311 Obvious Hints From Girls That Guys Hilariously Failed To Notice

Well there was one time i did not get the hint.
I was walking home from school with a girl, and all of a sudden she kiss me and asks me if i want to come home with her because her parents were not home.
I said no because i had to get home in time to watch Rex Hunt's Fishing Adventures

.. i have a pole in my living room. so one day i dressed like a school girl and waited for my boyfriend to get home. he walks in and i started doing some pole tricks and he literally walked past me into the bedroom to change.. i was like 'uh hellllooooo im trying to f*ck' and he said 'oh i just thought you were dressed like that'.
he kinda killed it.

Me: "I really wanna try to sleep with a tall girl, see how it's like."
Attractive Girl: "Well, I'm 6 feet 2" (I'm about 5 feet 8)
Me: "Nah, I was thinking about 7 feet tall"
Still haunts me.

One of the bustiest, beautiful and smartest girls I've met in my life leans up against a nearby car and tells me "You should ask me out."
Socially-Inept-17-y/o-Rex: "Sure."
Never did. Only after she started acting angry at me did I realize she had a crush on me the whole time.

A friend (now boyfriend of 7 years) asked what I wanted to do that night. I said "you". He didn't even seem to register what I had said. He was like we should go see x movie.

We were seeing a movie together and she said she was cold. I said "yeah it's pretty chilly" and did nothing. Later she said it again, pretty obvious what she wanted. I proceeded to give her my jacket to put around her.
I'm a practical man.

I gave a girl a lift home from a date one night and she invited me in for "Coffee", I declined. My excuse being that it was late and I would not be able to sleep. That night I couldn't sleep, because I was up all night kicking myself once I'd realised what "Coffee" really meant!

Had a crush on my male bf. To start, I used to flirt with him (he'd flirt too), turned up to support him at a charity sport event he took part in when none of his friends did, went to his place for movie marathons, play-fight, and had cinema trips every weekend. Nothing from him. Nothing! So I gave up and decided our friendship was more than enough. I dialed back the flirting and just relaxed.
It took him a year and a half to figure it out. We're now engaged. Apparently patience does pay off!

When me and my fiance were in high school we were "best friends", which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it's hilarious to talk about now.

I attempted to low key ask him to prom. Had to be cool about it you know. Nice and smooth. My phrasing was something along the lines of, "Maybe you and I should go to prom together. It'd be more fun than going alone." His response was just "yeah maybe" before he walked away.
I took this as a rejection and immediately ceased all my other genius attempts at flirting such as hugging, touching his hair, letting him carry my bag to the bus (he just kind of did it? I never made him and it became a daily routine for us), smiling at him and other such things. I thought I was so subtle but almost everyone knew. I found out years later that he honestly had been clueless and the reason he had grown kind of distant with me is he thought I didn't like him back.

Oh god, I've got this one.
My buddy was dating a girl and we all went out to a bar, she brought a friend too (her roommate). Naturally the friend and I are talking and hitting it off. Later we all go back to their place and my buddy and the girl he's dating go up to her room. The friend invites me to hers.
Now I'm going to stop right here for a moment. I was 21 and a lot less experienced than I am now (29). Now that we have that caveat in place, let's continue.
So we go up to her room and we're making out in her bed (clothes on), there's a little hand wandering but nothing major. She pulls away for a second and looks me in the eye and asks "Are you big?". I reply "You tell me". So she grabs my dick through my jeans and starts basically giving me a handy. We start making out again and then she pulls back and says "Well I won't really know until you're inside me". Now in my retarded f*cking brain this meant, ok she is undecided until at some point in the future if she decides she wants to sleep with me, but that time is definitely not now.
We continue making out, but no clothes come off. My buddy and I leave the next day. I never sleep with her. This sequence of events doesn't strike me as odd, until YEARS later for some reason I am just walking somewhere random and the nights events pop into my head.

My prom date: "You could come see my room after we leave."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Oh never mind, forgot to clean it."
I still think about it once in a while and facepalm just as hard every time.

There was a girl i really liked when i was younger but never had the nerve to make a move. She slept over my house one time, in my bed. At one point she told me she was cold, so i went snd got her another blanket being the gentleman that i am. 12 years later via facebook she told me she was hinting that she wanted to have sex with me but i blew it. She is still super hot as well. Shame.

My fiance and I were chatting on FB Messenger near the start of our relationship and it went something like this:
Him: I haven't had sex in 2 years
Me: That's quite a streak, I'd hate to mess it up ;)
Him: Yeah it's been awhile
....
Wait, what
I then lured him into a hotel, f*cked his brains out, and now we're getting married.

Me: "Wow your muscles are super impressive!"
Him: "Yeah I work out at such and such gym you should check it out.
Me:"I mean I'm already checking you out, but sure I'll give it a try."
Him:" Okay see ya around"
Me: FACEPALM

I sat on his lap and I put his arms around my waist, rested my head on his shoulder and held onto his hands. He still had no idea I liked him

A lifetime ago in high school the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?
Ynez, if you're out there, I'm sorry. I'm a dope.

I was left home alone for a week during spring break when I was 17. I invited my friends over everyday and they came and went as they pleased. My best friend (female) and I went swimming and got into a conversation about sex with each other. Later that day everyone came to my house and we watched movies on netflix until about 2:30-3:00 ish in the morning. As they left I headed to bed and hear the door close. Next thing I know my best friend got in bed with me and asked can we cuddle so she can stay warm. We sleep and I wake up to our lips touching. I got out of bed and made breakfast. After she ate and left my house I got a text from her saying verbatim "why didn't you have sex with me I've been horny all week"

Mid-makeout session...
Me: "Do you want to f*ck?"
Him: "What?"
Me: "Do you want to f*ck?"
Him: [Pause.] "Yes."
We continued to make out. We had sex three months later. Maybe he thought it was more of a rhetorical question?

Walked a girl home because I had a huge thing for her and because that's what gentleman should do for ladies at night. Got to her door and she said I should see her room because she just decorated it and tells me all about it. I just nod and say it sounds really cool. She leans against the wall next to the door and just keeps talking to me, occasionally bringing up the room. Again I'm not taking the hint that I should move with her to the room. She starts playing with the hood strings on my hoodie, pulling them closer to her. I'm actually putting up resistance instead of just going in for the kiss. Finally she pulls really hard and I pull back and lose my footing and almost fall. We talk a little bit more, she brings up her room. I say something stupid like "Oh I'll have to see it next time I come over". She goes inside, I walk back across campus and realize what an idiot I am. I tell my friend about it and he literally smacks the shit out of me. She ended up having to kiss me a week later before I finally got the hint.