91 Times People’s Worst Suspicions Came True After Discovering Their Partners’ Double Lives

I caught my boss cheating on his wife. We ran a really small screen printing operation and it all started with these "business trips". The first few times it was just a week or two, then over the span of a year the trips would become longer and longer and more frequent. I ran the business when he left. He wouldn't answer customer calls while he was there and never brought back any new clients, so i started to get suspicious.

One day he slipped up and sent an email to our work inbox that i used daily to correspond with customers. It was a receipt for a flight to new York for him and another woman... On his wedding anniversary... He never even called his wife that day. Now at this point I was not interested in outing him or meddling but I was the only one that talked to him daily. I loved his wife and when she came to me asking if I heard from him because he didnt call her on their 23rd wedding anniversary and didnt know where he was, i may have mentioned that he was in new york and maybe that was why he didn't call. She asked how I knew that and i told her there was an email in our work inbox.

I absolutely do feel guilty about being the one to lead her to finding out the truth but it ended up being what he wanted anyway. He didnt have bravery to tell her what was going on and wanted to get caught. They split and he now lives with the other woman. His ex wife is happier than she has ever been considering the wake of lies he left her to deal with.

After the birth of our son I had really bad PPD, but I was unable to talk about it, even though I wanted to do so. Instead I actively planned and thought about an escape route where I left and I'd be untraceable. Probably the only single reason I didn't follow through was b/c I couldn't figure out the correct time to leave. The entire time my husband and family thought I was fine and happy and not struggling with any of these things. I'm better now; 100% better - but man that was a dark time in my life.

Not me, but a family I used to work for and have known for a few years. Dad always worked overseas, often only coming home at Christmas. Even then he would only stay for a few nights and would be quite quiet and keep to himself. I’d worked for this family for some time and only met the Dad 3ish times. Mum put it down on the Dad needing to provide as she looked after one of their sons with learning disabilities and worked part-time.

Apparently the guy had another whole family going in a different country, wife, few kids. I was shocked to find out but not completely surprised.

Ex was saying to me I should spend more time with my friends and playing video games as I don't get to do this enough. In reality she was wanting me out of the flat more (we shared with one other person) as she was sleeping with the upstairs neighbour and didn't have the heart to break up with me.

I found out when my gaming night got cancelled one night after uni and I walked in on both of them in bed together.

Should have connected the dots when my other neighbours were making comments about him going out a lot in the evenings and when she went from wanting to spending lots of time with me to wanting me to spend time with other friends.

I hate that jerk, but I am happy now.

I don’t want to go into too much detail but I should’ve paid more attention when my partner at the time would never let me near her phone. She would do anything to lure me away from it.

Turns out she had explicit messages to other dudes, I don’t know if she ever did anything physical but I felt the same amount of betrayal. This was in a long committed relationship of 2+ years.

This question has a very narrow answerable audience, but I'll answer anyway. My girlfriend and I were driving down the road in her hometown and she pointed out a restaurant that she use to work for. She mentioned that she still has a dish from there because her boss gave her a dish with a bunch of cookies on it around Christmas, and they closed before her next shift in the new year. Then she went on and on about the dish for about 5 minutes.

I asked why they closed so suddenly, and she tells me that the woman who co-owned the restaurant with her husband discovered that he had a second life on the west coast with a separate family there. He was able to get away with it because he was also a pilot in the army or some stuff and took long trips pretty often.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the drive making fun of my girlfriend for going into such detail about the dish and not bringing up that exciting detail until I asked.

When he says they were just talking, don't believe it. Especially when the love letters found says otherwise. Oh, and if he has a blonde hair on his face, and you are a brunette, question it.

When I was in college I dated a guy from work and we eventually got engaged. He had been married before but got divorced shortly before we started dating. Aside from that he had a lot going for him. Graduated from the air force academy and flew for them, played for the academy’s basketball team while he was in school, played classical piano, had gotten two bachelor degrees in biomedical engineering and chemistry, and was currently attending medical school. I was young, stupid, and had just gotten out of a serious relationship so I ignored about a million red flags. My mom wanted to see a document proving the divorce was finalized, but it was at his parents house. I wanted to hear him play piano, but he would always refuse or make me close my eyes while he did it. My sister tried to find him on the basketball team’s old rosters, but couldn’t. He claimed that his parents were against our relationship so I couldn’t ever meet them or they would be absolutely brutal to me. Can you guess what happened next? A week before our wedding his conscience finally caught up to him so he came clean. He did go to the Air Force academy, but he wasn’t on the basketball team or a pilot. He had never even graduated with one bachelors degree, let alone two. He had gone to the trouble of buying med school textbooks and having me drop him off on campus, even met up with my sister who was in nursing school for lunch. He would tell me what they had learned in class that day. He wasn’t in med school. And that divorced wife? Nope, they were still unhappily married. And his parents couldn’t meet me because then I would have found everything out. Oh, and he had also been in the process of converting to my religion since that was important to me. What’s wrong with that? He was already a member, had just gone off the rails inactive, and rather than confessing to that and turning his life around, he had to pretend that his less than ideal habits were out of ignorance and so now he could be better by “converting”. All of this should have been glaringly suspicious at the time, but I didn’t want to see it. He had thrown an element of emotional toxicity into the relationship as well that made me feel like I was completely worthless without someone as amazing as him. Guy was a piece of work. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. And if multiple people come out and express concerns about the relationship, you should probably listen...

Sigh. I learned he had gotten married while we were long distance dating. That was about one year in, and I didn't learn until 3.5 years in. In retrospect he always accused me of flirting with others/cheating on him so that should have been a sign since he was projecting his guilt onto me. Just glad I found out before we had kids or something.

This is the first time I feel i can actually contribute to this sub. Long story short, my girlfriend of 6 months turned out to be married. I found out when i didnt get a response through text for about 2 days and "found her on facebook." Below are the signs I should have noticed.

1. "I dont use facebook" (she used facebook but im not into social media much so I didnt ovethink
2. Saw odd photo of her and her husband who she told me was her cousin. It was family portrait style of the two of them, and just figured they were close.
3. No PDA of any kind whatsoever, not even hand holding, in front of friends. Understandable, people generally dislike PDA
4. Not introduced as BF to her friends.

Numbers 2 and 4 are the ones I kick myself for. Really shoulda pieced it together at that point, but I was head over heels. Love can blind. Dont overthink these things, as mentioned, this is in hindsight. Dont assume the worst if you see these things in your significant other.

EDIT: words.

My college ex was a compulsive liar. Like literally could not stop lying when he tried to, lying about completely inconsequential stuff. The biggest one was he dropped out of college and pretended he was attending classes for a whole semester and as a result pretty much everything he said about his day to day life was a lie.

When I found out I realized so many conversations we’d had that didn’t make sense to me and I’d assumed I was dumb or crazy—I realized every time it wasn’t me, it was that he was lying. One from over a year before he dropped out was I asked him how he liked his geometry professor and he told me he wasn’t taking geometry but I could have sworn he said he was. Turns out he had been taking it but dropped it part way through the semester and didn’t tell me.

Another one that had bugged me but I couldn’t put my finger on why: we went to a monthly dance event very regularly. One month I couldn’t make it but I told him to go and have a good time without me, and he said he’d gone and seen such and such people and they’d played this and that song, great. Then I ran into another regular who said she’d missed us there. I told her Ex had been there but I wasn’t and she awkwardly said “...maybe he and I just missed each other?” Turns our he didn’t feel like going but didn’t want me to think he was a shut in without me.

My mom and stepfather were together for 21 years (never married). He was a good guy and raised me like is own daughter. A few years ago he had a heart attack. While me, my mom, and his daughter (mich older then myself) where in the hospital his daughters best friend showed up. Me didn't think much of it until he went into surgery for a triple bypass. His daughters best friend confessed to my mother that her and my stepfather had been dating secretly for 11 years and that they were in love and he had been promising to marry her for years. My mom had a good cry then we left the hospital and never saw him again. The man raised me from 6 years old to 27. He calls me ever fauthers day, not to say hi or anything but just to ask where is stuff is and to threaten to get a lawyer involved to get his stuff back. It's been 5 years. My mom sold everything of his the second we got home from the hospital.

Obligatory not me, but my parents caveat

My dad was working out of the country in a pretty senior role, and he was coming home less and less, spending loads of time in his room, or on his phone. During this period my step-mother (dad's first wife) tells impressionable teenager me about the time my dad cheated on her, and when he left her with two young infants. When Dad comes home next, we're in the kitchen and I offhandedly mention that I didn't know this stuff about him, and how my stepmom was telling me about this other woman, and all of a sudden his phone rings. He screams at me to not touch it and to just hand it over to him. I even made a joke about how it might be because it's another woman, and he laughed. He left my mom shortly thereafter.

Now I don't know if my stepmom had a gut feeling and was trying to hint at things for me, or if it was merely coincidental, but my dad's reaction sure makes a lot more sense now. As you may guess, he isn't a pillar of fidelity...

Still pretty sure that an ex of mine lied about how badly injured he was in a workplace accident. The worker's comp physical therapy "just wasn't working" and he acted like he could barely move, then after they settled with him (for a princely $10k) all of a sudden he was making huge progress in physical therapy, felt so much better, etc. Went from hobbling to reasonably competent. He'd also had a previous injury in that area and the moment the accident happened he forbid me from talking about it. He framed it as they might pretend it was all pre-existing and not pay him, but, yeah. This was also supposed to be his dream career--and he refused to work with the company, quit, and threw a lawsuit at them.

I had always known and accepted that he was poor, but this fiasco really made me see that he was in a state of learned poverty and helplessness that wasn't ever going to get better. He was aching for the quick payout--and as you might guess, that 10k lasted maybe 2 months, tops. We were actually engaged by then, because I was an idiot, but I realized that if I married him I'd be drowning myself. Breaking up with him saved my life.

My ex wife had two affairs. Some things I overlooked the first time:

Emotionally distant

Lowered participation at home (she was a stay at home wife and started neglecting everything)

Shifting sleep schedule

Paranoia (started locking her computer when she went to bed, started going through my phone when she thought I was asleep)

Social engagement only when the person was physically present.

The person was my best friend and supervisor at work. Only reason I found out was his wife saw messages they were sending and made him tell me.

The second one was was worse. She was making plans with another person to leave me, and even to this day I wrack my brain trying to find signs that I missed.

Only reason I found out about that one was she admitted it to me during a conversation about her finding work.

I think I'm going to avoid any relationships with anyone who wants to be a housespouse for now.

He lied. About almost everything. Habitually. Including about being sober, which he’d used to manipulate me into doing things. But he was also charming, loved gaslighting, told horrific tales of toxicity to gain sympathy..... I didn’t realize any of this till several years in. I started going back over some of the stories he told, and with the power of the Google, was able to fact-check a lot of them. I was able to recall several specific instances over the years where I now realized he’d been gaslighting me. He once claimed to be in a fugue state, didn’t remember who I was, didn’t know where he was, didn’t know why his (ex) wife wasn’t there, etc. he was also completely dependent on others. Couldn’t “adult”. Or wouldn’t, idk. Couldn’t hold a job.

It made so much more sense when I found out/ realized what was going on-he was a sociopath. I tried for several years to get him to go to therapy, meds, etc. he refused. When he clearly had no intention of helping himself, I threw in the towel. I was able to look at him more shrewdly, and call him on his lies. It ended explosively, but I was able to get away in one piece. He messed me up mentally for a good while. There’s some things.. violence.. I’m still getting over.

A friend of mine was born and raised in another country where kidnapping is prevalent. He grew up knowing that his mother, who always worked very high profile jobs for their government, was kidnapped at one point and held for ransom. Years later it turns out his mother was a con artist from the beginning, and her "kidnapping" was staged as a way for her to give some people the slip. She conned her way through several countries, borrowing thousands of dollars from people on bogus business deals with foreign entities. Her kids, to their absolute credit, somehow never knew her story and worked hard in school and made great lives for themselves, with no help from her. Her story finally came to light and she skipped town. They severed all ties with her and a lot of things made a lot more sense to them.

I once dated a guy that crashed his car on purpose causing 40k in debt. However he told me it was an accidental car crash that wasn’t insured. I believed him fully and he often provided a very un necessary detail account and physical reenactment of the event unfolding. I guess that should have been a red flag but I guess I didn’t think anyone would intentionally mess up there lives like that I was wrong and also had debt collectors calling ME!.

When your spouse who works out of town every week in construction, while you stay at home raising the three wonderful sons you have and working as a nurse, comes home dishing the sordid details of all the other guys having affairs at their hotel, realize that he probably didn’t want to feel left out of all the action.

I dated this guy who was taking care of his terminally ill aunt. He only had a home health aid for the week and had very little support during the weekend so dating was hard. We would talk all hours of the day. Text and phone call. We used to go for walks at the park by his house and one time I asked to use his bathroom and he acted really weird. Saying I would disturb his aunt. But the aunt that had her own room and slept all the time. He would talk about getting married and having kids but something wasn’t right. It wasn’t until he got into a car accident that I started to ask questions. His story did not add up. He said he lost his license due to insurance going up too much after the accident but the accident wasn’t his fault. Long story short I dropped him off one day after a date and after we said good bye I get a call from a random number. I answer it and it’s his wife. She found out about me because she looked at their phone records and saw my number. He never was in an accident. He is an alcoholic and had a DUI and apparently he has been in two relationships with people and told both of them he had a sick aunt. OMG. I was the idiot.