Telling little white lies to your child every now and then is certainly not a bad thing. In some cases, namely, that of Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind - and keep them on their best behavior if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, these little lies are simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.
Using "alternative facts" in raising kids, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. "Kids globalize and say, ‘My parent is a liar. Are they also lying about loving me?’" Canadian parenting expert Alyson Schafer told The Washington Post in 2015. On the importance of owning up to your funny lies, and making up for it, though, she added that “making a mistake gracefully is a really important parenting skill.”
In other words, as long as you make sure to backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.
Check out some of the most clever and funny things to say to your kids below, and if you still need more inspiration, you can find our previous post on this here. Also, don't forget to add yours to the list!
#183
If you have the lights on in the car at night, the cops will pull us over.
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5points
#184
my parents told me i was allergic to sugar and would die if i ate it. they even went and brought "alternative snacks" to my school teachers like carrot sticks and peanuts for them to stock up for me and hand out when the other kids got birthday cupcakes. not the worst thing they could have done to me, but it sucked. i totally believed them until i went to visit my aunt and realized that ice cream and m&m's were F*CKING AMAZING.
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5points
#185
My parents convinced me that if I didn't eat my broccoli then I would go bald. They used my Grandfather as an example as he was bald. Turned out he was undergoing cancer treatment. It worked though! I do love Broccoli!
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5points
#186
My dad told me that there's a dead lady that crawls through little childrens' windows and kills them if they're not asleep by a certain time. My dad liked to scare the shit out of me...
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5points
#187
"Grandpa called and he said if you don't go to bed, he is never giving you candy again. "
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5points
#188
When I was little, I was afraid of monsters coming into the house so my dad told me that he set up and invisible force field around the house so that when monsters got near the house, they would turn to dust.
Later, I asked him what happened when santa came to the house and he told me that he turned off the force field and the reindeers bit any monsters that got near.
Later, I asked him what happened when santa came to the house and he told me that he turned off the force field and the reindeers bit any monsters that got near.
5points
#189
When I was little I thought littLe people lived in the traffic lights and would control them. I asked my friends if the 'people' could see me.. they said yes.
5points
#190
My grandma would point at the armored money trucks outside stores and would tell me that those are the truck that take misbehaved children away. Shit freaked me out.
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4points
#191
My mom would threaten to trade me at the children store for a kid that looked exactly like me but behaved good.
So many years later and I only now realize how wrong that sounds... children store
So many years later and I only now realize how wrong that sounds... children store
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4points
#192
"Don't grind your teeth or they'll fall out and you won't be able to eat again."
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4points
#193
When my brother and I would visit our Grandmother, and she didn't want us messing around with stuff in the back yard she would tell us that the Wompus Cat was gonna eat us. I think Im still scared of the dark bc of it lol.
4points
#194
I was not introduced to clear nail varnish because I thought they only came in bright colours. My mother used clear nail varnish once and told me that her nails became so shiny because she scrubbed her hands and nails clean everytime she washed them. So I spent hours in the bathroom scrubbing and washing my hands.
4points
#195
My dad had me convinced that he had an instruction manual that the hospital gave him when I was born. When I wanted to do something he didn't want to do he said, "That is not in your manual."
4points
#196
When I was about 3 Santa came to my grandparents' house. I didn't believe it was him until my parents told me to look outside, because he was taking off in his sleigh and Rudolph was leading the way. I looked outside and saw his red nose and believed it was Rudolph. I only found out years later that it was my aunt running down the street with a pair of red underwear stretched over a flashlight.
4points
#198
For the longest time, I had my daughter convinced that McDonald's hash browns were made from peacocks.
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3points
#199
The toys "are going to the repair workshop"...
The toys weren't broken and they were going to poor children >:(
The toys weren't broken and they were going to poor children >:(
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3points