65 Bad Boyfriends Get Honest About What They Did To Drive Their Partners Away

Your post resonated heavy with me my friend. I’ve only ever been in one serious relationship and I was such a jerk to her. I’ll reflect back on the things I did/said and I’ll feel physically ill. This became a reoccurring theme for any girl I became even somewhat intimate with. Eventually they would all leave me and at the time, I always played the victim and thought I did nothing wrong.

As I got older though, I realized how awful I treated all of these poor girls who only wanted the best for me. I’m glad they left me, they did the right thing. It makes my skin crawl when I think about my old self and how I treated people.

I just wanted to say I’m proud of you for having the self awareness to look back on your past and realize what you did wasn’t okay. I feel like that’s part of this whole life thing. When you make a mistake, you reflect back on it and try to learn from it and grow.

Human beings aren’t perfect and make mistakes, so try not to beat yourself up over it. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you’ve done “the one that got away” wrong like that. I struggle with that every single day and it s***s, it really does.

I used to date this girl from college, Camila. She was the most sweet, cute girl I have ever known.
And during the whole time that we're together, I pretty much treated her badly, you know?. I would not respond her messages, was pretty pessimistic all the time and would drag her down.
Looking back, I see how much of a jerk I was. She deserved better and she got it. I regret the things that I did, and I am working on being a better human being and, honestly, I am happy that she got the one that she'd always wanted.



It's not easy trying to get better, but I'm getting there.

I've learned now, and whilst yes I still have issues with my *mother*, she lied to me growing up and I realized at the time I couldn't trust women. My mother lied? What's to stop other women from lying?

I was just a huge misogynist, mixed with being Hispanic and being a machista culture. *I* was extremely toxic to my past gfs. I cheated on most of my relationships because I felt like my mother messed me up and now I had to teach a lesson.


I knew this was something I just couldn't continue doing because it was disgusting. I took time off to focus on myself and how to better myself, because nobody deserves that. I stayed single because I thought that truly I was way beyond the line or I had to atone for all those years.

I've been with my current gf for almost 3 years now and I feel like I wouldn't have been able to actually be happy until I realized how stupidly horrible I was. I look back at that time and I try to distant myself as much as possible, even from people who "enabled" my behavior.

Convinced her I was over my ex when I clearly wasn't. I let her get attached and then threw her away. I'm sorry.

Once I made her cry on her birthday and I cheated countless times.

I was fed the old line “happy wife, happy life,” as advice. It turns out that I was trying to be what she wanted instead of being the best version of myself, which is what she (and I!) needed. Everything fell stagnant after a few years.

You can’t worry about making other people happy because then you’re living for them, which causes you to be dependent on that person. Your partner will see that and it will come off as desperation. Everyone who has seen it knows that desperation is the biggest turn-off in another person.

I was selfish. I didn't think about how much it would mean for her to see me on any given day, I only thought about how I wanted to be alone. I didn't make an effort to accommodate her needs. I ignored them for things that would make me happy. I balanced my alcoholism with a relationship and drove away the best girl I ever had because of my dependency and stubbornness. And if I had the chance I would do it all differently.

I was in a long distance (across the world) relationship. I was very clingy, we would call at least twice a day and I would get so much anxiety if she didn’t answer. I would get upset sometimes about her not texting back fast enough and that would turn into me just being a little jerk. Luckily for me, she was much older, more mature, and understanding. But she still got annoyed.

Now I’m much much better. We took a break for a while and we’re back together. We only talk a few times a week and I understand personal time and am much older and more mature. She is the love of my life, I’m so glad she is so understanding. I’m a much better boyfriend now!

I was very emphatic when I spoke, to where everything I said sounded like it was an indisputable fact. A lot of that was the tone in my voice, along with me beating subjects into the ground.

Couple this problem with me feeling someone their actions were “stupid”. I really hurt some feelings. And I’ve lost amazing relationships based on this. Including my 8-year relationship with my high school sweet heart.

I was a jerk. And had I not suffered such a loss, I never would have self reflected on it. This is why you HAVE to let some people make their own mistakes.

Note: I’ve sometimes had conversations with that ex. Or even had lunch, innocently (meaning I didn’t ask for anything in return). And apologized repeatedly. She truly was my best friend, and I acted like scum. I just wanted her to know, looking back, she never deserved to be so disrespected. And told her I squandered what could have been a wonderful relationship.

Just realising how neglectful and self absorbed I was during our time together. But it made me look at why I was like that, so hopefully in my next relationship I’ll be more aware of my faults.

Perhaps a lack of engagement, although I don't think that's specific to my relationships, just my entire life.

Most certainly yes. Because I had, and have, very limited relationship experience. I made a lot of stupid mistakes. But my past relationships so did she. There could have been better more healthy ways for her to present my total ignorance, but she didn't. I think the modern dating situation has been running at the very sight of problems because people view relationships as too easily replaced. So there isn't any value on partners anymore.

One of the things she told me after we broke up was that dating me felt more like being a mother than being a girlfriend, and I dwell on that a lot.

From what I’ve experienced this is a pretty common problem, but I have a really hard time saying the words I love you. In my household these words were very taboo and I never said them or had them said to me.

At 17 had my only real relationship, we were together 4 years, and among a few things I know I could’ve done better reflecting on it now, initiating saying those words I found impossible. If she said it I could, but I could never just.. say it on my own.

I still find it impossible to say, to anyone. it’s the only thing that I just, choke up at and say “ahh.. umm. Yeah..” at every time.

She voiced her concern at it and I acknowledged it, and told her I had a hard time saying it. She mostly understood as she knew my childhood background well, but that’s not enough. You need to know your partner loves you.

We grew apart from other reasons, but my lack of showing compassion/ visibly putting in effort surely sped things along. Still feels bad.

Ooh where to begin


First proper relationship: I was selfish, cold, manipulative


Second proper relationship: Broke down and used her as an anchor,.

I stopped cuddling and being close to my ex a long time before we broke up. I basically pushed her away and she put up with it because she loved me. I should have ended things much sooner. I still feel guilty.

I used to always think I knew better. Whenever I Saw a problem with something and I wouldnt tell her, kept it to myself and made a decision based on it.

I talked to other girls while I was with her too, for no reason, wouldnt tell them I had a girlfriend so they wouldnt go away too

Poor soul, I had told her from the start I was a bad idea, that She shouldnt like me, She never cared until it was too much, and even then she didn't want to leave

I thought I was protecting her with everything I Said and did, inclusing ghosting. dang, was I dumb

And about the other girls I thought well it's just talking we're just friends so it's okay - well that's what I told myself.

Rather than just be upfront, I kept everything bottled up until it would lash out passive aggressively. Also, being codependent.

Ohhhh ya I've definitely been a terrible bf a couple times. I think one of the worst was letting my jealousy and lack of trust (which was half deserved) turn to anger and yelling instead of patiently telling my gf she was either being dishonest to herself and I or that she was being incredibly naive. Instead I had a bit of a tantrum or meltdown. But that relationship fell apart pretty quick due to my jealousy and insecurity issues and I learned a lot about myself in the process. Dealt with those insecurities and jealousy issues and also learned how to talk things through and set my own boundaries in relationships especially early on.


We're still kinda friends/ aquaintences and nowadays she's actually someone I really look up to. No romantic feelings though, she's just a total beast and strong af mentally and physically.

I think the worst thing I’ve done was staying in the relationship even though I knew I wanted out. The relationship started great, but I eventually realized deep down it was lust, not love. I just didn’t want to deal with the break up and being alone. It was selfish. The problem is this led me to pull away from her. Show little to no love for her at all. She would always be upset about it and scared that I was going to leave her, but all I did was essentially convince her that she was crazy and that I was just a cold person who didn’t show love even though I felt it (not true at all). This last for a couple of years. I prolonged it to the point where I actually started to get mad at her just for being there. I never actually showed anger towards her but I would be mad in my thoughts. I was mad that I wasted years of both our lives. I was mad at myself for not being honest and ending it years ago.