Pandas, What Was The Worst Thing You Accidentally Did As A Kid?

I was 5 and my brother was 8.
I showed him where our mom was keeping the Christmas presents and told him it was okay to look.
I promptly ran out and told on him.
For what he tells me, the worst part was that my mom just tossed him this toy he wanted after she yelled at him.

Was about 3-4 years old walking with my family at a massively busy mall, saw a “Little person” and yelled out loud to my mom, thinking it was harmless, “Look Mommy! A midget!” Needless to say my family was more than a little embarrassed.

The first day I moved into my new house at 6 years old I was meeting the new neighbor boy who was a couple years older than me. We were out in his driveway talking about some stuff when his Mom walked out and, for whatever reason, I instinctively smacked her ass as she walked by. My parents still bring up how embarrassing that was for her to come over and tell them what happened.

In daycare when I was around 4, a lady that worked there walked by and I said in a really stupid "flirting" voice "Hey baby". My parents still make fun of me for that.

My grandparents used to have a time share condo in Florida, basically an old person's community. My mom took me there when I was maybe 5-6, I would sit on the balcony and just shout, "hey you're really old" at all the people that walked by. I've never been to Florida since.

I put a canned Miller Lite in my Pikachu lunch box in the 2nd grade because I wanted to be the cool kid at the lunch table and impress my friends.

Unfortunately, my mom saw how shady I was acting protecting my lunchbox and ended up opening it. She was livid.

Til this day, she still brings it up. It’s basically the go-to story when I bring someone new to the house.

Made fun of someone with cerebral palsy using canes to walk. I thought they were just walking funny on purpose and didn't know that they were handicapped. I still cringe thinking about when the teacher told me to stop and explained why that was wrong.

Every Christmas I’m haunted by one year when I was eight that I begged to spend Christmas Eve at my maternal grandparents’ house (my aunt and uncle are one year older and two years younger than me, respectively, so their house was fun). My dad paid for me to fly from Florida to Missouri to spend the holiday with him, just for me to want to be with my grandparents.

As a mom now I know that that probably gutted him. He passed away ten years ago, so I can’t even make it up to him now.

When I was about 6 or 7, we went to Palm Springs on some vacation. This was '98/99, when Pokemon was HUGE. Mom wanted to do some ~American Shopping~ and took me to a mall. One of the stores we went to was a book store. Well I was in luck: in this store they were selling The Pokemon Handbook that /included/ Mew and Togepi, which the original handbook didn't have. I showed it to my mom and begged her to buy it. However, considering I already had the original book she said no. I was sad, but continued to look through it. Then we left the store and began doing window shopping on our way back to the rental car. The parking lot was all the way on the other side of the mall. When we finally got there I tried to open the car door but noticed I couldn't: there was a book in my hand. I turned to my mom and showed her my accidental thievery. She looked at the book, then looked across the parking lot at the mall.

Mom decided it was too far to walk. I got my stupid Pokemon book, and became the first successful theif in my family.

My mom came to kiss me goodnight when I was 9 or 10, and my lips were super uncomfortably chapped, so I licked my lips to moisten them. Unfortunately, I licked right as she kissed me, and she thought I tried French kissing her, and she slapped me really hard. I am 34 and haven't told her to this day.

Humped the water jet in a jacuzzi because it felt good. This was before I discovered masturbation.

I casually called my step mom a pussy when she asked me to kill a spider for her - I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time. I had been watching Tom and Jerry, I didn't even know what sex was yet. I've never seen my father laugh himself to tears like that.

Ate fertilizer that I found out in the yard because I thought it was candy.

I was 5 years old and the day care I went to was in someone’s house. The owner’s mother stayed with her, because she recently had a stroke. As a result of said stroke her tongue was always slightly protruding out of her mouth. 5 year old me thought she was sticking her tongue out at me to be rude, so I returned the favor by very dramatically sticking my tongue out at her while shaking my head. Interestingly enough, no one was in the room but us and the mother couldn’t speak so I didn’t get into trouble!

I was an awfully animated, precocious kid that thought she knew a lot but didn't know shit about shit..... So I often fucked things up. Examples:

-Someone thought it was a good idea to teach me the phrase "Chips make hips" and I was offered chips by a plus size woman. Instead of simply saying "no, thank you" like a normal person, you can guess what I said. Age: 4ish

-When I found out my dad knocked up my best friend's mom, from her mom, I asked if he was going to be a bastard. I had just learned the meaning of the word; had no clue it was derogatory in nature. I was really trying to ask if they were going to get married. (answer: no) I hope he never hears about it. Age: 12ish

-Trying to be helpful and noticing there was ice coating the inside of the freezer and mom was always complaining about the lack of space, I decided to chisel it out with a hammer and flathead screwdriver. I hit a coil in no time flat. Didn't know that I had in fact killed the fridge and all the food in it for a few hours afterward. $$$$$ Age: 13ish

-Again, trying to help, I put 16 pairs of jeans in the washing machine. Killed that too. $$$$ Age: still 13ish

-When you had to pay 10¢ per text message and buy ringtones and AIM was a thing, I ran up a $600 phone bill one month. Age: 14ish

There's more. I was oblivious. Still am at times. I should probably take my parents out for dinner or something now that I'm swimming in guilt all over again.

3 years old: I poured lighter fluid on my cat Cooter because I wanted to give him a bath. Mom broke the shower door trying to wrestle the cat into the shower to rinse it off.

So when I was in grade school, a girl a few years ahead of me, in my sister's grade, suddenly died. She also happened to be my sisters friend, and she didn't handle that well either.

I didn't really understand death, I was in the second grade and also dumb. Things have changed a lot since then of course, now i'm just dumb.

Anyway, the first worst thing I did, my dad was trying to explain death, and my sister was in the room as well. All I remember is piping up, like I had it all figured out, "IT'S LIKE SHE RAN OUT OF POWER!". That did not end well.

The second terrible thing I did related to this, our school was a catholic school so Mass every Friday. To preface this, we had a mouse problem at my house at the time, and one of the little bastards woke my ass up early.

So fast forward to the school service we're having for this dead girl, and when one person is up there speaking, I suddenly and without warning let out the loudest, angriest, dad yawn in the history of yawns.

Dead silence. Everyone is looking at me. Not knowing the gravity of the situation I find myself in, I simply say "what? I woke up early".

Told the heavily pregnant mom of my best friend that she was sooooooo fat!

I was 6 but even if she were fat Stfu, Lil Lola! I practically lived at their house but didn't understand the concept of pregnancy.

I think she forgave me at the baby's first birthday. Who knows, she could still be holding a grudge.

When I was 7, I was in the family change room/locker room at a swimming pool when I noticed a stray thumb tack sitting on the ground under a bench. Didn't know why it was there but some morbid curiosity told me to place it on the ground in the open with the pin side up. About 5 minutes later, I started to think about how dangerous that could be and went to go pick it up only to find this teenage girl sitting on the bench in severe pain and nursing her foot while her family was helping and inspecting it. The last thing I remember was the girl saying, "who would do this???" And her father responding, "A FUCKING IDIOT, THAT'S WHO."

Took a LOT of money out of my parents plastic tupperware thing and bought a nintendo 64 from another kid. I didn't know how much, but probably a lot.