192 Things People Don’t Realise You’re Doing Because Of Your Depression

I get obsessive over things. Things like I'm worthless or I'm a bad person or I'm secretly just like the people I hate most. Sometimes I can't tell if what I am thinking is true or not. I get anxiety at social events. I feel like people hate me or just don't care about me. I cling to certain people and want them to love me. My brain sometimes goes into overdrive and I can't turn it off and it causes a downward spiral that is hard to pull out of.

I don't tell people because I don't want to be labeled. I don't want them to see me as broken and depressed or that I'm just being silly. But at the same time people get upset at me or mad about things but they don't understand what I have to deal with.

I listen to music a lot. I read tons and tons of fantasy books. I like watching movies. All of these take me away from reality for a while and puts me into amazing worlds where I know things are going to end happily. I love being in plays and musicals because I get to be someone else entirely and I know how things are going to end and it makes me happier.

Every night I look at all the pictures of dead relatives I have and asking them to please come get me I don't want to do this anymore. I'm 71 and have been suffering from depression on and off in my life since I was 18. I truly am done.

I feel like a stranger in my own life. Having had surgery, off work, no savings, short term disability behind, water frozen, kitchen full of dirty dishes, but I am alive and taking meds.

I thought I was really bad at hiding my anxiety until one day a friend came to tell me that she wished she lived her life like how I did mine , cause I am always happy and take everything with a pinch of salt. Now I know that I'm an ace at covering up .

Running a business not answering the phone for years ... still works, though .... cancelling all the jobs that makes it neccessary leaving my home ... can‘t leave my cats alone ... I am turning into this crazy cat lady ... at least I don‘t miss anything - I really enjoy my own company ... people empty me .

It's so comforting to see I'm not alone. Being indecisive, having extreme difficulty making decisions because you can only see and fear all the things that will go wrong. And when/if a decision has been Finally made, the inability to take action and carry it out because of fear and anxiety. Financial problems overwhelming, inadequacy, social fear, losing your temper for no reason, hours of crying fits, safety in your little home, but being so lonely, heartbreak, regret and grief because of loss of dreams, feeling useless & lazy because you cannot complete basic household chores. Eating too much junk or nothing at all because it's too much trouble. Having a long list of fun things to do in your spare time that you KNOW will make you feel great about yourself, but you just cannot get out of bed to do them - yearning for the days when you could. Just wanting to sleep so you don't have to FEEL anything. The GUILT of having depression because everyone else seems to have their life together and so should you at this age. But you don't know how to do it. The guilt you feel because of the Support you DO get from Friends who understand - don't they have their own lives to live without having to worry about you all the time? Not feeling good enough/worthy of being loved by someone after being rejected. Escaping into your phone or movies/series. Genuinely not wanting to carry on, even/especially after 3 suicide unsuccessful 'attempts', because it seems this is as good as it gets and you are just using up Earth's valuable resources, a waste of space. Feeling like a burden. Depression is a killer.

Going for late night walks by myself. My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head.

I know what should I do to get rid of depression, but I can't. I'm in a lake, I know how to swim, but I'm paralyzed. I think that's it.

Endless negativity towards yourself and everyone else. Feeling like a continuous failure because you don't have the energy to do the right things in your life. Constantly telling yourself you're worthless and people around you will be better off if you're not there. Panic attacks that happen at night and keep you awake. Wondering if it will ever get over.

I have often been accused of having "no sense of humor". So wrong. Before depression took over my life I smiled, and laughed, as much as the next person. Now, having lived with depression for over 15 years, the humor I find in a joke, or situation, is rarely visible on my face or heard in my laugh. I feel humor, but it's just too much effort to express it. I don't have the energy.

I've dealt with depression most my life. Most my symptoms are manageable as long as I'm being mindful of my attitude, thoughts, and behavior. I don't ignore people and I let them know when I need alone time or if I'm not feeling well. When life gets boring or mundane I remind myself that this is not my last stop and I continue dreaming. These are some of the ways that I manage depression.

People will always tell you "When you're feeling like that, reach out to someone". But I don't want to anymore. Any time that I try to, I'm told I'm too negative, or to get over it, or SOMETHING along the lines of "How dare you have told me this?". Every time I try to open up to people they either tell me off or just outright block me.
It's come to the point where when I hear people say "I care about your happiness", I interpret it as "I only care about you when you're happy". Talking through these kinds of emotions are usually a great help, but how can I get said help if nobody cares enough about me to talk to me about it at all? I'm grateful to have a therapist, but a lot of people don't have the money or other resources for such help.

I always say I'm going to do something with the guys and when it comes time to do it. I back away. Also sleeping for hours not because I'm lazy but because dealing with all the thoughts in my head from anxiety along with depression is exhausting. Feels like kind of when your in winter and the cold air is blowing and you find it hard to breath. It's like that daily for me.

Just getting in the bath or making a cup of tea is a major achievement. Having my dog has made me get out of the house at least twice a day, have to take hours to get motivated sometimes though. But if I didn’t have him, I probably wouldn’t leave the house unless it was for work.

I volunteer for everything from going to pto meetings to baby sitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed & get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted..

I'm currently feeling some pretty deep depression because of what I'm going through. Between the stress and depression all I can do is sleep because I'm so worn out. In some pretty dark places right now and pushing everyone away. I hope it will end when I face the monster that is trying to kill me at the end of the month. I've lost everything in the last 2 years because of this person and their agency. I can relate to just about everyone of these and have lost friends over it. I had one friend tell me that my friends don't like hanging out with me because I'm negative. Well a chance to loose your life is pretty negative. Just saying.

I'm 25 but still virgin, no job, no money no boyfriend, I still live with my family, I can't even graduate from college at my 6th year because I can't focus anything, I can't get up from bed, I don't want to do anything, just sleep and hope to die.

As i read these, i can totally relate to almost all of them. That constant
battle royale what you have to fight against your demons. The struggle to eat, to shower, to clean your room/house, go to school/workplace. And the world says that you are lazy is only oil onto the fire. When they say "yeah everyone gets sad". Well you don't say? I'm not sad. I'm DEPRESSED. There is a huge difference. Sadness is an emotin when something bad happened. Depression is feeling sad, alone, exhausted or even suicidal etc. My favourite is "you have nothing to be depressed, you have at least half of your life in front of you". Yea... most people can't realize the fact depression has multiple reasons, Not just the traumatical one. It can be in your genes because someone was depressed in your family, it can be a random switch from a day to the other just because your neurochemical balance got broken and became a neurochemical imbalance. So you don't need any reason to be depressed it can just happen. (just like in my case, and in many others')

Sometimes i just don't eat for 2-3 days, then i try to eat normally, then i eat a lot. Same with sleep. Somethimes I'm like an insomniac, then I'm like i have hypersomnia. This cycle is what killing a lot of us.

That feel when sleep is not just a sleep anymore, more likely a way to escape. But then you realise that when you sleep only the time passes but it's just like a snap of fingers and you feel the demons again. Then you feel like "please god, i don't want to wake up tomorrow, please". The feel when you are in front of the mirror and just screaming/crying and literally begging to yourself to hold on.

I know how it feels, i feel like I already lost and I'm really afrad if it as well.

But please, whoever you are, be strong, i know it's a cliche what you hear always, but we hear that all the time only because it's our only chance.

I get very apathetic. And I'll refuse (read: I can't) to make any decisions. Even tiny ones like what to eat. I physically won't be able to make a decision. So if there isn't someone around to tell me to eat something and what to eat, I won't eat. If there isn't someone to tell me to go to sleep, I won't. It gets to the point where if someone asks me to make a decision or tries to force me to make a decision I'll just curl up into a ball and cry.

I prefer to be awake through the night because I can just stay in bed without anyone getting mad. I sleep up to 15 hours a day during bad periods. When I'm awake, I live in my head, I often don't even move.