Telling little white lies to your child every now and then is certainly not a bad thing. In some cases, namely, that of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind - and keep them on their best behavior if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, these little lies are simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.
Using "alternative facts" in raising kids, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. "Kids globalize and say, ‘My parent is a liar. Are they also lying about loving me?’" Canadian parenting expert Alyson Schafer told The Washington Post in 2015. On the importance of owning up to your funny lies, and making up for it, though, she added that “making a mistake gracefully is a really important parenting skill.”
In other words, as long as you make sure to backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.
Check out some of the most clever and funny things to say to your kids below, and if you still need more inspiration, you can find our previous post on this here. Also, don't forget to add yours to the list!
#101
My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we'd have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion.
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15points
#102
My dad told me oil stains on the street were little kids that got run over because they didn't hold anyone's hand while crossing the street.
Unknown
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#105
My aunt told my little cousin that after Halloween he would have to leave his bag of candy on the porch for some "Halloween spirit" to take.
She... or the spirit, would leave a gift in the mourning. So my cousin basically collected the neighbors candy to barter for some gift.
She... or the spirit, would leave a gift in the mourning. So my cousin basically collected the neighbors candy to barter for some gift.
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13points
#106
My dad convinced me it was illegal to play with a toy or game if you were not in the recommended age groups. For example, if it said, 'for ages seven and up' and I was six, then it was illegal for me to play with it.
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13points
#107
My father told me that pears were apples from outer space.
Unknwon
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#108
When I was little my mom told me that boogers were tiny pieces of my brain and I would get more and more dumb each time I picked them.
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13points
#109
My dad would tell me that I had a brother named Steve who misbehaved all the time so one day, the raccoon clan came and took him away. He spent so much time with them that he became a raccoon. I told all my friends and teachers about this until in fourth grade, it hit me.
13points
#110
I convinced my son that I had eyes in the back of my head so I could we him and his brother misbehaving in the back seat while I was driving, a week later he wanted to comb my hair while sitting on the back of my chair, he took a really long time so I asked why, he said he was trying to see my eyes in the back of my head, I said I'm keeping them closed so you don't scratch them with the brush! He believed this for a couple of years then figured out I could see him in the rearview mirror!
13points
#111
When my ex-girlfriend was a kid, she had misbehaved and her dad told her he was, "only going to buy her one boob when she grew up."
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12points
#112
"If you eat after 8pm you turn into a gremlin and the only way to stop the process of changing into one is to eat a vegetable."
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12points
#113
Dad convinced us he had a special button to change red lights to green. Literally didn't realize he was bullshitting until I was 12.
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12points
#114
"I believed that it was illegal to have the lights on in a moving car."
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12points
#115
My friend's parents told him there was a big beautiful fish that lived behind the bathroom mirror, and if he used too much water, it would die.
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12points
#116
When we go on a road trip I'm going to tell my kids, "If you go to sleep, we'll take the shortcut."
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12points
#117
i forgot one...
you have to eat your dinner with fork and knife . (knife on the right)...so you can join our King (The Netherlands) for dinner one day and dont look stupid
12points
#118
When my son feels there was horrible unjustice done to him, and cry, because a catroon was too short, there wasnt something in the store he "needed" or just because the change of summer -winter time, I tell him I will write very angry complain to ministry of cartoons, time or whatever is needed, to let them know we can't accept such awfull conditions they put us threw. Works for several years now .
12points
#119
My mom thought it was time for my younger sister (1.5 years old) to stop using her pacifier, but my sister couldn't sleep without it. So my mom made up a story and told her that the pacifier had to go home and spend some time with it's mom too. My sister believed it and told my mom to let the pacifier go back home. From then on, she never used it again but sometimes she will ask how the pacifier is doing. WELL DONE MOM!
12points
#120
I’ve told my daughter that our local pizza place’s ovens broke so we couldn’t order pizza that day.
Unknown
Report11points