192 Things People Don’t Realise You’re Doing Because Of Your Depression

My sleep patterns are all over the place. I have lots of bad dreams and I’m tired all the time. Work takes a lot of energy, being happy and enthusiastic (I’m a teacher) I crash when I get home. Change makes me anxious. On bad days my hands will shake and I feel anxious and jittery but I don’t know why. I forget my words. If I’m down and someone asks how I’m going I’ll just burst into tears. I’m happiest when I’m too busy to think, but then I wear out and crash. The situation that caused my depression is gone and logically I know I should be fine now, happy now...but I’m still struggling. I lost good habits and picked up some bad habits. I’ll agree to plans and then cancel, I feel like I’m turning into a hermit and if I talk to someone about it they will think I’m weak and get sick of me being down all the time. So, I stay home by myself.

People think I'm really flaky. I say I'm busy and I can't do the thing I said I'd do but I'm busy hiding. That's depression. The great need to be busy until you're so totally physically exhausted so you don't have to be afraid of your own thoughts: that's anxiety.

I'm always alone until someone in my family needs something. And I'm up all night trying to figure out how to solve everyone else's problem. After their problem are solved, they're gone...no thank you, and they may even talk about me behind my back about how they used me again. But If I don't help, I'm the crazy sister, aunt,etc.. If family does this to you, I'm afraid to meet strangers. No one cares that I'm alone all day at home hiding in the house with burns all over my body, I've been told that I'm too depressing to be around, until they need help again. I need to drop my family and find people like me. But where do burn victims hook up? Heaven I guess!

My emotions overwhelm me. I second guess everything I do or don’t do. I feel like no matter what I do it will be wrong. I am constantly exhausted and want to escape into sleep to avoid life. I feel hopeless and helpless and I don’t think anyone understands. I want to scream for help but no one knows how to help me and I feel like they don’t want to hear it and they’re trivializing my struggle. I want to physically cut it out of myself.

Always having to be around someone. I have a total inability to be alone. I don't even have to talk to a person...as long as I know they're physically there, I'm content. Otherwise, depressing thoughts creep in and I end up driving myself crazy. It's less effort to put on the facade that I'm fine in front of other people, than it is to face myself alone.

When people rely on you, you keep a mask of the other you tightly in place. The smiling, happy, outgoing, social you. My mask was so tight, I didn't realize that my exhaustion and lack of drive, the fact that a load of laundry would somehow become ten loads, was in fact a very well concealed depression. It took a friend who was also suffering and knew the symptoms to point it out. Life isn't much easier, but I'm still alive. I can't say how much longer I would have been if she hadn't spoke up.

The worst part is feeling like my kids deserve a better mum but at the same time, knowing how much they need only me and that no one would love them like i do.

Smoking all the time, no light in the room, lots of sleep, smiling for your familly so they don't know how worthless you actually feel. Building a Universe around your own bed because you want just to stay there ... thinking that everything you do is wrong and that most people would be better without you ...

I have anxiety and pretty much think I'm useless all the time & that people don't actually like me. It's like My inner monologue is constantly putting me down. Because of this, I can't handle criticism of any kind. In a work situation it comes across like I'm not listening when taking constructive criticism, or if I've made a mistake and I'm being called out on it. It may seem like I'm ignoring criticism but in reality I'm shutting down because i've already started to tell myself that I'm useless and I'm scolding myself for messing up.

I don't feel like I'm "in me". I feel like I'm looking on. Like I'm behind something but watching with hypervigilance. I also stress over things way beforehand. "Which door will I go in? Someone's going to laugh if I get the wrong door". "Where do I park? I'm going to be in someone's way". "When I walk in, everyone's going to look at me". It goes on and on. My mind is so chaotic that it is empty, blank. I cannot say things in order or make others understand what I am trying to get across. Words won't come. When they do they don't come out right or the thoughts in my head are not the thoughts I am thinking. They think I'm using figures of speech. Once I was telling my therapist that I didn't feel like I was 46. She went to give me a high five! I meant that I feel emotionally stunted, like I didn't go past a certain point somewhere along the line. I have PTSD from sexual abuse by one person and physical and verbal abuse from my father. I had it coming at me in every direction it feels like. I feel SO tired all the time, all, the time. No energy to do anything. I have no interest in anything anymore. My apartment isn't dirty but things pile up. I know, logically I need to get my butt moving but I just can't. I want to sleep and nap all the time. Facebook is an outlet for me. I have made groups so that I can post to only certain people about certain things. I don't want to hear "you are throwing a pity party", or "chin up". That hurts, it does not help me. I cry at the drop of a hat over anything. I cry a lot. Especially when I can't get the right words out or someone points out something I did or said. I am overly emotional and the more I try to curb it, it just makes the situation worse. Everything is super focused around me but a whirling mess at the same time. I hope someone understands what I am trying to say. And thank you for contributing to these answers. It gives all of us validation that we are not alone.

I can't sleep at night because thoughts of failure run through my head

Sometimes I can't breathe

This describes my life so much and it’s to the point where I even cancel Dr’s appt. knowing I needed to go that day. But good to know that someone understands. I pray things get better for everyone that deal with depression and anxiety I the Name of Jesus!

I lie awake into the night, and wake up late. It's not by choice. But I usually wake up feeling exhausted, with a headache, and unable to take the world on. I hate taking calls or talking to people, because I can't say what's on my mind because I know they'll treat me like an imbecile, and I can't bear to make small talk when my head's about to burst open. I can't remember the last time I went out. I can no longer look people in the eye for the fear that they'll see what I am hiding. I dress shabby and am usually unkempt, because I no longer care how I look. Does the outside really matter when there is a war and bloodshed within you? Sometimes when I do watch something on Netflix, most of it doesn't even register to me. Its almost like watching life pass by. On most days, I simply forget to eat, and when I do remember late in the night, I'm still not hungry. And on some days, the only thought that gives me any comfort whatsoever is thinking of the warm feeling of bleeding out in a warm bath. Depression is really hard..every single day..and no one understands..but they are quick to abandon you. Depression paired with loneliness is even harder.

My house is a wreck, I don't let anyone inside, I have no friends. I work, go home, just sit and watch Netflix for hours. Then get up and go to work again. Fall asleep in my chair. I feel dead inside. On my days off, I just sit all day. I don't leave the house unless I have to.

It seems like all the time I mess up, no matter what. I hate working in groups because of this, and I never help out. When the group asks me to help, I always screw up somehow and they blame me for it, rightfully so. It feels like I'm a failure

I smile all the time even though I don't really want to but I do it because I don't feel like I'm allowed to be sad when I'm with other people. I also do whatever it takes to make someone else happy, because since I don't feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy. I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.

I have tendencies towards a lot of what's been described here: I wake up sometimes and think: 'Ugh! How am I going to get up today?' I have times I want to avoid people, where I become very introverted, where I want to drink every night, where I don't feel like making any efforts to try to address my difficult financial situation (I can't find a good job just yet).

I can't speak for everyone, but what works for me, and I think will work for some, but certainly not all others, is that I work against these things one at a time, with simple but effective rules: 1. I will not let myself sleep more than 8.5 hours (assuming I'm not recovering from some serious sleep deprivation) 2. I will not let myself buy alcohol at a store or go to a bar until a weekend night. 3. I will require myself to do at least a few job applications, or application follow ups or go to some networking thing at least a few times a week. 4. I will exercise at least for a half hour 5-6 days a week. 5. I will write one more chapter of my novel manuscript today. 6. I will tidy up my room for 10-20 minutes as I play my favorite music. 7. I will enjoy a little indulgent food like dessert but I won't go crazy on dessert.

Ask yourself this: can I put my more intelligent self in charge, one simple step at a time?

I avoid social interaction because I feel people tolerate me only to be polite to my husband or my son. When friends invite us over I stay at home for I don't believe they really want me around.

Most people with anxiety/depression flee social settings and commitments. I CRAVE them. If I have any free time during the day, that's when the thoughts and darkness sets in. I put way too much on my plate and I'll get anxiety over it. If I have anxiety over the small things, I won't have time to think about the dark thoughts that are always in the back of my mind.