287 Funny White Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

Not my kid, just a friend...but she was complaining about having freckles one day ( I have my own and am happy with them ) so I told her that it was because she ate too much vegemite. That our skin has parts that are thinner than other parts, and that if you eat too much dark food, it shows through. She took all of this as fact, and her Mum was in the same room but behind her the whole time shaking her head as I did this, with a smirk but realising her teenage daughter was way too gullible.

My mother told me to not swallow watermelon seeds or one will start growing and I'll have a watermelon in my tummy. I never swallowed those seeds again because I thought I'd be pregnant. I was 8.

My grandmother used to tell me that drinking milk while eating fish was poisonous. I've eaten tuna fish sandwiches with a glass of milk for years and it's never hurt me.

The tooth fairy used the teeth to make dentures for old people

When I was younger my favorite sweets were fruit pastels so my mum told me that red and black ones were poisonous to kids and I believed her until I was 8/9

I was told when I was a kid the trick to getting rid of worms:
Lay on your belly with your mouth open, and a piece of devon (baloney?) in front. The worm would smell it and wriggle out of your mouth. believed it into my teens...

In order to keep her kids from wandering too far, my cousin used to tell her kids that the Cucuy (Mexican boogie man) would get them. Worked every time.

deadlocks are cow poo on strings

My dad and his brothers would always tell us to stay away from the front corner of my grandm's house. Saying, "the wrag-man gon' get you!" I'm 34 and still anxious about that part of my grandma's house...

When my husband and I moved in together, he couldn't believe that I wasn't wiping off the toothpaste that had splattered on my shirt. He said "it will bleach your shirt! You joke, but my dad told me that's how his beard went great! When my husband and I moved in together, he couldn't believe that I wasn't wiping off the toothpaste and it splattered on my shirt. He said "it will bleach your shirt! You joke, but my dad told me that's how his beard went gray!" He was 32.

My dad told us he did not know how to get to our grandma's house and that he had to watch for the blinking arrows on the car's dashboard. We would watch for awhile then lose interest. He would then secretly hit the turn signal. We would tell and he would say "I see it, I see it ".

When he was younger, my mum managed to convince my brother that ticket machines had tiny little men inside them and that he had to thank them every time a ticket popped out. He always did for years. Now he tells his children the same thing

My mother told me and my two older siblings that she could tell if we were fibbing by looking at our tongues. She could always spot the fibber, who would steadfastly refuse to stick out their tongue.

When my brother was born, my dad told me and my sister that babies were born with antennas on their heads. I got really excited when they brought him home from the hospital because I wanted to see them for myself; I was super disappointed when he told me that the antennas fall off when they put the hat on the baby (it didn't help that my mom went along with it) .

I believed him for a couple years until I realized that he made it up (2 more siblings later). We still laugh about that one.

My parents liked to entertain their friends in the summer by throwing barbeque's and enjoyed drinking Grasshoppers. That's an alcoholic drink that includes ice cream, Crème de Menthe, and Crème de Cocao (tastes like frozen chocolate mint) and is green in color. To keep the kids out of their hair, the parents told us kids we had to keep catching and bringing them grasshoppers for their drinks. Worked like a charm!

My dad told me his middle name was Handsome... I believed that for years until by chance saw his drivers license.

When I was three we had tiny candy canes on the Christmas tree. They were just my size and I wouldn't leave them alone. That year we had a 'live' tree (whatever that meant to little me) so my mom told me the Christmas tree would get mad if I kept stealing his candy canes and might try and eat me. When I didn't finish my dinner, she would set the plate of unfinished food under the tree to feed it (we watered it so that made sense). I gave it a wide berth after that.

My dad tricked my little sister and I into believing that if the hazard button in the car was pressed it would shoot missiles out into the car in front of us. This went on until I was 14.

When I was younger and I would refuse to eat something, my mom would look inside the kitchen cabinet and said that the list inside said that the previous time I liked the food. Then I just ate my meal, and I liked it.

When I was 18 or something, I heard there has never been a list. It was just a list with phone numbers.

My father and uncles told us coffee would put hair on your chest and stunt your growth. Since most of the men in my family are furry and everybody's short, I believed it.