192 Things People Don’t Realise You’re Doing Because Of Your Depression

Lethargic. Feels like an effort to breathe. Heavy chest. Throat feels constricted like a cry trying to get out but its blocked. I PUSH myself into activities - set small goals, complete certain tasks - MUST be done by end of day. It helps.

Being on top of and the master of your world only for depression to come along and make achieving one item on your to-do list feel completely unattainable.

I've given up trying. Everything is overwhelming. Some people can 'take a shower.' For me it means finding the will to do it. Finding something clean to put on. Remembering I've neglected the laundry. Hunting for a clean towel. Knowing I'll have to face myself naked. Feeling so unsteady that I'm going to fall every time I turn around to rinse my hair. Drying off and needing to put on lotion because my skin is burning with dryness but I don't want to physically touch myself. My body disgusts me. I just want to cover myself back up, climb back in to my safe chair - where I pretty much live - and cover myself in a pile of blankets and fall asleep. Between mental and physical effort it's taken me at least 2 hours. I'm filled with a sense of failure that all I can manage in a day is to clean myself. I wish I could just 'take a shower.'

Dealing with so many health issues, hooking up to a machine every night for dialysis. No energy to get out of bed. What is the point of living this life?

I sometimes go to the hardware store where I worked part time for 18+ years. Not because I need anything but so that I can help a customer or three and
it makes me feel useful and I'm free to leave when I want.
In all the years I worked there, only one other employee guessed the reason for my off-shift visits.

It makes me feel so sad to hear that so many ppl feel this way too. We were all once awe filled precious little children, who have somehow been beaten down by the modern world. Surely theres got to be a way out. An underlying cause for so much widespread pain. Maybe its our seperation from nature and a more natural way of life. I know that my dogs have always been a source of hope for me to keep going and to see some good in the world. They show me that im important and awesome, to them at least. Now if i could just start believing that about myself.

I was overwhelmed by everyone and everything, work, family, partner, colleagues, friends, housemate... I felt that everyone needs something from me and I couldn't handle it. Then I became untisocial, burned out, I was cancelling everything, leaving messy room, not having mood for anything. I didn't want to go for shopping, cooking and felt that my parner doesn't understand what I am going through.

I think that depressive-like thoughts particularly effects America/ns because we are so consumerism-driven jumping from the acquisition of one high to the next.

Life isn't supposed to be one big orgasm that only the successful and the beautiful achieve.

Everyone suffers and its a fool's errand to try to evade this necessary reality. I like to think that suffering is one side of the coin and joy is another. When you put them together in daily activities (smile at someone you don't like, go out of your way to spend time with someone)
you find that there's a special experience in understanding that we can share each others' burdens and lighten each others' loads.

It's a passage to learning about one another and ourselves at the least. But when you're truly depressed, that does not matter one bit. However, it's clinically proven that fake smiling makes you feel better. How about fake-caring or fake-loving for a while until it actually takes hold of you and changes your life?

My husband controls every aspect of my life from morning to night, and I have no energy or will to try to change the situation. The thought of packing my things and leaving him is so overwhelming that I just struggle through each day doing what he tells me to do, and waiting on him hand and foot like a slave because it is easier. I am not allowed to have any friends, or go anywhere by myself without his permission. I am trapped in this life, this house, this misery. Most nights,I pray to not wake up the next day, but every day I do. I wish there was a way out that didn't require any energy.

Good exposure of the mountains people with anxiety and depression climb every day.

Tensing up your whole body when you sit because you're afraid of what people think about how you sit, so you try to be perfect and still fail. Numb yourself with hours and hours and hours of listening to music in your room, or sometimes just complete silence. Wanting to talk to someone but you don't even know what you're feeling.

At 13 y/o, I took a handful of aspirin, climbed into bed and waited to die. I did drugs and this helped me the short time I was under their vice. I was 16 y/o when I’d sneak sleeping pills. As soon as I awoke, I'd take another to put me back to sleep. I suppose my life was so miserable I didn’t want to be awake for it. I also slit my wrist with a razor blade one evening when I was drunk, but not because I wanted to die. It was a plea for help. I told the police officer in the ED that I didn’t do it because I wanted to die but because I was drunk. So he wrote on the report I was slicing a loaf of bread when the knife slipped. Needless to say I never received any help. Then my baby came along. I had to remain alive for her. It wasn't fair that she would have to grow up without a mom. I became a professional liar and learned to hide it really well. I’d shy away from others. It was a defense mechanism for me. Depression is a horrible thing to have, especially when you’re so young that you don’t even know there’s a diagnosis of it and that it’s hereditary. You believe it’s just you and that you’re just weird or strange. Most days are good but I'm always on the verge of tears. I never could keep friends because to me no one was truly a friend anyway just someone I knew. With depression, you learn how to blame others for your actions. It’s easier to fool yourself into believing the responsibility’s not yours. You’re just the poor victim. You pity yourself. When others talk about someone who committed suicide, they’d say things like ‘that’s so selfish! They weren’t thinking about their loved ones at all!’ But what they don’t understand is that it’s because we feel there’s really no other way out, no one loves us and would miss us anyway, and besides others would be much better off without a loser in their lives. Don’t waste any precious time on me, because can’t you see, I’m not worth it? I don't think anyone ever really 'gets over' depression. It remains a lifelong battle that we learn to fight.

Going to bed at 9, then sleeping until 10 or 11. Don't even get me started on how hard it is to just get out of bed. It's like you don't have the energy to do ANYTHING, even if it will help.

Feeling guilty about sleeping 12 - 16 hours and still no energy Guilty about trying to fill the numbing emptiness with food and getting so fat I hate myself Guilty for taking 6 hours just to get the energy to take a shower then wanting to eat and crawl back into bed Depression is Hell on earth

Listening to ASMR: "You are good enough."

Three years after my husband died, I thought I was getting thru the depression. After reading this, I see I still have almost every symptom. Except drinking. I don't drink. And I don't work (I'm retired) so some of it doesn't pertain to me. God, give me the strength to make it 3 more years!

I m constantly either working and torturing myself or sleeping too much, sometimes 12-16 hrs coz, I don't wanna go through the conscious thoughts that race through my brain at all times. I Soo much wish I could die, so I could finally have some peace. I don't wanna exist anymore, in any plane whatsoever. And overeating and curling in a ball during my anxiety attacks. And that emptiness and hollow inside, which is Soo much worse than the pain.

Gorging on sugar for that half hour of energy spike so I can get something done.

is there an answer, I have to own my depression as much as I hate it but I make sure now it does not own me, that is hard and I fail a lot. having to make myself get up do things, is an effort but I do it. nothing anyone says can help or make you feel better, sleeping, eating can take over if we let it, I am strong but sometimes this is stronger than me. painful and misunderstood. sometimes for me the front gate is my enemy I just can not get out it, the world is out there,
i get up at a certain time and dress every morning as it is to easy to stay there, not saying I do much some days but I am up and dressed. I distrust people as well so that does not help . my animals are my solace with out them who knows where I would be, I know they are my responsability so I look after them and they keep me going

I hate the holidays... Family... People and "happiness"... I wish it was just any other day.... Go shopping, make dinner... Like I enjoyed any of this...