Will we ever get bored with The Office? No! Will there ever be too many articles about it? Probably not! And let's not forget the countless The Office memes that keep the show's humor alive.
Have we ever dedicated a post solely to Michael Scott’s quotes? Not yet, but we are about to fix that blunder with this collection of his most ingenious quotes! All one hundred and thirty-three of them to make you relive perhaps the best moments of the series.
So, what do we know about Michael Gary Scott? Born in 1965, he’s about to turn fifty-seven this year on March 15th (mark it on your calendar!). So, just a couple of years younger than the legendary comedian who portrayed him in the series, Steve Carell.
We also know that Gary had a pretty lonely childhood and never attended college, having lost all his tuition money in a pyramid scheme. Also, all he ever wanted was friends, and that’s why he chose the life of a salesman, ultimately landing a job as the Scranton branch manager at Dunder Mifflin.
And, you definitely know the rest - he’s the most unorthodox boss with the weirdest sense of humor and a very inappropriate understanding of social norms. So, basically, one of the most fantastic comedy characters ever created.
Okay, but let’s go back to Michael Scott’s quotes - from ‘How the turntables’ to various threats to Toby; you will definitely find all of his brilliant thoughts here. Some of these quotes you might know by heart, while other wise words of Michael’s might’ve gone under your radar before. But, no worries, as this is precisely the purpose of this article - to give you a chance to memorize all of Michael’s funny quotes!
So, put on your ‘fun jeans,’ scroll down just one Angela, and check out the hilarious quotes for yourself! Vote for the best quotes that are the epitome of Michael Scott to you, and don’t forget to share this cheerful article with your office coworkers!
#41 Beets Are The Real Villains Here
“Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don’t you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.”
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#42 When “Figure of Speech” Gets Deadly Real
“If you break that girl’s heart, I will kill you. That’s just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl’s heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.”- Michael gives a warning to Gabe.
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#43 When \"Tough Love\" Gets Too Real
“As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So, I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it.”
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#44 Trustworthy? Let’s Pretend
“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.”
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#45 Crying Is Cheaper Than Therapy
“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”
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#46 Priorities That Actually Make Sense
“Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”
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#47 When Tech Tries to Kill You Instead of Help
“People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.”- Michael after using a GPS.
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#48 Plotting My Viral Moment
“I’ve got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.”
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#49 How Did That Even Happen?
“Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn’t connect, I was miserable. Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery.”
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#50 Love, Quantified in Gifts
“Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It’s a tangible thing you can point at and say, ‘Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth.’”
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#51 Corporate cousin vibes only
“Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s not really a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s not really a part of his family.”
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#52 Commitment Level: Probably Nah
“I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up, I would definitely not go.”- Michael on going to improv class.
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#53 So much for my 30s glow-up
“I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40, I had less money than I did when I was 30.”
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#54 Only the elite get this one
“It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don’t expect everyone to understand.”
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#55 Tears Stayed in the Passenger Seat
“I’m not gonna cry over it. I did that in the car on the way home.”
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#56 That Meeting Could’ve Been an Email
“I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.”
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#57 Comedy’s a wild card
“There’s no such thing as an appropriate joke. That’s why it’s called a joke.”
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#58 Well, That Escalated Quickly
"Number 8. Learn how to take off a woman's bra: You just twist your hand until something breaks."- Michael demonstrates how to (poorly) take off a bra using Dwight as a model.
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#59 Breakfast MVP Energy
“Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
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#60 We’re All Basically Aliens
“We’re all homos. Homo… Sapiens.”
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