Hello and welcome to our latest edition in the jokes section. This time, the topic is the epitome of all hospital jokes, the winner in all the medical jokes categories, and something that is even spicier than doctor jokes themselves. Are you ready to guess the topic here? Sure you are - it’s nurse jokes! Jokes dedicated to probably the most dedicated people in medicine who are worthy of nothing else but high praise!
As you’re about to see, these aren’t exactly jokes about nurses but rather jokes for nurses. We just couldn’t bear to make even the friendliest kind of fun of these specialists who saw us through the last couple of years of the pandemic with relentless heroism, saving tens of thousands of lives. Thus, this compilation of funny nurse jokes is more for them rather than about them. A way to pay our respects and provide at least the tiniest bit of comedic relief in their day. And we’ve set the bar for ourselves pretty high here, so hopefully, these hilarious jokes will fulfill their mission!
However, even if you’re not a nurse yourself, chances are you’ll also find these jokes quite amusing. All you have to do is scroll on down to check them out and then give the best jokes your vote! Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern.
#141
Do you know why that nurse joined HIPPA?
I would tell you, but I don't want to take the accountability.
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#142
How do you know the dead body by the side of the road is a nurse?
Because the stomach is empty, the bladder is full, and the rear is chewed.
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#143
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
HIPPA.
HIPPA who?
I can’t tell you that.
unknown
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#144
A man walks into a clinic for the first time. The nurse tells him to fill the cup to this line at least. The man replies “Every time I give blood I never extract it myself the nurse always does it.”
Nurse replied, “I understand but sir this is a sperm bank.”
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#145
A nurse walks towards a man informing him his wife didn’t make it while giving him the baby.
He gives the baby back to the nurse and said, “Give me the one me and my wife made.”
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#146
A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.
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#147
How do you handle Metronidazole?
Carefully… because it’s Flagyl!
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#148
"I caught a cold riding on a carousel."
"I think there was something going around."
unknown
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#149
Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital?
Because he was a-salted.
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#150
"Today I decided to donate blood. After the procedure I asked the nurse what my blood type was out of curiosity. She told me I was type A so I thanked her and left. As I was walking out the door she came sprinting after me and said Wait, I told you the wrong blood type on accident, it was a type O."
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#151
Three nurses died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St Peter asked the three nurses what they did on Earth. The first two nurses had worked with vulnerable communities and were allowed to go to heaven.
When the last young nurse said she worked as a nurse at an HMO, St Peter said, "You can go to heaven too."
The nurse was very relieved, but as she entered, St Peter said, "you can only stay for three days, though, then you must leave."
unknown
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#152
A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.
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