebody. It also includes some legendary breaking up quotes that you could definitely use as your own if need be. Let us know which one of the 'reasons why' is the best, and if you've had a funny or odd story ending a relationship then don't forget to add it to the list below! And if browsing through this list, you'll think that being single forever is the way to go, don't worry as there's always a weirdo just for you!
#201
One evening we were out for a drink. We're mid conversation (I'm mid-sentence) and he interrupts me to rap along to the song playing in the background. I had to wait for the song to finish before he would continue talking to me. It was an awkward few minutes.
I overlooked it at first (he may have just really loved that song) until it happened on 2 more separate occasions.
I overlooked it at first (he may have just really loved that song) until it happened on 2 more separate occasions.
12points
#202
Dated a guy in high school for a couple of months. Ended it because his mother tried to say we were having sex and I was a bad influence. I was a virgin and remained so until I was out of college 7 years later
12points
#203
I met a guy at a party, and he took me outside to talk with me and all he wanted to do was get me to speak French to him. He didnt't speak French, but thought it was a romantic language. I told him "I like climbing trees".
12points
#204
I was the one who was broken up with. I was a sophomore in H.S and he was a Senior. I was still a virgin, he pulled his car into a cornfield and tried getting me to have sex with him. Logically I refused cause well we were in a car in a cornfield. He then slept with another girl and called me afterwards breaking up with me.
12points
#205
Once dated a guy that everytime I went to his house, he'd tell me everywhere that he banged his most recent ex.
Spolier: it was pretty much 90% of the house indoors and out.
12points
#206
Dated a guy for almost 2 years.when he finally had a day off we went to the beach, on the way out there he bought me a pickle.. well to me a pickle is not really beach food, so i didnt eat it then on the way home, we stopped to get food he noticed i didnt eat the pickle got pissed threw it on the roof of the place we had stopped at, i didnt even notice he did it till we got down the road and he told me. needless to say the argument continued and i left the next day, who gets mad at that ?
12points
#207
One day I realized she looked like Paul Dano and I couldn't unsee it. That was it.
Report
11points
#208
He would literally forget about me. I was always waiting for at least 30 minutes at the place to be, then I called him and he was like "yeah I forgot sorry." Besides that he never texted me first (or texted back besides the 'lol' 'ok' kinda answers). Couldn't handle that.
11points
#209
He wanted us to crap in a bucket and use it for compost because "pissing and shitting in our own drinking water is barbaric." He was also building a mirrored dish to use the sun to heat rocks in to replace our furnace. We live in Utah.
11points
#210
I went on a date with with guy who ended up getting so wasted that he shot a snot rocket in the middle of the bar on to the floor, he then proceeded to pick up his booger and try to wipe it on another guys face almost getting beat up in the process. I left 10 minutes later.
11points
#211
He watched the Teletubbies to fall asleep. He was 37.
11points
#212
Ex fiancée and i took a trip to McDonald's where he ordered 2 quarter pounders and 20 nuggets, I got two double cheese burgers (one for later) shovelled his food down then I popped to the toilet, we go home, go for my other cheese burger a little later and he tels me "oh, I ate it when you went to the toilet in McDonalds!"
10points
#213
I found out through a mutual friend that she had BURNED A HOLE into a woman's arm, easily 2nd degree. A woman she considered to be her best friend. What pissed me off even more is that she tried to act like it was nothing. I have friends and family in law enforcement, so I was able to find out that somehow she was not called in. This tells me that she was a private residence, and there was a good chance the other woman's young daughter saw everything...
10points
#214
He said he didn't like my cat.
10points
#215
He listens only to his friends, my opinions don't matter.
10points
#216
Long story short, his friend ended up calling the police on him for trying to kill himself by jumping into oncoming traffic.
A few days later, I went to visit him at the mental hospital with his mom. The two of us stopped for lunch first where she told me "I know you two aren't going to end up staying together forever, would you mind breaking it off while he's in the mental hospital? It'd be better that way."
Well.. That wasn't my plan, but I loved his mom. So I did.
A few days later, I went to visit him at the mental hospital with his mom. The two of us stopped for lunch first where she told me "I know you two aren't going to end up staying together forever, would you mind breaking it off while he's in the mental hospital? It'd be better that way."
Well.. That wasn't my plan, but I loved his mom. So I did.
10points
#217
He broke up with me because he read an article in Thought Catalog that told him I wasn't "the one".
10points
#218
I ghosted because he would get so drunk he would fall asleep during sex. When he saw me a few years later he told me I "done him wrong" can't say how glad I am to have moped the hell out of there!
10points
#219
He spoke in memes.
MEMES.
If I happened to use a word in a sentence that was anywhere in any meme, he'd repeat the meme. If he wanted to communicate with me at all, it would be in meme form, tied in to a meme somehow, have a meme picture on it in a text or it would end with a meme.
MEMES.
If I happened to use a word in a sentence that was anywhere in any meme, he'd repeat the meme. If he wanted to communicate with me at all, it would be in meme form, tied in to a meme somehow, have a meme picture on it in a text or it would end with a meme.
He would also change everyone's name and rhyme it with 'goose'.
I couldn't introduce him to anyone.
By the time I was done with his shit I just wanted to shake him until his nose bled.
I couldn't introduce him to anyone.
By the time I was done with his shit I just wanted to shake him until his nose bled.
10points
#220
I had sex for the first time with a guy I was dating, he lasted TWO pumps. I nick named him..Two Pump Chump.
Second time he lasted THREE pumps, new nick name..Three Hump Chump.
There was never a third try!
Second time he lasted THREE pumps, new nick name..Three Hump Chump.
There was never a third try!
10points