Depression affects millions of us, and while we are slowly opening up about mental health issues and beginning to banish the stigma that surrounds them, it is critically important to keep open the conversation to foster understanding and empathy for those who may be dealing with depression.
Sarah Schuster is the mental illness and health editor at The Mighty, and she decided to find out the signs of depression that other people can't see.
“While most people imagine depression symptoms equals 'really sad,' unless you’ve experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that,” she writes. “Living with depression varies a lot, with some signs more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine — it’s different for everyone.”
Asking community members on The Mighty Facebook page the question: “What's something people don't realize you're doing because you live with depression?” The response was eye-opening. Below is a list of some of the things that people had to say. Scroll down to check it out.
#141
I close down my heart and block emotions, because as soon as I let them in, I can't stop crying over how much failure I am in all life circumstances. I had much bigger expectations on myself and I let myself down. I never show how I feel and I try to make all around me laugh and be happy because I know how much saddens hurts.
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#142
People around me think I'm too immature but whereas I'm tired of explaining my point every single time!
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#143
it is healing just seeing that written
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#144
Eating to dull pain, feeling like a disgusting pig for eating so much, then eating more. Then the endless cycle of looking in the mirror, feeling like a fat slob, eating ore b/c I feel like crap, looking in the mirror again, knowing I'll never look good, or have women look at me like I'm attractive. People telling me, "Well, you know how to lose weight,", and "Just get out and exercise, it'll make you feel better,", or my favorite, "You've totally been losing weight!" Yeah, I know I haven't, the doctor forces me onto a scale every visit, I weigh the same or more than last time, and I look like crap, thanks.
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#145
You've reached the point of "I don't care". Your hair is a mess, your clothes don't match, you go to the store in your pajamas. They can think what they want.
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#146
Waking up every morning with that pit in my stomach knowing that today is going to be just like every other day; putting a smile on my face and fooling everyone into thinking everything is ok and that I’m a positive person.
Feeling like a burden in everyone’s life. Wondering if the real reason people hang out with me is because they feel sorry for me or they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Wondering if people just get sick of me.
Constantly “bothering” people with my anxieties and my worries and my insecurities and my fears.
Apologizing and feeling bad for every little thing I do, even if it’s minuscule or nothing at all.
Reading into every little detail of conversation and over analyzing everything that is said to me, through text or in person, trying to figure out what I did wrong or what the person is really trying to tell me. I take everything the wrong way.
Constantly feeling like a failure. Like I’m never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough. I will never be enough for somebody and most everybody.
Hating how my brain just doesn’t shut off. It’s running through every situation of the day and trying to dissect what I did wrong and what I could have done better.
And no matter what, no matter how good something is, waiting for something bad to happen. Waiting for something to come in (me) and screw everything up.
Feeling like a burden in everyone’s life. Wondering if the real reason people hang out with me is because they feel sorry for me or they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Wondering if people just get sick of me.
Constantly “bothering” people with my anxieties and my worries and my insecurities and my fears.
Apologizing and feeling bad for every little thing I do, even if it’s minuscule or nothing at all.
Reading into every little detail of conversation and over analyzing everything that is said to me, through text or in person, trying to figure out what I did wrong or what the person is really trying to tell me. I take everything the wrong way.
Constantly feeling like a failure. Like I’m never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough. I will never be enough for somebody and most everybody.
Hating how my brain just doesn’t shut off. It’s running through every situation of the day and trying to dissect what I did wrong and what I could have done better.
And no matter what, no matter how good something is, waiting for something bad to happen. Waiting for something to come in (me) and screw everything up.
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#147
Waking up every morning with that pit in my stomach, knowing that today is going to be like every other day. Putting a smile on my face and fooling everyone into thinking everything is ok.
Constantly feeling like a burden to everyone around me. Like I’m too much. Almost as if they are only hanging out with me because they feel bad or they don’t want to hurt my feelings.
Over analyzing and reading into every conversation that I have, through text or in person, and trying to figure out what I did wrong or what the other person is really trying to tell me.
Never being enough. That feeling of, no matter what I do, I’m never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough. I will never be enough for somebody or most everybody.
Feeling like I’m burdening everyone with my anxieties and my insecurities and my fears.
Apologizing for every little thing. Whether I did something wrong or not.
My brain doesn’t shut off. It’s constantly running through every situation of the day and wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done better.
Constantly feeling like a burden to everyone around me. Like I’m too much. Almost as if they are only hanging out with me because they feel bad or they don’t want to hurt my feelings.
Over analyzing and reading into every conversation that I have, through text or in person, and trying to figure out what I did wrong or what the other person is really trying to tell me.
Never being enough. That feeling of, no matter what I do, I’m never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough. I will never be enough for somebody or most everybody.
Feeling like I’m burdening everyone with my anxieties and my insecurities and my fears.
Apologizing for every little thing. Whether I did something wrong or not.
My brain doesn’t shut off. It’s constantly running through every situation of the day and wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done better.
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#148
Always staying up late after everybody else has fallen asleep, because I don’t want them to see me cry. Also spending so much time on the internet because there aren’t to many other things that can distract me from my own thoughts
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#149
I don't know exactly when things started going down hill.i think I've always had anxiety and depression issues, as far back as I can remember..I must of hid it from everyone including myself...in my 20s I became addicted to meth, and men..the drugs numbed the pain, and the men made me forget..
But it also had me pushing those i loved must out, they deserved better than me. My first marriage failed, kids taken, my life seemed over. Nothing left to hold, me here.
My brother came and saved me one day I had given up and wanted to die.things were ok for awhile. Or so I told everyone..I'm GOOD. BUT inside I felt like I was going to explode.
Moving through each day like a robot. Ten years ago I had major medical problems.,had to have a complete hysterectomy. And broke my leg six weeks after.that was when I slowly began to slip into my own little world.,sleeping,or sometimes wide awake staring at the ceiling.my mind racing.and I just stopped caring.
My brother came and saved me one day I had given up and wanted to die.things were ok for awhile. Or so I told everyone..I'm GOOD. BUT inside I felt like I was going to explode.
Moving through each day like a robot. Ten years ago I had major medical problems.,had to have a complete hysterectomy. And broke my leg six weeks after.that was when I slowly began to slip into my own little world.,sleeping,or sometimes wide awake staring at the ceiling.my mind racing.and I just stopped caring.
My boyfriend doesn't understand, and he won't listen if I try to explains. He calls me lazy, and we argue all the time, my house is a disgusting mess..I try my best to keep it up,but I'm in constant pain, so no matter what l do it looks like I've done nothing but lay on my bed all day.
I get him up and off to work every day,lunch and all. Then depending on my thoughts and dreams I may stay up and watch tv hopefully I get tired enough to go back to sleep..I love him and I have a home..But if him and everyone else will leave me alone..I can stay in my dreams..where life is good...my escape from reality.
I get him up and off to work every day,lunch and all. Then depending on my thoughts and dreams I may stay up and watch tv hopefully I get tired enough to go back to sleep..I love him and I have a home..But if him and everyone else will leave me alone..I can stay in my dreams..where life is good...my escape from reality.
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#150
I haven't read all of these. But I'm trying to live my life. I have family, friends, and a boyfriend who loves me...yet at the same time, I feel like its all just a dream. I feel like as soon as I leave the room, they are relieved. I feel like I do nothing but depress the people around me. I constantly nap and have nightmares that scare the hell outta me. All I want is comfort but I'm too scared to ask for it. I'm scared its a burden to ask for comfort.
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#151
Being terrified at all times of what people are thinking about me, and being convinced they all hate me.
Also, digging my fingernails into my skin to cause physical pain to distract myself from the emotional pain.
Also, digging my fingernails into my skin to cause physical pain to distract myself from the emotional pain.
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#152
Lying awake at night because I'm so worried about everything. And the drip from the leak in the pipes, but we rent and the house is such a horrible mess I'm afraid we'll be evicted, so it's all going to snowball.
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#153
Awareness. I always want to be rational and not live by illusions and that's why I'm aware of being a failure and most likely will die like one.
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#154
I stay awake all night, because I dont have to interact with anyone. Then I dont want to get out of bed all day. I've tried having normal sleeping hours, but it's too exhausting dealing with everyone throughout the day.
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#155
I can't make him happy.
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#156
Sometimes I'm confused between laziness and depression. But on the serious note, both can be reduced with a will power to do physical exercise, like jogging, dance etc.
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#157
Having big dreams and perhaps great potential, a seemingly outgoing personality, and yet such pervasive underlying self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness and fear to the point you can't make the first step. So everyone thinks you're lazy or full of it. When the truth is you look in the mirror and wonder why even bother, that you're just not worth it.
Trying to explain to your boss why you have constant joint pain, stomach issues, and how you struggle desperately to concentrate.
Having to listen to people ask you 'Why are you sad? What happened?' when the answer is that there is no real reason...you just feel it. And no, you can't 'shake it off'.
Or even worse, having people tell you to exercise more, take some herb, or my all-time favorite 'Just choose to be happy!'.
Trying to explain to people how you desperately need company, interaction, to feel cared about, hugged or touched. And yet those very things seem so overwhelming you suffocate in panic.
That's another thing. Trying to explain to people how anxiety is the other side of the coin. How it took all you could to get out of bed today and leave the house without having a panic attack.
I could write for hours. I don't wish this battle on anyone.
Lastly - trying to explain to people that you simply feel more than most. Things affect you. You lie in bed at night deeply worried about animals or people suffering. Sometimes you just wish you could not feel so much.
Trying to explain to your boss why you have constant joint pain, stomach issues, and how you struggle desperately to concentrate.
Having to listen to people ask you 'Why are you sad? What happened?' when the answer is that there is no real reason...you just feel it. And no, you can't 'shake it off'.
Or even worse, having people tell you to exercise more, take some herb, or my all-time favorite 'Just choose to be happy!'.
Trying to explain to people how you desperately need company, interaction, to feel cared about, hugged or touched. And yet those very things seem so overwhelming you suffocate in panic.
That's another thing. Trying to explain to people how anxiety is the other side of the coin. How it took all you could to get out of bed today and leave the house without having a panic attack.
I could write for hours. I don't wish this battle on anyone.
Lastly - trying to explain to people that you simply feel more than most. Things affect you. You lie in bed at night deeply worried about animals or people suffering. Sometimes you just wish you could not feel so much.
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#158
Since people around me seldom realize that I am in depression, they often tell me how unkept I am always.. And how unkept, disorganised and messy my place is....I don't feel like getting ready or well dressed or go outside with friends or eating food.
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#159
How can you not have any job since college And overcompensate at work in a fitnesscentre? Not to mention sitting all day And night in a chair........
Yes depression is no Joke. And Yes "When I reach out when I'm depressed its cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not cause I want attention". But staying in your chair Will not help meeting soulmates. Look for selfesteem. What are you missing, What is it that you really really want And is iT really So hard to go out and go after iT?
Of course you have no energy for that but I can assure that energy Will fliw as soon as you Will start to move. And I mean iT. Literally. Get your ass of the couch And start moving. Breathing deeply. Cleaning up all the little blocks. IT May take some time but iT works. And have a good breakfast. And drink water. Lots of them.
Yes depression is no Joke. And Yes "When I reach out when I'm depressed its cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not cause I want attention". But staying in your chair Will not help meeting soulmates. Look for selfesteem. What are you missing, What is it that you really really want And is iT really So hard to go out and go after iT?
Of course you have no energy for that but I can assure that energy Will fliw as soon as you Will start to move. And I mean iT. Literally. Get your ass of the couch And start moving. Breathing deeply. Cleaning up all the little blocks. IT May take some time but iT works. And have a good breakfast. And drink water. Lots of them.
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#160
Constantly feeling like your friends hate you even when you are out having a good time with them, later coming home and running over all the small things you have done and how it would offend them, which then leads to a panic attack about how no one will like someone like you.
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