91 Times People’s Worst Suspicions Came True After Discovering Their Partners’ Double Lives

My husband was cheating. I knew something was wrong, but I never imagined that. He always had his phone; it was never out of his sight. When he came home from work, he would be sitting in the driveway on his cellphone for a while before coming in. Intimacy started getting sparse... So many little things that I never even worried about, because I thought they were normal marriage ups and downs, became huge 'AHA' moments after I connected all the dots.

In the mid 2000s/2010s, I worked for a major bank. I was shocked at how many men had second families, that we usually discovered when one of the poor, unsuspecting wives would call us after coming across banking paperwork that didn't match any of their family's accounts but was in her husband's name. She would be confused, call the bank wanting to know what was going on; I'd be able to see exactly what was going on, straight away, but wouldn't be able to say anything to the wife because her name wasn't on the account, etc., so I'd just have to assure her it was a legitimate account and gently advise her that she might like to discuss this account with her husband. Oof!

I found out my husband had been opportunistically cheating for our entire relationship, was in a secret satanic cult, had a long-term girlfriend in Texas (also in the cult), and was essentially leading a double life. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, had been a lie. I was just the bank. Within a few weeks of the divorce, he married the girlfriend. Now she's the bank, and he's already cheated on her, too

He told me he owned a cabin and was financially stable. He told me he didn't have any debt besides his vehicle. I was planning to get a camper for my kids and me and had money set aside for something small. He already had a camper, but it was too small for us to take the kids, so he said he would sell his and use the money he got for it to go in on a bigger one with me. I found a bigger one and paid cash for it (with the little money I had), with the understanding that when he sold his, he would pay me half the cost and we would both own it 50–50. Finances mattered to me because I was going to lose my alimony and gain a house payment by marrying him. I knew he didn't make a lot of money, and that was okay, but I was not prepared to find out he lied to me."
"After the wedding, we went to the bank to refinance my house (I had to pay my ex his equity in the house) and found out that my new husband did not own a cabin; it was his aunt's that he had been living in. He had $9K in credit card debt. His credit was in the 600s, so we couldn’t get a good rate on the mortgage. He owed more than his camper was worth, so he would never pay me the half he said he would. He said he would split the new one, and his car payment was almost $800 per month. He said he didn’t tell me because he was embarrassed to be 48 years old and have nothing but debt and zero assets. I also found out he had stolen all of his mom's pain meds for her back. This was one of the most frightening times of my life.

A college friend's daughter is the biological child of my ex-husband. They were hook-up buddies when they didn't have other options in the months before he and I met. She was on-again-off-again with her own partner, and they had one last tryst before we went exclusive. Fast-forward 11 years, the girl is blood typing in school and, through the lesson, realizes she couldn't have the type she has with the parents she knows. That's when my ex sat me down to tell me that, while we were solidly childfree, he had a daughter with our friend.
He didn't want to be a dad to her, but she may want something from him, and he wanted me to be cool about it. I used that as an excuse to leave the otherwise horrifically toxic relationship I had justified through the sunk-cost fallacy

When he was younger he beat his sister so badly he put her in hospital. She was always rude to him at family gatherings and he would never react. He would never be part of family conversations. We would all sit around the dinner table chatting and joking after dinner but once he had finished eating he would move over to the lounge and sit there alone. He would rarely talk about his past.

He did the same to his exwife. Not to the point of putting her into hospital but he did enough and often enough for her to leave him.

I found out about these things from some of his family after I left him because of, guess what, domestic violence. I felt so betrayed and hurt that no one, who I thought had become my family too, had the decency to warn me about him when I was with him. Not his parents, his sister or any of his extended family. I have kids with this guy now. I have a life time ahead of problems.

So yep, his withdrawal from family social interactions even when present and the absence of stories from his past were big red flags.

Please people, don't protect the guilty.

Husband was cheating. I knew something was wrong, but I never imagined that. He always had his phone, it was never out of his sight. When he came home from work he would be sitting in the driveway on his cell phone for awhile before coming in. Intimacy started getting sparse.... So many little things that I never even worried about, because I thought hey were normal marriage ups n downs, became huge “AHA” moments after I connected all the dots.

I still hate to see anyone who can’t let their cell phone out of their sight or gets mad if their SO picks it up. It makes me immediately suspicious.

Good luck, I’m sure you’re asking for a reason.:(.

I used to live with them. They we went long distance for work. It was temporary, the timeline set in stone. Couple of months max and we’d be back in the same city.

Then I said hey I’ve got some holiday should I come back and visit? And they say no, no it’s okay.... and they really really don’t want me to come back..

That means there’s someone else living in your old house and sleeping in your bed with your mrs.

When she said she was in a city that she never goes to, but that guy she knew was from there. Took me back a second but figured it was nothing now I regret that I never asked why she was there. But hey the truth always comes out sooner or later.

Onion rings. I always assumed she liked them. When I ordered them at a restaurant and she would eat one two and leave the rest to me. I always thought she was just being kind cos I like them so much and I'm a bit of a fat person. Then one day, a decade into our relationship she tells me doesn't like them and she never has. I have no idea who this person is anymore.

Not me, but my wife's former boss found out a few big secrets right before she married her husband. It all started when they went to apply for a marriage license and it was revealed he was still married to his "ex" wife. Turns out he never signed final divorce paperwork and was "shocked" when they found out. Okay unfortunate as it might be it'll only take a little bit to finalize and move forward with their wedding she thought. Once that was resolved the next issue came up. When going to pay for the wedding DJ she found their joint account had a $20,000 withdrawal. She freaked and called her fiance thinking it was fraud. Nope. Turns out he had substantial debt with his now ex wife that he forgot to tell her and wanted to pay off before the wedding. Now I don't know about you, but for me that would have been a deal breaker, if not then I would have at least postponed the wedding, not for her I guess. Then just two weeks before the nuptials she found his 12 year old daughters (who only stays with them once a week) soiled underwear hidden in her overnight bag. When she asked the daughter about it she confessed that she does it all the time. A 12 year old that ISN'T POTTY TRAINED. He swore that he remembers potty training her when she was little and doesn't know how her mother let her defecate herself and hid it from him for years.

This woman was pretty intelligent. She was the GM of a high end hotel/inn/wedding venue. Was definitely a hard working, have your things together type person. I cannot fathom how she still ended up going through with the wedding. They're still together a few years later so I guess it worked out. Don't know if the daughter ever learned to use the toilet. Last I heard a doctor didn't know if her bowel muscles could relearn how to function properly and she might need surgery or be incontinent for life.

He said to remember how happy he made me because at some point I was going to hate him. I thought he was joking...

Certain mannerisms while lying, avoiding the topic or changing the narrative when it was needed. I observed these things, but thought it was nothing much. Later, it turned out that wasn't the case.

Everything had an answer.

What did you do this morning? was never “nothing much.” It always was a detailed response.

You don’t always remember what toothpaste you bought or what temperature you set the oven to.

My brother looked at his and his wife’s bank account one day and an usually withdrawal was shown. $300 for (I don’t remember the name of the company). He asked his wife and she said it was the new gym she was going to. She had been losing weight, eating better, and look much healthier than before so he brushed it off.

A few weeks later she said she needed to start working Sundays. She was in the Kitchen and Bath industry so with all the trade shows and summer home renovations, he let it go.

Long story short, she was cheating on my brother. The $300 monthly payments were the guys ankle monitoring fees and the Sunday’s she worked, she was driving up to the prison close to us, seeing ANOTHER guy.

People don't generally go to brunch with their cricket buddies.

To be fair, by that time I was over it and waiting for the lease to be up.

A cousin of mine met a guy and got pregnant after a couple of months of dating. He then suggested they should go and live together. She ends her lease and finds a new place for the both of them closer to his working place, which was basically an hour drive away from her own job. The guy never moves in with her and the relationship gets horribly rocky, she basically ends up being a single mom with a parttime dad. After some good digging around she finds out that he lives with his girlfriend of 10 years and has 3 children with her.

In hindsight there were so many red flags; she never went to his place because he said he lived with his uncle who was terminally ill and he didn't want to stress the old man. But what really got me angry for her was that his entire family was acting like nothing was out of the ordinary. His mother and sister even helped us to organise the babyshower for them.

She is doing great now but I always feel bad for her thinking about what she went through.

When your mom's close family friend doesn't want to tell her about the father of her kids.. maybe that's because he's also your father.

She told one guy I was okay with their relationship, he sent edible arrangements to the house and contacted me bc she lied and told him she was in the hospital for some reason. I started tracking her finances and recording calls. And I eventually found out about the multiple boyfriends and the reason she abandoned her daughter everyday for two years was a boyfriend in the next state so she could play mommy to his son who had brain cancer. And the boyfriend looks like a younger version of her dad. He didn't know about me either until I contacted him and he still doesn't know about the other guys she has been entertaining.

Sensitive about me reading anything of his. Locks computer from me. Stuffing bills in places he didn't think I'd find. Having pretend conversations with his fake boss and having his fake shifts constantly change. Outlandish unjust stories about everyone out to get him and so many bad things that happened are someone else's fault. Countless suspected lies which became more outlandish all the time. Never admitting faults.