From the moment you come into this world, there is this thing that happens around you that can sometimes be delightful but at times drives you crazy or leaves you completely baffled. You know, life. And if you find yourself in the middle of an experience that leaves you with more questions than answers, it’s absolutely okay to ask for advice.
Did you know that giving good advice is actually as much of an art (or science) as any other job? It’s not only about knowing things but also being able to find the right words of advice. But on the other hand, even after you have received the best piece of advice possible, it doesn’t automatically imply you are obliged to follow it.
It doesn’t matter how experienced the person giving advice is or how well they know you; if whatever they say you should do doesn’t sit right with you, you probably should follow your gut. And don’t even get me started on people who think they are authorized to share their life wisdom with you “just because,” even though the words “I need advice” have never left your lips.
Advice doesn’t always have to be serious or life-changing. Sometimes funny life advice about random situations is the best thing you need. There are a lot of unexpected things in life, and advice that not only makes you chuckle, but all of a sudden comes in handy is surely useful.
For this article, we have collected a bunch of funny quotes about life and pieces of advice for all sorts of situations. Which one do you find the most useful? If you have any funny words of wisdom to add to this collection, share them with us in the comments.
#41 Cold hands, worse decisions
Never walk on the ice with your hands in your pockets.
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#42 Instant Regret: The Sneezing Contract
The first time your toddler sneezes in your face, even if it is super funny when it happens, do not laugh. You will be sentencing yourself to years of purposeful in-your-face sneezes.
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#43 Blink twice if you’re in on this
If your dog blinks at you blink back. It could be a code.
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#44 Sorry, that’s on them not you
Don’t be ashamed of yourself — that’s a job for your parents.
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#45 Bowl Licking Isn’t A Personality Trait
Don't lick the bowl, flush it like a normal person.
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#46 Therapy, but make it terrible
Listen to really bad music when going through something terrible in your life. If you listen to music you love, it will become a constant reminder of bad times.
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#47 Senior dating sites are a hard pass
If you’re in 12th grade, do not join senior dating sites.
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#48 Smart enough to doubt yourself
Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘would an idiot do that?’ if they would, I do not do that thing.
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#49 Nothing says passive-aggressive like air quotes
When you want to annoy someone at work, use air quotes when addressing their work title.
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#50 Not how physics works, Karen
Oil floats on water, so cover yourself in oil, wait for it to rain, and fly.
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#51 Peak Self-Preservation Logic
If you’re being chased, give the person who’s chasing you a pair of scissors because you can’t run with scissors.
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#52 Wish smarter, not harder
If you can't wish for more wishes, then wish for more genies.
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#53 Trust your toes first
Never test the depth of a river with both feet.
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#54 Procrastinators, Rejoice!
The early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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#55 Stealing Punchlines Since Forever
Never joke with a kleptomaniac, they will take it, literally.
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#56 Parenting Level: Expert Drama Queen
When your kids start crying, start bawling bigger and better. Soon, they will stop crying & turn their concerns to your welfare.
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#57 Brighter Than Your Phone, Trust Me
No flashlight on your phone? Take a photo of the sun, and use it in the dark.
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#58 Think bigger, win her heart
If she asks for four chicken nuggets, buy ten. This is how you get and keep a girlfriend.
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#59 Broke but Still Trippin’
If you can’t afford virtual reality headsets, you can close your eyes and imagine everything you want.
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#60 Strategy: Mastering the Art of Deterrence
If you don't want someone to ask you to do something again, do it terribly the first time.
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