Hello and welcome to our latest edition in the jokes section. This time, the topic is the epitome of all hospital jokes, the winner in all the medical jokes categories, and something that is even spicier than doctor jokes themselves. Are you ready to guess the topic here? Sure you are - it’s nurse jokes! Jokes dedicated to probably the most dedicated people in medicine who are worthy of nothing else but high praise!
As you’re about to see, these aren’t exactly jokes about nurses but rather jokes for nurses. We just couldn’t bear to make even the friendliest kind of fun of these specialists who saw us through the last couple of years of the pandemic with relentless heroism, saving tens of thousands of lives. Thus, this compilation of funny nurse jokes is more for them rather than about them. A way to pay our respects and provide at least the tiniest bit of comedic relief in their day. And we’ve set the bar for ourselves pretty high here, so hopefully, these hilarious jokes will fulfill their mission!
However, even if you’re not a nurse yourself, chances are you’ll also find these jokes quite amusing. All you have to do is scroll on down to check them out and then give the best jokes your vote! Lastly, share this article with your friends and anyone to whom these jokes might be of concern.
#61
What did the man say when the nurse needed to administer him quickly?
"Yes, please do it fester."
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#62
What did the nursing student mean by pathological?
The logical reason for choosing the right path.
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#63
What did the night nurse say when the doctor asked if she took the patient's temperature?
"No, is it missing?"
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#64
What do you call two ITU nurses holding hands?
A synapse.
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#65
"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight… to fulfill my fantasy that we have health care."
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#66
Why did the nurse need a red crayon?
She needed to draw blood.
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#67
How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day?
She won’t stop needling people.
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#68
"I kept trying to playing hide-and-seek when I was in the hospital but the security kept finding me in the ICU."
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#69
What inspires a nurse to move at the speed of light?
A bed alarm or fresh coffee in the breakroom
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#70
You know you’re getting hangry when your patient’s meal tray starts to look appetizing.
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#71
Here’s our list of donor lungs, hearts, and kidneys in alphabetical order.
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#72
"A patient arrived at the ER via an ambulance with minor burns on his legs. His shoes and the bottoms of his jeans are charred. The doctor asks what happened, and the patient says he was trying to use a propane-powered weed burner in his yard, and things go out of hand. The doctor noted his breath reeked of alcohol and asked him if he had been drinking. The patient adamantly says no. The doctor couldn’t resist a setup like this and looked the man directly in the eye and said, “liar, liar, pants on fire.” Everyone had a good laugh, except the patient, who was so drunk it went over his head."
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#73
Laughter is the best medicine — except when it comes to treating diarrhea.
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#74
What complications arose when the hospital hired a Roman nurse?
She only issued the IV to bed number 4.
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#75
Did you get to know about the nurse who injured his entire left side?
Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
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#76
What did the nurse said when a boy told her he stood on a LEGO?
Try to block out the pain.
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#77
What did the bucket tell the nurse when she asked what happened?
I am here to see the doctor; I have a pail face.
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#78
What did the witch say to the nurse?
I have an appointment with the doctor; I had a dizzy spell.
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#79
Why did the senior nurse appreciate the new nurses’ work?
Her alphabetized list of organ donors was well organ-ized.
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#80
Why was the nurse found to be so nervous?
Because it was his first shot in the hospital.
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