Hello and welcome to our latest edition in the jokes section. This time, the topic is the epitome of all hospital jokes, the winner in all the medical jokes categories, and something that is even spicier than doctor jokes themselves. Are you ready to guess the topic here? Sure you are - it’s nurse jokes! Jokes dedicated to probably the most dedicated people in medicine who are worthy of nothing else but high praise!
As you’re about to see, these aren’t exactly jokes about nurses but rather jokes for nurses. We just couldn’t bear to make even the friendliest kind of fun of these specialists who saw us through the last couple of years of the pandemic with relentless heroism, saving tens of thousands of lives. Thus, this compilation of funny nurse jokes is more for them rather than about them. A way to pay our respects and provide at least the tiniest bit of comedic relief in their day. And we’ve set the bar for ourselves pretty high here, so hopefully, these hilarious jokes will fulfill their mission!
However, even if you’re not a nurse yourself, chances are you’ll also find these jokes quite amusing. All you have to do is scroll on down to check them out and then give the best jokes your vote! Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern.
#121
When you get a bladder infection, Ur-ine trouble.
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#122
Recent studies show patients who have a cold feel better on Saturdays and Sundays.
Evidence points to a weekend immune system.
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#123
How was the nurse’s advice on Q-tips received?
It went inside one ear and out of the other.
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#124
What was the reaction of the patient who broke three ribs while lifting?
He felt like he had a weight on his chest.
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#125
What did the guy say when the nurse informed him that she was about to deliver the baby?
"We want our baby to keep its liver, please!"
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#126
What did the nurse advise the patient got heartburn after eating a birthday cake?
She advised him to take the candles off first.
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#127
What did the nurse say when the patient said he felt like a carrot?
The nurse advised him not to get himself in a stew.
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#128
Why was the ambitious nursing student collecting skulls?
She would do it to get a-head of everyone.
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#129
The teacher asked the nurse what is bacteria?
One of them replied, “Is it a back door to the cafeteria?”
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#130
"My Dad and I were talking this morning about my brother’s newborn baby…"
Dad: "I think the nurse will take out the plastic thingy from the baby’s arm today."
Me: "IV?"
Dad: "I think her name is Brenda, actually."
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#131
A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“Are you coming to our big Halloween party?” the bartender asks.
“Yes, I’ve already planned my costume. I’m going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood,” the nurse says. “I’m going to be a hemogoblin.”
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#132
"I remember when my wife gave birth at the hospital & a nurse came out and handed me a swaddled baby."
In a sad voice she then told me, “I’m sorry sir but your wife didn’t make it.”
I replied back, “Well, this is nice, but could you bring me the baby my wife did make!”
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#133
"I had to take my son to the hospital after he swallowed ten quarters. He was rushed to surgery. After half an hour I saw a nurse so I asked her how he was."
She said, “There’s no change yet.”
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#134
How many nursing school students does it take to fit a screw on the wall?
None, as students of nursing cannot put nails on anyone.
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#135
What did the senior nurse say to the patient?
"OB nurses are at your cervix in nursing school."
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#136
Why did the new nurse try to make eye contact with her patient?
The senior nurse asked her to cauterize.
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#137
What did the nurse reply when the patient complained about her pelvis?
"Oh, is he your second cousin after Elvis?"
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#138
What did the fashionista nurse say when the teacher started teaching about the new chapter on genes?
"Aha, here comes my favorite chapter!"
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#139
What is the main distinction between a nurse and a thirsty vampire?
It is nothing! They both function during the night-time when most people are in bed, and draw their blood.
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#140
What would a nurse who works in the surgery department mention to a woman whose child consumed a penny by accident?
"I'm sorry, but we can't see any change in your child."
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