Telling little white lies to your child every now and then is certainly not a bad thing. In some cases, namely, that of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind - and keep them on their best behavior if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, these little lies are simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.
Using "alternative facts" in raising kids, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. "Kids globalize and say, ‘My parent is a liar. Are they also lying about loving me?’" Canadian parenting expert Alyson Schafer told The Washington Post in 2015. On the importance of owning up to your funny lies, and making up for it, though, she added that “making a mistake gracefully is a really important parenting skill.”
In other words, as long as you make sure to backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.
Check out some of the most clever and funny things to say to your kids below, and if you still need more inspiration, you can find our previous post on this here. Also, don't forget to add yours to the list!
#61
Grandpa told me that there's a tube connecting my bellybutton to my butt, and that if I unscrew my bellybutton my butt will fall off.
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35points
#63
If I didn't sit still during a haircut, the barber would cut my ear off. The worst part was that the barber would play along.
Unknown
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#64
My mother told me that my lips would turn purple if I kissed a boy. When I was in highschool I had kissed a boy at a football game and asked my friend for lipgloss to cover up the purple on my lips. She just laughed at me and I felt very embarrassed.
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34points
#65
I told to my 3yr old nephew that my sister's name is Potato. It's was 10 years ago, he still calling her that at every familly gathering.
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34points
#66
"If you don't read at least one book a week your brain will stop growing."
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34points
#68
My dad told me that I could not get a sundae because they were only sold on Sundays.
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33points
#69
My mother told me that the thunder was God rearranging His furniture.
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31points
#70
Whenever my mom would fart she would blame it on the ants in the house AND I BELIEVED HER.
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31points
#72
My mom's friend got tired of her kids eating her scallops when they went to restaurants, so she told them that scallops are dolphin balls.
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30points
#73
My dad told me that the reason old TV shows and movies were in black and white was because there was no colour in the world at the time. He said colour was invented part way through filming The Wizard Of Oz which is why it starts in black and white and then switches to colour.
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30points
#74
My ex's mother told her kids that they had to make sure they watched her (the mom) at all times to make she didn't get kidnapped.
Neither of her kids ever got lost or wandered away.
Neither of her kids ever got lost or wandered away.
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30points
#75
My mum tells my sister the Internet lady turns the Internet off at 6 pm every night.
Unknown
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#76
My mother once told me not to swallow apple seeds because a tree would grow in my stomach. I actually believed her for a while.
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27points
#77
My co-worker told her son, who is afraid of clowns, that ice cream trucks were driven by clowns. He heard that music and sprinted to his room. Evil genius of a parent.
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26points
#78
The cashier forgot to put your candy in the bag! Time after time...ugh.
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26points
#79
Grew up in west Texas in the middle of no where with no street lights so my curfew was when it got dark. If I wasn't home before it was dark to eat dinner and get ready for bed, my mother would shout "You better get in here before the chupacabra gets you." And I would proceed to break world records running and riding my bike home and I would then "play it cool" when she saw me just briskly walking in the house. She even had me believing the sounds of cicadas was the chupacabra.
25points
#80
Remember back in the '90s when the Gap had mannequins with no faces? Well, my parents used to tell my sister and I that if we misbehaved in the mall we would end up as one of the Gap kids with no faces.
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22points