68 Hilariously Obvious Lies That Were So Ridiculous Nobody Even Bothered Pretending To Believe Them

This dish is delicious. (I'm a disgusting cook.)

In high school a buddy told me that he didn’t steal our other buddies watch. He was wearing the watch when I asked him about it.

I was picking up a sofa from a guy I found on Kijiji and he stopped me right before leaving to see if I wanted to buy a mirror he was also looking to get rid of. I wasn't really interested but my wife seemed keen so we stopped in the hallway to check it out. He said "It was a gift from my son in law. It's a beautiful mid-century antique. I'll let it go for $75." He went on about what an amazing mirror it was and even told me "pick it up and feel how sturdy it is!".
I picked it up (it was really heavy actually) and took a peek at the back and saw a sticker from Value Village with a $30 price tag. I kinda chuckled to myself and asked if he would go any lower than $75. He said "I really couldn't". Then I said "Well, I can see a tag from Value Village on the back here..."
We ended up getting the "mid-century antique" mirror for $15 and me and my wife still laugh about the amazing deal we got on it.

My little girl told everyone in the supermarket that our cat passed and she was sad. We don’t own a cat.

"You're the best I've ever had"

Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger!

"If you tell me the truth, I won't be mad."

My brother told me I was a dragon and I totally believed him. Man I was a dumb kid, but now I'm a dumb Adult.

I had a friend in college who was a serial lair. Just all kinds of crazy things, that must've satisfied some psychological need, all of it harmless. He told me he developed a theory on how to bend light passing through air and pitched the idea to the physics department, which set up and experiment and proved his theory to be true. He was a general studies major. I kept pressing him "Well which professor was it? How did the experiment work?" Etc. Just kept digging deeper and changing the subject.

My classmate was watching videos during online class while she was unmuted and said it was a math video...

We were in Health class.

It’s not you, it’s me.

When I was in highschool a classmate told me he makes over 20 dollars an hour part time as a banquet server.

I did the exact same job and made $6.30/hr. I told him he was straight up lying to me and he was adamant that he wasn't. Told him to bring me a pay stub and prove it and he said "I don't have one".

This guy just regularly lied about all kinds of stuff but this was the first one I remember. I'll never understand compulsive liars. (pretty sure our MANAGER wasn't making 20 an hour ffs).

"I feel good enough today."

For flight training, anytime you fly you have to sign off that you are physically and mentally fit to fly. This means you have eaten in the past 6 hours, had a 10 hour rest period including 6-8 hours of sleep no longer than 16 hours ago and that you do not have any excessive outside stresses.

People lie about this all the time.

The teacher said this assignment wasn't required, or we would do it in class, or I promise I got it done!

Ugh, my kid and his homework are going to end us both!

“No, you don’t look like you have gained any weight.”

To my sister at weigh in, recovering from severe anorexia.

Edit: I was the liar in this instance, obviously.

I'm told numerous lies every day.

Like somehow I'm supposed to be able to find a job in a world that only values me cheerful disposition.

Well I'm not cheerful. And I can't find a job.

A guy at work told me to my face in a meeting that I didn’t need to sign off on his task because my supervisor had already checked it. Which was weird, because my supervisor had been off all week and left me in charge.

He acted so shocked when I pointed this out, like, what, did a ghost check your work? He didn’t think his story through at all.

“I see a future for us” - after he had accepted a job in another country that he hadn’t said he had applied for...

Put in the overtime now and you'll be rewarded later on.

I've had toddlers with faces/hands/clothes covered in peanut butter swear up and down that their brother/sister was the one who ate the peanut butter.

Also, one of my favorites from a couple of years ago:

“I didn’t write that!” - Sean

Edit once more: Sean claimed he didn’t write that with his hands covered in the charcoal he used to write that.

"I never said you had to sign the document if it wasnt true"

Says the person with three emails telling me to sign a document even after I said it wasn't true sitting on her outbox.