911 Operators Share Their Stupidest Calls, And It's Too Embarrassing To Read

Callers who missed their alarm and were going to be late for a flight wanted officers to take them to the airport.

Someone called because the sand at the volleyball court was too hot. It was 80 degrees out. I never really did figure out what exactly they wanted me to do about it.

Suspicious Hispanic males in the alley. Complainant (person calling 911) is very nervous and upset, thinks they're casing the neighborhood to burglarize houses because it's a nice area.
I get there.
It's a bucket truck. From the power company. Replacing a transformer. Employees were all uniformed.
They were Mexican, though, she was right about that.
I asked them if someone had been watching them through the blinds (she was), told them why I was there, we all laughed and I went back to work.

One was the pregnant lady who INSISTED I wake up the on-call (chief of OB/GYN at the hospital was on call that night) because she had itchy nipples. Itchy f*cking nipples. But because I'm not medically trained, if the patient says it is an emergency, I have to page it. He was NOT happy with me.

I had a caller who said she witnessed a car accident. I took all the information (location, vehicles involved, etc). Just before I dispatch PD she tells me that she saw it in her dream the night before. She took a trip to the psych ward of the hospital.

Had a woman call 911 because she saw someone driving down the road with his foot out the window. She was following him the whole time, and admitted he had his seatbelt on, wasn't texting or speeding, he just had his foot out the window.
She wanted the police to pull him over, to which I had to explain he wasn't breaking any laws.
She couldn't comprehend that driving with your foot out the window is not illegal, and proceeded to hang up on me, then call 911 again because apparently I didn't know the law and she NEEDED someone to stop this man. We connected her to a deputy who told her if she didn't stop calling 911 for stupid reasons he was going to ticket her for abuse of emergency communications.

A woman reported "either a fox or a werewolf" standing on a street corner.

One woman called sobbing because the snow plow filled in the end of her driveway that she just shoveled.

"I was watching porn, and a window popped up telling me the FBI locked my computer for viewing child porn."

"There are some kids hanging around on the street!" "What are they doing?" "They're just stood around talking!" "... ... ..." "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

One woman called 911 saying all of her smoke alarms were going off and her garage smelled funny.
Okay get everyone out of the house. Do you know why your garage smells funny?
No but I started my car and left all the doors shut.

Elderly lady calls 911, she asks what happened, why was it dark, where was the sun. You could hear the anxiety and concern in her voice. It was like 3am. It took some back and forth before he finally explains it's the middle of the night. She actually realizes what's up and apologizes for calling.

I had a lady call 911 because she saw whales in the ocean and thought they were in distress.

Called to investigate 'puppies whining inside a Chinese food restaurant'...There were no puppies.

I've had someone call 911 in a rural community because a black dude was walking down the street and "we don't get their kind here".

"How far down is it snowing?" All the way to the ground, now get the f*ck off my emergency line!

A man called to say his house was infested with hundreds of ant size dogs.

One that happens more than you would think is parents calling asking help from the police to help parent their child. "I need someone here to tell my son/daughter to do their homework/take a bath/wake them up/make them go to school."

Guy who went with two girls to a hotel room for sexy times called to complain they stole $50 and kicked him out of the room, my senior dispatcher told him it wasn't theft, it was payment for services rendered, but he'd be happy to send an officer to arrest him as well.

I had a woman calling hysterical, sounded really serious. I finally get her calmed down enough to tell me what's going on... she was scared of a pigeon that wouldn't fly away. She was safe in her car with 2 young kids. I was berated at and called useless because I wouldn't send an officer to shoo it away for her.