Telling little white lies to your child every now and then is certainly not a bad thing. In some cases, namely, that of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind - and keep them on their best behavior if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, these little lies are simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.
Using "alternative facts" in raising kids, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. "Kids globalize and say, ‘My parent is a liar. Are they also lying about loving me?’" Canadian parenting expert Alyson Schafer told The Washington Post in 2015. On the importance of owning up to your funny lies, and making up for it, though, she added that “making a mistake gracefully is a really important parenting skill.”
In other words, as long as you make sure to backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.
Check out some of the most clever and funny things to say to your kids below, and if you still need more inspiration, you can find our previous post on this here. Also, don't forget to add yours to the list!
#121
Chuck E Cheese in only for birthday parties. You have to be invited to one to go there.
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11points
#123
My daughter was afraid of monsters at night, like all kids. So I gave her a potato masher and told her it was a magic stick that keeps monsters away if she sleeps with it by her pillow.
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11points
#124
My mom showed the video of me being born in reverse and said that that's what happens to children who misbehave.
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11points
#125
Whenever the ice cream man came through my neighborhood and my father did not want to buy me ice cream, he would tell me that it was just the Beer Man and he'd let me know when the ice cream man actually was driving by. I never even realized the Beer Man was NOT a thing until I was much older.
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11points
#126
"Sorry sweetie you can't watch any more Elmo videos, it's Elmo's bed time and he's sleeping now."
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11points
#127
That if we jumped while on a plane, the plane would keep going and we would go flying backwards and slam into the rear wall.
It worked for years and kept us sitting quietly in planes until my older brother made me try to jump.
It worked for years and kept us sitting quietly in planes until my older brother made me try to jump.
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11points
#128
My mom hated swimming, so she told me she was allergic to water. At a young age I just believed her, but as I grew older, I asked her how she bathes? To which she convincingly replied "I have special medication for that." Again I believed her. Until one very hot summer's day... she finally decided to swim, to which I freak out of course, thinking she'd die!!!
11points
#129
When I was a kid I was super sure that cats are the women of dogs...
11points
#131
My mom always asked my brother's kindergarten teacher what he had done during the day. Then, back at home, she would speak with him about these things, telling him that she had a special channel on her TV where she can watch him all day long.
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#132
My mom told me that when an earthquake happened, it was because our planet was fighting with another planet. I believed that crap until second grade.
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#133
My friend ripped open a handwarmer, and when the powder got on his hands his parents told him his hands would disintegrate by age 30. We looked up what disintegrate meant later that night, and he bawled hysterically while staring at his hands.
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#134
My mom told my sister and I that Chucky, the evil murderous doll from the Child's Play series, lived in our A/C vents to get us to stop sticking cheerios in them.
I was terrified to go near vents well into adulthood.
I was terrified to go near vents well into adulthood.
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10points
#135
"You can only wear your Batman costume outside on Halloween and maybe on your birthday. It says so on the tag."
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10points
#136
My parents said if you play with your belly-button you'll pop like a balloon and fly around the room.
10points
#137
We would go blackberry picking behind our house in the summer. In order for us not to pick the green, unripe berries, my mom would tell us to only pick the dark ones because the green ones meant that a dog had peed on it.
We never touched the green ones.
10points
#138
My dad used to tell us amazing adventurous stories of when in 1944 he was in Klondike, fighting bears, eating wolves, living in a cave during the winter... Until we realised he was born in 1955 (oh, we live in Italy)... Amazing memories
10points
#139
I told my son, when I turned 34, that I went to the courthouse and had my age stopped . He gave me handmade birthday cards, wishing me a happy 34th birthday for many years. He is now older than me.
10points