Remember the movie Police Academy? If yes, you can just skip right to our selection of police jokes because you already know what to expect from them! If not, keep on reading, and we’ll tell you all about it.
First off, these cop jokes aren’t a sort of mockery - this has been done many times before, and we’re not willing to continue with the tradition. Instead, these police officer jokes are mainly based on situational comedy because, let’s admit it - being a law enforcement professional gets you into predicaments unmatched by any other occupation. And this will be the basis of our funny jokes about police. Well, okay, maybe a couple of police dad jokes about doughnuts, but that’s it, you have our promise. Next to these sorts of funny cop jokes, there are also jokes for police officers - something they might find relatable or painfully true.
So, our selection of police officer jokes begins with just a scroll down below - you should definitely check them out. Once you’re done reading, be sure to give the best jokes your vote! And after that, you might want to share these cop jokes with your friends, too.
#41
What do you call a female police officer playing guitar?
She-riff.
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#42
How do police officers greet people?
Policed to meet you!
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#43
Why did the police raid the pet shop?
They were looking for the cat burglar!
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#44
Why were the police at the beach?
They suspected a crime wave!
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#45
How did the hacker get away from the police?
He ransomware.
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#46
What’s the difference between a velociraptor and a police officer?
The velociraptor can open doors.
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#47

"A mime in my town was arrested by the police after he broke his left hand in a bar fight. He still... has the right to remain silent."
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#48
Police responded to a reported burglary at Tesla’s robotics lab. It was an Optimus crime.
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#49
A police man stops a miner for speeding on the highway.
Police man: "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"
Miner: "Mine."
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#50
A blonde accidentally kills a police officer and calls the police:
"Hello, is this 911?"
"Yes, what is your emergency?"
"I called to inform you that you're 910 now."
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#51

"The other day I got pulled over by a police offcer. When he walked up, I pulled out my 9mm... once he stopped laughing, he wrote me up for indecent exposure..."
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#52
An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.
He says: "Have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The officer replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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#53
A drunk guy walks out of a bar.
There's a police officer outside who asks him, "What's your name, son?"
The drunk guys answers, "I'm Jesus Christ!"
Police officer says, "You are not Jesus Christ. What's your name?"
Drunk guy replies, "I'll prove it. Follow me." The police officer follows him back into the bar.
As they enter, the bartender yells, "Jesus Christ! Are you back again?!"
Drunk guys turns to police officer and says, "See?"
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#54
Man got pulled over in the carpool lane.
Police officer: "Where's your passenger?"
Man: "Due to social distancing they're in the car behind me."
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#55
A police officer pulled over a spanish photon.
The police officer asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The photon said, "C."
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#56
A college professor is driving home drunk one Saturday night. When he gets pulled over. The police officer comes up to his window and asks him:
"Excuse me sir, you were speeding, you ran a red light and you appear to be drunk, where are you going?"
The professor replies: "I am currently on my way to a lecture concerning the dangers of drinking, smoking and staying up late."
The police officer says: "Who could possibly be giving that kind of lecture at this time?"
The professor responds: "My wife."
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#57

Me: "It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up."
Police officer: "That's not how sobriety tests work."
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#58

"A police officer looked at my driver's license and said I should be wearing glasses, so I told him I had contacts. But he didn't care who I knew and he gave me a ticket anyway."
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#59
What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed?
An under cover officer.
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#60
A man is taking his son to buy his first car. The son spots an old, used police officer car at one of the lots. "Dad! I want that! It would be so cool! Can I test drive the officer car?" The father replies: "No, son. I want your car to have working turn signals and an accurate speedometer."
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