Remember the movie Police Academy? If yes, you can just skip right to our selection of police jokes because you already know what to expect from them! If not, keep on reading, and we’ll tell you all about it.
First off, these cop jokes aren’t a sort of mockery - this has been done many times before, and we’re not willing to continue with the tradition. Instead, these police officer jokes are mainly based on situational comedy because, let’s admit it - being a law enforcement professional gets you into predicaments unmatched by any other occupation. And this will be the basis of our funny jokes about police. Well, okay, maybe a couple of police dad jokes about doughnuts, but that’s it, you have our promise. Next to these sorts of funny cop jokes, there are also jokes for police officers - something they might find relatable or painfully true.
So, our selection of police officer jokes begins with just a scroll down below - you should definitely check them out. Once you’re done reading, be sure to give the best jokes your vote! And after that, you might want to share these cop jokes with your friends, too.
#21
What's the difference between a computer and a police officer?
One has troubleshooting.
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#22
"Police are usually shocked that I have a record. But I love their greatest hits!"
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#23
"I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Funny… I don’t remember applying for a job there."
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#24
"The police said they’d arrest me if I kept telling bad jokes. I stopped because I was scared I would end up in punitentiary."
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#25
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A police officer pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the police officer, "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."
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#26

"Your eyes look red." said the police officer. "Have you been smoking weed?"
"Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"
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#27
Officer: “Why did you park here?”
Me: “The sign says, 'Fine for parking.'”
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#28
What are the four food groups for officers?
Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted.
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#29
Who works in tandem with the grammar police?
Corrections officers.
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#30

"If I was a police officer I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals... left and right."
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#31
Police officer 1: "This murder seems racially motivated."
Police officer 2: "Hate crime?"
Police officer 1: "Of course I hate crime. That's why I'm a officer."
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#32
"I got stopped by a police officer with Alzheimer's. He walks up to my window and says, 'Do I know why I pulled you over?'"
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#33

An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence.
He says to the man, “We’re going to have to give you a drug test.”
Without hesitation, the man replies, “Cool, which drugs are we testing?”
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#34
Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket?
It didn’t have a haunting license.
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#35
Why did the coffee call 911?
It was mugged.
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#36
What is a police officer’s favorite type of tag?
Freeze tag.
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#37

What did the policeman say to the snowman?
Freeze!
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#38
A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Police: "You are the lawyer."
Lawyer: "Exactly, so where's my present?"
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#39
My brother was murdered today.
Officer: "Do you mind identifying the body, I have to warn you the body was hacked up."
Me: "Yes that's my brother Reese."
Officer: "You're sure?"
Me: "Those are Reese's Pieces."
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#40
The perfect crime was committed last night. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Police say they have nothing to go on.
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