Lying is a sin; at least that’s what many of us in the Christian part of the world were taught as kids. Nevertheless, we still did it and continue to do until today. Some lies we tell are little white lies, like when we tell someone we’ll be there in only 5 minutes when, in reality, we haven’t even gotten up from bed. Other lies can be life-changing, like cheating on your partner or hiding your child’s true parentage.
It would be nice to have built-in lie detectors in our brains — that way, we could never be deceived or made fools. However, some people are such bad liars that clocking their lies is easier than spotting a black ram in a field of white sheep. In one online thread, a netizen asked fellow Redditors: “What is the most obvious lie you have ever been told?”
Some of these stories are the perfect example that coming up with a good lie is an art, and some of us can be hilariously terrible at it.
#1
I speak French, though I’m losing it from lack of use. But one of my college guy friends started dating a girl “from France.” He was all excited because she could talk to me in her native language and I could help translate. So he brought her to a party at my sorority house and introduced us.
I greeted her in French with a very simple, “bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va” which is just hi, welcome, how are you.
Blank stare and red face in response. She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she’s sorry, she didn’t understand me. I looked at the guy and said “I thought you told me she was French?” Because maybe she was a different nationality and he was confused.
He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool.
He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something.
I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague. TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you’re going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak.
I greeted her in French with a very simple, “bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va” which is just hi, welcome, how are you.
Blank stare and red face in response. She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she’s sorry, she didn’t understand me. I looked at the guy and said “I thought you told me she was French?” Because maybe she was a different nationality and he was confused.
He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool.
He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something.
I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague. TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you’re going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak.
15points
#2
"I will be ready in five minutes" - never, never has that been the case.
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13points
#3
"We cannot give you a raise right now, but we will compensate you as soon as the budget allows".
Turns out "when the budget allows" is "when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice".
Turns out "when the budget allows" is "when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice".
12points
#4
My husband angrily telling me he DOES help me with the house chores by vacuuming kitchen 3-4 times a week. When asked how come I have NEVER seen him doing it, he claimed he does it before I come from work. I hid the vacuum attachment (can't vacuum without it), it has been 3 weeks and he still hasn't noticed hahaha.
12points
#5
"The cat scratched me."
"You literally don't own a cat though."
"My fork fell onto my arms then. Idk."
"You literally don't own a cat though."
"My fork fell onto my arms then. Idk."
10points
#6
"We will keep your resume on hand, and let you know if any other positions open up."
As a recent graduate job searching, it hurts.
As a recent graduate job searching, it hurts.
9points
#7
My ex told me he was in a car accident, totaled his car, broke a few ribs. (He was trying to get sympathy so i would get back together with him.) Blaming the accident on me, since he was "Distracted" after the break up.
He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture.
But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car was fixed and in his driveway. "Oh yes, i paid the shop extra to get me in today. So i could have my car to come see you if you wanted me to....."
HAHAHA bro.
He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture.
But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car was fixed and in his driveway. "Oh yes, i paid the shop extra to get me in today. So i could have my car to come see you if you wanted me to....."
HAHAHA bro.
9points
#8
My first watch was an omega and I saved up on high school to get it. One of my good friends back then asked to wear it for 1 period and would give it back at lunch. He begged and begged so as a hs kid I gave in or couldn’t keep saying no I guess, weak on me, obviously. Well, He smashed it (apparently smashed the glass to test it) gave it back and said it was a fake and that’s why the glass cracked and said he didn’t do it and it just fell apart. The jerk became a medical doctor and is now involved in politics and holds state office. I’m still pissed about the watch he never admitted he broke cuz he was salty and jealous. Jerk then, jerk now.
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8points
#9
when i was 16 i’d had a crush on one of my coworkers, and he’d liked me back. i thought things were going good until i asked him if he wanted to go out on our shared day off, he agreed, and then the day of cancelled and told me it was because he needed to take care of his fish.
plot twist here is that i’d told a few of my friends, two of which worked with me and the guy, and i went on and on about how rude it is of him to not even give me a believable lie. those friends were all hanging out and went to walmart that day, and ran into my crush....buying food and supplies for his fish. he told them how excited he was about the fish too. i felt like the biggest jerk.
plot twist here is that i’d told a few of my friends, two of which worked with me and the guy, and i went on and on about how rude it is of him to not even give me a believable lie. those friends were all hanging out and went to walmart that day, and ran into my crush....buying food and supplies for his fish. he told them how excited he was about the fish too. i felt like the biggest jerk.
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8points
#10
“If you tell a teacher the bullies will leave you alone”
That lie ruined my school life.....
That lie ruined my school life.....
Report
8points
#12
My niece with her homework: Oh, I understand how to do it, so I don't need to do my homework.
Girl, your Ds and Fs say otherwise.
Girl, your Ds and Fs say otherwise.
Report
7points
#13
As a tax accountant, I'm told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season.
My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash.
My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash.
6points
#15
My co-worker once tried to convince me that centaurs exist. She said they lived in a gated community in Hollywood and did all the horse stunts for movies.
Did we both know it was a lie? Yes.
Did she ever admit it was? No and I admire that about her.
Did we both know it was a lie? Yes.
Did she ever admit it was? No and I admire that about her.
6points
#16
When I was a kid, the internet wasn't a thing so, my friends were whoever happened to live in the neighborhood. One kid was a well known liar and exaggerator. We were maybe 14 years old at this time.
This kid could play guitar and was always talking himself up about it and talking about "his band." He actually could play, but "his band" did not exist.
One day, I called him at his house, from my house. I don't remember what it was about, but a few minutes into the conversation, told me, "by the way, I'm in Florida with my band", just out of the blue. This was before even pagers were a common thing. I called him. At his house.
I just said something like, "uh huh. Ok." and ended the conversation. I then proceeded to tell all the other kids in the neighborhood.
This kid could play guitar and was always talking himself up about it and talking about "his band." He actually could play, but "his band" did not exist.
One day, I called him at his house, from my house. I don't remember what it was about, but a few minutes into the conversation, told me, "by the way, I'm in Florida with my band", just out of the blue. This was before even pagers were a common thing. I called him. At his house.
I just said something like, "uh huh. Ok." and ended the conversation. I then proceeded to tell all the other kids in the neighborhood.
6points
#17
An employee of mine took a half day off so he could attend a parent-teacher conference in the afternoon. He was supposed to work the morning shift, but then called last-minute saying that it had all been bumped up and he couldn't come in in the morning.
Then he kept saying that the meeting was getting dragged out all day, finally showing up around 4pm. He insisted that the school had bumped his appointment up to 10am, all the while forgetting that he was wearing a visitor's badge sticker on his shirt that clearly said "checked in 2pm".
Then he kept saying that the meeting was getting dragged out all day, finally showing up around 4pm. He insisted that the school had bumped his appointment up to 10am, all the while forgetting that he was wearing a visitor's badge sticker on his shirt that clearly said "checked in 2pm".
6points
#18
In the early 90’s I was at work making $5/hour, and a co-worker looked me straight in The eye and said he had bought a surface to air missile from China and kept it stored at him moms house in a different city. What the hell, dude? That’s not even close to believable.
6points
#19
Yes the company has been sold, but the new owners are not making any changes in personnel.
I've been fired 3 times because of new owners.
I've been fired 3 times because of new owners.
6points